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Gardening

In the garden again

Aug 21st, 2010
by Dan.
27 comments

There is a secret to gardening that they don’t tell you in any of the books or TV shows. But it’s a secret that’s well worth knowing none-the-less:

Always take your glasses off before you go out to do some work in the garden.

This year alone I have lost two pairs of glasses in our back garden. These joined the pair I lost last year and also possibly my iPod touch (the loss of which still brings a tear to my eye in my more unguarded moments).

It happens the same way each time. I go out there vowing not to take them off my head. Then I start to dig a hole or something and begin to sweat. And as we’ve established already (on BBC Radio no less), I’m a very sweaty man.

Soon the glasses start to start to slip off my head when I’m bent over. And so, subconsciously, I take them off my head and put them down somewhere safe.

And they are never seen again.

Of course it’s obviously not me who’s to blame. No, that would be ridiculous. it’s those bloody megalomaniac chickens, that’s who. I’m not entirely sure why they keep stealing my glasses, but I’m pretty sure it’s something to do with incorporating the lenses in some sort of death ray device.

Anyhow, I’m three pairs of glasses down but I’ve finally learnt my lesson. Today I’ve spent about seven hours in the garden and my specs have remained firmly on the lounge mantelpiece, well out of the reach of kleptomaniac hens. I WIN!

Plus, I got a hell of a lot done up there today. There is nothing more satisfying than a bit of physical graft.

The main thing I did was a complete clean and disinfect of the chicken coop. I’ve been having awful problems with Red Mite recently. In fact I suspect they may have even had something to do with Evel Knievel’s death last month. She was broody and refused to get out of the coop and I think the little bastards may have caused her to become anemic.

I spent about £20 on various sprays and powders, which appeared to work for a little bit but within a week or two they were swarming as bad as before.

So now I’ve bought an industrial sized container of “Poultry Shield” and have thoroughly washed and scrubbed the coop again. I intend on doing it all again next weekend too. I hope it works as I’m not sure what I’ll do if it doesn’t. Apparently painting the inside of the coop with Creosote works wonders, but you aren’t actually allowed to buy the real stuff anymore.

While I had everything out I also gave the coop a rather spiffing coat of paint. I must admit I’m rather pleased with the outcome.

I also painted the kid’s wendy house as well (you can see it in the background of the photo). I have vague ideas of turning it into the Duckhouse for my imminent Indian Runners. However it’s current function as the place where I store all the crap is pretty useful too.

I’m half wondering if I should make a run for the ducks too. The chickens have one, although I nearly always leave it open so they can free range in the entire garden. However it can be quite useful when we go away so the neighbors don’t need to worry about letting them in and out. Any advice from people in the know would be gratefully received.

However, that’s something to mull over. Tomorrow, providing the weather is ok, I have a list of other jobs to tackle. I’m going to extend the guinea pig run, convert the sandpit to a rhubarb bed, and extending my tyre strawberry patch.

Things are pretty fun on Old McHughes farm at the moment.

Squash

Oct 25th, 2009
by Dan.
20 comments

Yesterday I asked you to identify what this was:

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Arjan and Dad Who Writes thought it was a giant courgette. Don’t they know that giant courgettes are actually called marrows? Arjan I can forgive because his first language is Holandish (or is that Netherlandese), but for Dad Who Writes there is no excuse. Go away and study your Alan Titchmarsh more carefully next time.

Over on flickr, JJ Daddy-O suggested it was a zucchini – which is actually the US word for courgette anyway (those wacky Americans). I’m not sure what the US word for marrow is, probably “xisuduw” or something. Then again everything is supposed to be bigger over there, so perhaps they would just regard it as a medium sized gherkin.

Anyway, this is all irrelevant because it’s not a courgette, marrow, zucchini, xisuduw, or gherkin. It’s a pumpkin.

Honestly, it is.

I’ve got three more that look exactly like it too. The reason that it’s green not orange is that it isn’t ripe yet, but I’ve no idea why it’s elongated like that. It’s not because of the variety because I got three normal looking pumpkins from the same plant, see:

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Maybe it’s that uranium fertilizer I’ve been using.

Anyhow according to the internet there isn’t much of a chance of it ripening now it’s been taken off the vine (which I had to do as the parent plant was going rotten and yucky). I’m not sure if there is anything you can do with mutant unripened pumpkins. Anyone got any suggestions?

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Old McHughes’ Farm update

Oct 24th, 2009
by Dan.
8 comments

Amy’s school had their harvest festival last week, which was good because we had a particular revolting brand of tinned spaghetti in the cupboard we needed to get shot of. I often think that there should be some sort of international UN or NATO version of harvest festival; where all the wealthy western nations could smugly come together and patronizingly foist off all their unwanted barrels of toxic waste and radioactive materials onto bewildered third world nations in the name of “charity”. Perhaps that’s what Trafigura was doing all along.

Anyway the point is that it’s harvest time, and so I’ve been out on Old McHughes’ farm bringing in my crops. Except I haven’t as I don’t really have many crops to bring in. The potatoes were gathered months ago, the peas were basically eaten raw straight from the vine as soon as they ripened, and the runner beans were polished off in a giant stew a couple of weeks ago. Our strawberry plants have all died from neglect (just like last year), and the sweetcorn never got enough sun to develop properly.

I have harvested one thing however. See if you can guess from the picture what it is. I’ll give you a clue, it’s not a cumquat:

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I’ve a few plans for next year, including a grand strawberry pyramid. I also intend making an effort to grow veg that we’ll actually eat rather than ones that look good on the seed packet.

However for now I’m turning the plot over to the chickens to weed over the winter for me. With the days drawing in the hen’s egg production has started to slacken off to 3 or 4 a day rather than 5 or 6, so they are going to have to earn their keep somehow.

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An English country garden

Jul 8th, 2007
by Dan.
8 comments

Last month was the third wettest June in the UK since records began, beaten only by 1912 and 1982. What’s more the BBC claims July is going to be pretty rainy too; it certainly has been so far.

All this has meant I haven’t got out in the garden very often recently. There have been some developments though, so brace yourself for another horticultural update. Stop moaning, you know you love it.

The Back Garden

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I had a couple of weeks off work at the end of last month and so took the opportunity to get down to some heavy labor in the back garden. For the past year or so I have been constructing a series of raised beds and paths in order to start growing vegetables next spring. The progress has been slow, partly because of restrictions of time and money, but mainly because I’m lazy. However, bit-by-bit the project has slowly come together and June saw the culmination of the last stage – the laying of gravel on the paths.

As you may know I live on at the end of an extremely narrow little lane, and I have been quite worried about how I was going to get the gravel delivered. Most suppliers use big lorries with huge lifting arms on the back to transfer the 1 ton bags from the truck to the ground. There is no way one of those monsters could fit down our drive.

Still, nothing ventured nothing gained. I wasn’t sure how much gravel I would actually need, and so I carefully measured up the area I needed to cover. I then consulted a number of online guides which each made recommendations that ranged between four and eight tons. Thinking six tons was a happy medium Kerry and I headed for a local builders merchants to see what they could do.

After discussion with the rather curt man behind the sales desk we were pleased to find out that they did have some smaller tipper trucks that would be able to fit down our drive. These only held 3.5 tons unfortunately, but that wasn’t really a problem. I could always go back and order some more.

So bright and early the next morning three and a half tons of gravel was dumped in our parking space and I began the laborious task of lugging it up the hill in buckets. As the day wore on I started to experience a mixture of emotions. Pleasure that the job was progressing much quicker than I had anticipated, and growing alarm that the huge pile of gravel didn’t appear to be going down at all.

I now have one and a half tons of excess sandstone gravel sitting on my drive and nowhere to put it.

What is the protocol for getting rid of left over gravel? Do you shovel it into black bags and hope the bin men don’t notice how heavy they are? Post it through the neighbor’s letterboxes? Give it away as prizes on your blog? I just don’t know.

The Front Garden

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Because of the rain I haven’t been out in the front garden as much as I should have, and as a result the slugs and snails have pretty much taken over. They have turned many of the sunflower leaves into skeletons, had a good go at the lettuces, and taken big whopping chunks out of my radishes.

Still, it’s not all doom and gloom. The tomatoes and the potatoes seem to be doing ok, and the first strawberries are starting to ripen. I have yet to sample one but Amy tells me they are “yummy”. The runner beans have suffered their fair share of slug attacks too, but appear to be pulling through. And the apples up the back are beginning to look rather juicy.

This year has been a trial run really, my true vegetable adventures will start next year when my raised beds swing into action. But it’s been fun so far and I’ve managed to eat a few things from the garden, which is always nice.

I wonder if gravel would be edible if you boiled it long enough?

Other People’s Gardens

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When I first wrote about planting our potatoes in old car tyres Kerry’s friend Katherine left a comment saying she was going to have ago at doing the same thing. A few weeks ago she sent us a picture of her efforts. Judging by the size of the plants I’m assuming it was taken earlier on in the year. If they are anything like ours they will have had a tremendous growth spurt over the last couple of months, and have now probably taken over her entire house.

Elsewhere on the web, Lee from Urban Cultivation and Quit Your Day Job has recently made a pasta sauce from the produce he has grown in his garden. All he is missing is a few chives.