My sister’s favorite film is Chicken Run. Or at least it was last time I discussed such things with her, which granted was around seven years ago now.
To be honest she may have moved on by now, but I am loathe to ask as whatever she designates as good I am duty bound to pore scorn and derision on. There is always the risk, however small, that she may have switched her allegiance to something really cool like Iron Man or Batman Begins, and I really don’t want to have to start hating hose movies.
So my sister likes Chicken Run and therefor, by default, I don’t. But now even if I she didn’t I’d still hold a grudge against Nick Park and his plasticine Gallus gallus domesticus (that’s Latin for chicken don’t you know). I’m pretty sure my chickens have been sneaking into the house and sticking it in the DVD player whilst we’re asleep.
We’ve already established that my chicken’s, lead by the dastardly yet charismatic Beryl, are plotting to take over the world. But now they seem to be getting bolder. Not only are they jumping the fence into next doors garden, but I am regularly finding them destroying the shrubbery of gardens two, or even three, doors down.
At this rate of expansion they will be catching the train into Manchester by the end of the month. Just look at the little buggers trying to figure out how to drive the car.
The charismatic Beryl (or “the white one”) may be the leader of the Sinister Six, but it’s the one named Evel Knievel who is the chair of the escape committee. It’s her who devises the elaborate plots to foil my intricate state of the art containment systems (bits of wire nailed to bits of wood). She is the Q to Beryl’s Bond, and as such must never be underestimated.
Just look at her. She even looks like an evil genius. Have you ever seen such a unattractive chicken in your life?
I saw yesterday that The Holmes is about to take the leap into chicken ownership. Perhaps we both need to get in contact with John. Maybe one of his chicken keeping courses cover how to handle birds bent on world domination.
