While the traditional methods of pistols at dawn has fallen out of favour, the gentlemanly pursuit of duelling is still alive and well in modern society. Just take the infamous Atomic Wing Sauce face-off between myself and Greg this April
The rutting stags clash
So given that Ian, from Single Parent Dad, and I are both blogging about our attempts to lose weight at the moment it was pretty inevitable that a gauntlet would be thrown down at some point. And sure enough the challenge has been made.
The contest is now on. The first to lose a stone (14lb) will be declared the champion and all time conqueror of the Universe. Unless it’s him of course, and then I’ll say I wasn’t really trying and it was a stupid contest in the first place.
The contest officially started yesterday, and this morning I’d already lost a pound. Oh yeah, read ‘em and weep porky boy. Of course I’ll probably put two back on tomorrow, but still – it’s looking good so far.
Originally I’d set a prize of the winner being able to take over the loser’s blog for a week. But as Ian pointed out, that sounds more like a penance than a reward. Any suggestions about what the winner should get would be gratefully received. Also if anyone else want’s to join in and make this a sort of league thing then they would be more than welcome
But before you commit, you should know that I have a secret weapon in my arsenal. Because this weekend I had two epiphanies, not one. Not only did I resolve to restart my diet, but I also decided to embark on yet another great adventure.
I have been inspired by the delightful, if not a little unhinged, Erin; who recently kicked off her training for the Hadrian’s Walk by doing something that is twenty times harder than the walk itself. Erin did a triathlon, which as far as I’m aware is actually sufficient grounds for her to be sectioned under the Mental Health act over here. Personally I refuse to do anteing that involves me breaking into anything faster than a moderately paced walk; but never-the-less I’m going to push myself to my physical limits.
I’m going to do the Yorkshire Three Peak Challenge. This is a 25 mile long circular walk that visits the summits of three mountains: Whernside, Ingleborough, and Pen-y-ghent. The total ascent and descent of the walk is 5,249ft.
Obviously I’ll need to get very fit for this one. Walking 25 miles along the flat would be hard enough, never mind sticking three bloody great big hills in the middle. You’d be a fool to do this without months of preparation and training.
I’m doing it next Sunday.
You see the challenge dictates that you need to walk the circuit in under twelve hours and I suspect I’ll. need every second of that time. With winter approaching the days are becoming shorter, and leaving it later than next week would mean there wouldn’t be enough daylight to attempt it. As it is I’ll. be pushing it (with dawn to sunset only being 11 hours, plus and additional half an hour of twilight either side of that).
Of course my brother Sam recently did it in 8.5 hours, but then again he is a stupidly overfit man so it doesn’t count.
I have thrown in a few safety factors however. I’m not going alone for a start, my friend Dave is coming too (everyone should have a sidekick called Dave in my opinion). We’re also going to be a bit realistic about our prospects and if at the top of the second hill it looks like we’ll be struggling to finish before it gets dark then we’ll call it a day. But never the less it’s a pretty risky endeavour for a couple of chubby blokes with only a vague understanding of how to read a map.
So you see Ian, there is no way you are going to win this contest now. Because do you know how quickly a corpse of a lost and exhausted walker decomposes on the bleak moorlands of the Yorkshire Dales? Pretty damn quick, that’s how. Throw in a couple of crows and foxes gnawing at the rotting body and the lbs start flying off. And the rules of this little contest make no stipulation about the contestants being alive do they. Ha! In your face!
Let the contest begin.
