In my job I often have to deal with some of the most vicious, hostile, and officious people on the face of the earth. GP receptionists. There is no other profession where obstructiveness, unhelpfulness, and sheer bloody mindedness is a prerequisite of the post.

But even that group of individuals is not a patch on my kids when it comes to causing chaos and confusion on the telephone.

Amy and Evan have recently taken to battling with each other to answer the phone whenever it rings. On many levels this is a good thing – the phone is rarely for me and it means I don’t have to get off my arse to answer it. However it does cause some problems when I’m trying to ring in:

Evan: Hello?

Dan: Hello Evan! Is Mummy there?

Evan: Yes. (hangs up)

Or if Amy answers the phone:

Amy: Hello?

Dan: Hello Amy! Is Mummy there?

Amy: Why do you want her?

Dan: I need to ask her about…. well, it’s complicated sweetheart. Can you just get her for me?

Amy: What are you going to say to her?

Dan: I can’t really explain it to you right no because I’m at work. Can I talk to her?

Amy: What are you going to talk to her about?

And so on

Still, it’s probably worth it for all those occasions when the kids answer the phone to someone trying to sell us something. On those occasions I just sit back and chuckle to myself as the verbal mayhem commences. Sure, I only get to hear one side of the conversation, but that’s enough to provide me with comedy gold:

Evan: Hello?

….

Evan: Who is it?

….

Evan: I’ve got some dinosaurs.

….

Evan: Yes Daddy is here. T Rexs have big teeth. I’m wearing shoes today.

To be honest it’s almost worth getting my number listed on a few direct marketing lists for.

On another note I thought it was about time I gave the Midnight Movie Club Podcast another plug.

This week Lee and I have been discussing the Academy Awards. But not the 2010 awards. Oh no, we’re far too wild and crazy for that. We’re actually discussing the Oscars from 1990. I know, we’re mavericks! Take that Hollywood, we’re not going to play by your rules. You can’t tell the Midnight Movie Club what to do daddy-o!

So anyway, feel free to join us on our review of the 1990 Academy Awards where:

• Dan can’t remember the name, actors or characters of 90% of the films he talks about.
• Lee gives a insightful and stunningly accurate rundown of the nominees for 1990’s Best Documentary Award.
• Lee and Dan perform a virtuoso duet of a medley of hits from The Little Mermaid.

It’s the podcast all the cool kids are describing as “An inspired idea, marred by boring bits, but punctuated by moments of sheer hilarity”.

Check it out below. And if you don’t have the time to listen to it now you could always subscribe to us on iTunes.

 

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This is the movie that won this years Oscar for best animated short. It’s bloody fantastic (although I’m pretty sure I spotted a couple of product placements in there)

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My sister’s favorite film is Chicken Run. Or at least it was last time I discussed such things with her, which granted was around seven years ago now.

To be honest she may have moved on by now, but I am loathe to ask as whatever she designates as good I am duty bound to pore scorn and derision on. There is always the risk, however small, that she may have switched her allegiance to something really cool like Iron Man or Batman Begins, and I really don’t want to have to start hating hose movies.

So my sister likes Chicken Run and therefor, by default, I don’t. But now even if I she didn’t I’d still hold a grudge against Nick Park and his plasticine Gallus gallus domesticus (that’s Latin for chicken don’t you know). I’m pretty sure my chickens have been sneaking into the house and sticking it in the DVD player whilst we’re asleep.

We’ve already established that my chicken’s, lead by the dastardly yet charismatic Beryl, are plotting to take over the world. But now they seem to be getting bolder. Not only are they jumping the fence into next doors garden, but I am regularly finding them destroying the shrubbery of gardens two, or even three, doors down.

At this rate of expansion they will be catching the train into Manchester by the end of the month. Just look at the little buggers trying to figure out how to drive the car.

The charismatic Beryl (or “the white one”) may be the leader of the Sinister Six, but it’s the one named Evel Knievel who is the chair of the escape committee. It’s her who devises the elaborate plots to foil my intricate state of the art containment systems (bits of wire nailed to bits of wood). She is the Q to Beryl’s Bond, and as such must never be underestimated.

Just look at her. She even looks like an evil genius. Have you ever seen such a unattractive chicken in your life?

I saw yesterday that The Holmes is about to take the leap into chicken ownership. Perhaps we both need to get in contact with John. Maybe one of his chicken keeping courses cover how to handle birds bent on world domination.

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In July of this year I will be walking the 84 mile long Hadrian’s Wall footpath. I am doing this in aid of The Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity that provides financial support to parents who have lost a child. This might be help with things like funeral costs for those struggling to afford them, or to allow the self employed to take time off in order to grieve.

Over the next nine posts I will be showcasing the bloggers that will be hiking the trail with me.

Poppy

Poppy from the blog Poppy Cedes is another member of the blogging old guard. And like so many of those guys she unfortunately doesn’t post as much as she used to.

Poppy’s been on the periphery of my blogroll for a long time. She’s part of a group I rightly or wrongly call “Avitable’s bunch”, a group that I’ve never really become really involved in other than Avitable, Dave2, NYCWD, and more recently Kapgar. There’s no real reason for this other than the fact that there are a hell of a lot of blogs out there and I’m prone to panic attacks if my google reader shows more than 50 unread posts.

So I was aware of Poppy. Quite liked her in fact. But aside from dropping in and out every now and again I never really became a regular reader. That is until I started to notice something a little fishy going on.

As I mentioned previously I’ve been a reader of NYCWD (or Dawg) for a long time now. And when he started posting youtube videos of himself opening gifts from Poppy, and then I went over to her blog and saw she’d started posting videos of her opening gifts from him, I started to get suspicious. It seemed Poppy and Dawg were in lurve.

Sure enough, just a few months later Poppy had upsitcks from Vermont to New York and the two were living together. Two people brought together by blogging. Bloody marvolous.

Since Poppy and Dawg got together I’ve spent more time over at her place. And when I learned she was going to come on the walk even more so. And I must say I regret not becoming a regular sooner, especially as she rarely posts these days.

Poppy is quirky, funny, and just plain… I dunno… random. Plus Poppy likes cats. In fact she really likes cats. I mean really really likes cats. To be honest I’m surprised she has chosen to shack up with a man called Dawg – I’d have thought someone like Cat Stevens, Jude Paw or Simon Meowell would be more up her street (you see what I did there? I’m a comedy genius.).

And that just about wraps up the A-Z of Hadrian’s walkers. At least the bloggers anyhow. There are about 40 none bloggers coming along too, but I think I’ll leave listing them for another day.

There were also going to be a “T” and a “W” coming along, but unfortunately they had to drop out. In fact we actually have a couple of spare places for last minute additions to the team, so if anyone is interested in coming along drop me a email.

If you would like to learn more about the Hadrian’s Walk then you can visit our website. If you would like to donate then you can do so here.

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Nine months ago I told Martin from Xbox4NappyRash that on the birth of his daughter I would record myself singing “Yes” by McAlmont & Butler. A song that is pitched so high that even bats have difficulty hearing parts of it.

Unfortunately for you I’m a man of my word.

Feel free to take this and use it as you wish. Download the full higher quality video here.

Thanks to all who contributed (full credits and links will be coming soon), and I’m sorry if you just missed the deadline. If you still want to contribute something then I’ll be willing to put together a sequel (email me at dghughes28@yahoo.co.uk).

Also I apologies if I got anyone’s name or blog wrong – I’m a fairly incompetent soul underneath it all.

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Look what’s happened!

Martin from Xbox4NappyRash has had a baby! A little girl called Sanne. And beautiful she is too. Quick go over and congratulate him on his site.

And also thanks to all your kindness over the past couple of days the Midnight Movie Club Podcast has now been featured in the “new” section of the Movie and TV iTunes podcast category.

I can now die a happy man. Until I get my next obsession of course. Thanks guys, I appreciate it.

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For those of you who haven’t noticed I’ve got quite a bit on at the moment. Not only have I got the usual work/family life/social life (ha!) stressors; but I’m also trying to:

• Put the finishing touches to the organisation of Hadrian’s Walk
• Get the actual fundraising for the walk up and running (incidentally we just past the £1,000 donated mark – hurrah! Only another £19,000 to go)
• Play in and organise my Blood Bowl League (I know, I know)
• Record a Midnight Movie Club podcast every single week

I like to be busy, but sometimes you can be a bit too busy. The problem is that there isn’t a single one of those things that I want to give up – I’m enjoying them all too much.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you’ll have come to realise that I am a man with passions. These passions are sometimes short lived (kite flying), sometimes long term (blogging); but always burn strong and brightly.

At the moment the fire in my belly is currently focused in two directions – Hadrian’s Walk and the Midnight Movie Club. And I need your help.

Hadrian’s Walk we know about. You are either one of the people coming with me or you are one of the people donating, and that’s the end of the matter. If you haven’t donated already you can do so here. Go on, go do it. You know I’m not going to stop pestering you.

But the podcast, that’s a different matter.

If you have listened to the podcast (and why wouldn’t you have) then could you please, please, please head over to our itunes page and leave a star rating (or even better, a little review if you have time). You can even open the page by clicking this link:

Open the Midnight Movie Club iTunes page.

For it to register with the itunes people the rating has to go on our actual page within the ITunes store – so go to the page above. If you rate individual episodes in your iTunes browser it just stores that on your own personal hard-drive rather than registers the rating with the site.

I’m not asking for a positive rating or review (although that would be nice). And don’t leave anything if you haven’t heard it. But if you have listened to the podcast, then any feedback you give would be most gratefully received.

The reason I’m asking is because at the moment I currently have an overwhelming burning desire to be listed in the “new” section of the iTunes Movie & TV podcast category. My co-host Lee isn’t particularly bothered about it, but I need to be on that list damnit. We’ve put a lot of effort in you know. Look, Lee even did some coloring in with some felt-tips he got for Christmas:

It’s even keeping me up at night. Why aren’t we on that list!? We’re “new” aren’t we? We’re “new”! What’s wrong with us? Why do they reject us like this? Why do they hate us so!? Is it because they found out about that third nipple? it’s a birthmark I tell you! A BIRTHMARK!!

Ahem.

Apparently the only way for us to be noticed by iTunes staff and get in the “new” section is by having activity such as ratings and reviews over on our iTunes page. And being on that list is one of the best ways for us to be able to pick up potential new listeners. And we need new listeners as part of stage one of our dastardly plan to take over the internet.

So if you have heard the podcast, then could you go over there and quickly tell us what you thought of it. I really would be very grateful (but don’t mention I begged, I wouldn’t want Lee to loose the respect for me that I have so carefully cultivated). Thanks.

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In July of this year I will be walking the 84 mile long Hadrian’s Wall footpath. I am doing this in aid of The Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity that provides financial support to parents who have lost a child. This might be help with things like funeral costs for those struggling to afford them, or to allow the self employed to take time off in order to grieve.

Over the next nine posts I will be showcasing the bloggers that will be hiking the trail with me.

NYC Watchdog

NYCWD, or Dawg to his friends, from the blog A Pile of Dog Bones, is one of the godfathers of the blogosphere. He’s been around a long time, and is the favourite blogger of many a reader. Partly due to his writing and partly due to his geniality and warmth. He doesn’t blog so much these days, but that’s ok because we know he’s still there.

In real life Dawg’s is a paramedic living and working in New York City. In my view possibly one of the hardest jobs out there. No doubt about it, NYCWD is one of the good guys.

But bad things sometimes happen to good people.

This is a video of Dawg and his son DJ (or The Puppy Monster as he was often called)

In June of 2007 DJ, died in an accident in a swimming pool.

There aren’t the words.

But somehow Dawg finds them. I defy to you read this and not cry. I’m crying now if I’m honest.

Dawg has always been exceptionally supportive of the Joseph Salmon Trust. And the fact that he is joining me us this hike makes me very proud indeed. I will be honored to walk beside him.

Looking forward to meeting you man.

If you would like to learn more about the Hadrian’s Walk then you can visit our website. If you would like to donate then you can do so here.

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It’s Valentines day, and so the supermarkets and shops are full of overpriced chocolates and flowers. All ready to dupe those poor desperate suckers trying to grasp something last minute for their beloved’s .

But not me. Oh no.

I know how to treat a woman right. Not for me the mass produced tat these other fools are grasping at. No. I have got something for Kerry that is totally unique. Something that I have lovingly crafted with my own fair hands.

Oh yes, behold the special Valentine’s episode of the Midnight Movie Podcast!!

Two men in their early thirties discussing the movie Dirty Dancing. It doesn’t get anymore romantic than that hey ladies?!

 

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If you want more of this sort of stuff (and why the hell wouldn’t you) you can find it over on the Lee and Dan’s Midnight Movie Club webpage

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In July of this year I will be walking the 84 mile long Hadrian’s Wall footpath. I am doing this in aid of The Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity that provides financial support to parents who have lost a child. This might be help with things like funeral costs for those struggling to afford them, or to allow the self employed to take time off in order to grieve.

Over the next nine posts I will be showcasing the bloggers that will be hiking the trail with me.

Martin

Martin’s wife is pregnant. Very pregnant. “Any day now” pregnant. And if you’ve been following his blog you’ll know exactly how big a deal that is.

This baby has been three years in the making. Back in spring of 2007 Martin and his wife decided to have a baby, and started his blog Xbox4NappyRash to document it.

But things didn’t go to plan, and his blog ended up being a simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking chronicle of their struggles with infertility.

Every month we held our breath on Martin and his wife’s behalf, and then every month our hearts sank alongside theirs. While we could never experience the frustration and distress they were going through, Martins wonderful talents as a writer gave us a window into their wold.

Then, one day, the result was positive. And just as we had shared in their frustration, we all stood alongside them in their jubilation.

I should point out that when I say “we” I actually mean “three quarters of the entire internet”. Martins blog is huge. I mean really huge. Probably bigger than any other I follow. As I’ve said before, Martins skills are such that a book deal can only be inches away, and writing chops like that combined with his incredibly compelling story equal a bloody big readership.

And deservedly so. The swine.

When this baby arrives (it may even be already here by the time you read this) the entire blogosphere is going to explode with joy. There won’t be a blogroll in the world where at least one person isn’t jumping up and down squinying with delight.

I personally have big plans. Twelve months ago I pledged that I would record a YouTube video of me performing “Yes” by Maccalmont and Butler on my ukulele. And despite the fact that I haven’t picked it up in around six months and couldn’t play it at all last time I tried i still fully intend to go through with this promise.

0 months, 0 weeks, and 5 days

If you would like to learn more about the Hadrian’s Walk then you can visit our website. If you would like to donate then you can do so here.

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