But we’re having a lot of fun, that’s the main thing.

In fact I’ve got that tingling in my left nostril that indicates I can feel a new fad coming on. All the signs are there: I’ve been perusing lego fan sites, lego catalogs, and have been looking at the bank account trying to justify spending over £50 on the stuff in just two weeks

“It’s all about bonding with him” I say “And you can’t put a price on the love of your son can you? So in reality, not buying that Lego fire engine and polce car would be tantamount to child abuse really”

This past week Evan has been really ill with chickenpox. He’s been lethargic, nautious, and generally poorly. The poor guy has been really suffering.

“Excellent!” I thought. “a great excuse to buy more Lego!!”

So once he was better I took him and Amy to Toys R Us to get my fix reward him for being such a very brave boy.

So we stood there poring over the extensive lego display. He showed a mild passing interest in a £45 police truck/car/prison van combo pack.

“you want that one do you? Well, ok. It is very expensive but if you are really really sure,. And you have been such a brave boy. OK, because you are very special we’ll get that one”.

Then something caught his attention in the corner of his eye and he rushed over to the other side of the store.

“Look Daddy!” he shouted “Strawberry Shortcake!! Can I buy this Strawberry Shortcake Doll??”

“…but what about this Lego police truck?”

“Is Strawberry Shortcake too ‘spensive Daddy?”

“well, no, it’s only £12 but the Lego truck is cool Evan, it has a little prisoner man and everything!”

“Nah. I like Strawberry Shortcake”

“… but it has over 600 individual pieces” I’m starting to wimper now “600 pieces Evan”

“I want strawberry shortcake”

“OK son, OK” and I turn to walk to the tills, a broken man.

Still at least I can take solace in the fact that this is still his favorite Lego man. Remind you of anyone?

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Well look what I just went out and spent thirty quid on:

Thirty quid! For a couple of pieces of badly sculpted plastic!! You could get three hundred packets of Space Raiders for that amount! Or forty hours worth of parking in the Huddersfield bus station car park. Or even better – six Smokey and the Bandit 3 disk DVD box sets! (that’s my entire Christmas shopping sorted out then).

But no, I have to spend £30 on Hannah Mon-bloody-tana and her mutant faced horse Blue Jeans. Goddamn Disney corporation exploiting the fact that my love for my daughter is stronger than my half baked principles.

It’s not like it will ever get played with, that’s the galling thing. It’ll just get thrown on the pile with all the other bits of pink plastic. But Amy’s birthday is next weekend and she’s been consistently pining for this toy for six months now. And to be honest it’ll be worth the £30 to see her excitement when she opens it, especially since I’ve told her that the shop was sold out and I bought her a Batman action figure instead.

To make matters even worse Evan was with me at the toy shop so I also ended up shelling out fifteen pounds for this:

Fifteen pounds! For a couple of chunks of wood with some wheels nailed to them! I mean who the hell is it supposed to be anyway. The package says it’s “Flora” and her carriage from Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends, but she’s never been in any of the episodes that I’ve seen.

Goddamn Thomas the Tank Engine franchise exploiting the fact that I want to be able to get through the checkout of Toys R Us without having to deal with a major meltdown.

Actually ten pounds of that fifteen was Evans birthday money, which is why I was willing to part with it. And he does play with his wooden trains a hell of a lot, but still – that doesn’t change the fact that it was incredibly overpriced.

There is a serious post to be had here somewhere about the increasing lack of non-franchised toys and the ridiculous premium that we parents are duped into paying for a brand logo. But at the moment I’m not up to writing it. I’m still in shock from my sudden short sharpe pain in the wallet. I think I might have to go out and buy myself something to ease my trauma.

This £269 Star Wars Lego Death Star should just about do it.

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