All that comes with it

James over at Luke, I Am Your Father (who incidentally wins my prize for best daddyblog name) has very graciously given me a Kick Ass Blogger award.

And it’s about time too damnit! For the past couple of days or so I’ve been watching my entire blogroll get this award. Whit, Ed, Xbox, Darren, VegasDad, Matthew, Brandon, PG, Jim; they’re all bloody at it.

For a while I got excited when I saw the name “Dan” on VegasDad’s list of nominees, only to discover it was for a blog called Daddy Dan. Daddy Dan? Who is this impostor? Oh… he’s a witty and engaging blogger (must be something about the name I guess). Still my point stands. Why haven’t I got one of these awards sooner?

After all, I think we can all agree I’m pretty much the dictionary definition of a kick ass blogger. Let’s consider the evidence:

• I liberally interchange the words “their” and “there” freely and with reckless abandon, proving to everyone that I am a rebel with little regard for the so called “grammatical rules” laid out by The Man. (the same applies for my revolutionary and innovative use of the comma in it’s)
• I set competitions on my blog and then forget to mail out the prizes to people, therefore lengthening indefinitely that delightful “I hope it comes today” sense of anticipation every time the winners check their mailboxes.
• I pester my readers to give me money more often than any other blog on the internet.
• I haven’t sorted out my blogroll yet, despite the fact that it has been several months since it disappeared after a wordpress upgrade. This gives me a sophisticated and tantalizing air of mystery. No one knows who I read and therefore my comments on other’s blogs come as if out of the ether. I am the Scarlet Pimpernel of the blogging world
• I have yet to post a picture of my testicles on my blog.

A pretty compelling list of arguments I think you’ll agree.

So, in order to redress the balance I contemplated the option that instead of giving out Kick Ass Blogger awards to five other bloggers I should instead give them all to myself. After all, I’m worth it.

What’s more if I received five more Kick Ass Blogger awards that means I would have 25 further awards to hand out. If I gave those to myself too then I’d have a hunderd and twenty five awards. And if I repeated the process I’d get six hundred and twenty five, then three thousand one hundred and twenty five, then fifteen thousand six hundred and twenty five.

By my calculations, after thirty two award giving cycles I would own the entire internet. Tremble puny mortals beneath my might.

But I am a benign god, and so I shall forsake this opportunity to take over the world and instead show my magnanimity to the less fortunate. I therefore present the following people with an award.

• Sam from Rabbit Confused with Raisins - Because he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother. And he happens to have a rather good blog too.
• Rol from Sunset over Slawit - Because the very prospect of receiving something called a Kick Ass Blogger Award will probably make him physically nauseous.
• Lee from Quit Your Day Job - Because everyone needs an antipodean pop culture guru.
• Dan from Cafe Leone - Because he’s going through a bad time at the moment and us Dans have to stick together (you hear that Daddy Dan? You’re part of the fraternity now)
• Jo from Jo Beaufoix - Because she’s a damn good writer, even if I can’t pronounce her surname.

Use your new found awards wisely.

A long time ago in a country far, far away the delightful Ms CamiKaos tagged me with a meme. Unfortunately I became far too carried away with blogging about He-Man and My Little Pony and other earth shattering topics and so it was placed on the back burner.

However I’ve never been one to pass up an opportunity to talk about myself. Behold, the 8 things meme.

8 things I am passionate about
My family
Consuming comedy
Anti-bullying
Left wing politics
Minimization of streaming schoolchildren by “ability”
Reading and writing blogs
Not being bored

8 Things I want to do before I die
Live long enough that my children can cope with my death
Grow old with Kerry
Live for a while in another country
Make a great train journey
Improve my writing and my photography
Make a difference
Never feel lonely
Create something wonderful

8 Things I say often
Marvelous
Jolly good
Arse
Sweetheart
Banana bonce
I’m just going to check my emails
Evan, no biting!
Grrrrrah

8 books I have read recently
The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid - Bill Bryson
Lower Regions - Alex Robinson
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen - Paul Torday
Things can only get better - John O’Farrell
Born to be riled - Jeremy Clarkson
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - JK Rowling
The complete Father Brown stories - G.K. Chesterton
The last days of Newgate - Andrew Pepper

8 songs I could listen to over and over again
Songs of Love - Ben Folds
Garden Song - John Denver and the Muppets
Moving to LA - Art Brut
Brian Wilson - Barenaked Ladies
Don’t Dream it’s Over - Crowded House
Pop Singer’s Fear of the Pollen Count - Divine Comedy
Good Man - Josh Ritter
At my Most Beautiful - REM

8 Things that attract me to my best friends
Sense of humor
Intelligence
Liberal outlook
Reliability
Conversationalist
None competitiveness
Emotional stability
Worship the ground I walk on

8 people who should totally do this meme
Deb
Paul
Kerry
Dan
Jeff (the other Jeff, not this Jeff)
Tracy
Kristina
Sam

Dan Leone tagged me to post a screen capture of my desktop. Well he showed me his, so I’ll show him mine:

Hardly the most thrilling of images I admit. But I rarely pass over the opportunity to talk about myself here on the blog, so I shall give you the guided tour.

On the bottom left you will notice a stack of pdf files which contain swimming pool timetables. I have a friend that used to work as a lifeguard at a local baths. He told me that they only change the water once every six months. Using my own behavior as a child as a rough guide, I estimate that by around the fifth month the pool is approximately 68% child urine. Despite this knowledge we actually go swimming quite a bit.

On the bottom right you will see a stray folder of photos from our recent trip to Blackpool which I haven’t got round to filing properly yet. My archiving system consists of shoving all the unsorted and unedited photos onto an external hard drive once every couple of months or so. I have this vague notion that I will go through it and sort them all properly at some mystical point in the future when I “have more time”. I intend to do this right after I’ve mended all the holes in my socks and sorted out the “bits and bobs” drawer in the kitchen.

And finally, hovering in the left of center is my iChat window, ever optimistically open just in case someone lowers themselves to IM me. Incidentally any of the regular readers is more than welcome to add me to their contact lists should they see fit. I am on AIM and my username is dghughes28 (yes I know giving that out is almost a direct contradiction to my previous statements about becoming more anonymous; but I want to feel popular damnit).

For anyone who wants to replicate my magnificent taste in desktop wallpaper, you can find a lot of great ones here.

So now for the tags:

• Paul. Because he was whittering on about how great his computer was in the pub the other night.
• Lee. Because I want to settle a bet with myself surrounding whether he has Aquaman or Captain Kirk wallpaper
• Mr Fabulous. Because I dread to think (and like to aim high on occasion).
• Jeff. Because I know he’s always up for a good meme.
• Henry. Because I still owe him some questions and feel very guilty.

And of course you, if you fancy it. Here is the cut an paste instructions should you need a guide:

Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop. You can do a screen capture by:

On a PC

1. Going to your desktop and pressing the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).
2. Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).
3. If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it.

On a Mac:

1. Open Grab (located in /Applications/Utilities).
2. Choose Capture > Screen.
3. When the Screen Grab dialog opens, click outside that window.

My brother over at Rabbits Confused with Raisins has tagged me with a meme of his own creation, the Go Go Gadget meme. As he is leaving the country shortly I thought I would lower myself to acknowledging his existence just this once. And anyway, I’ve been running dry on post ideas recently.

All Sam’s gadget choices revolve around running up mountains, hurling yourself down hillsides, or other distressingly strenuous activities. My choices rather unsurprisingly are much more sedentary in nature.

The questions are:

1. What is the most pointless gadget you have?
2. What is the most useful gadget you have?
3. What is your biggest gadget extravagance?
4. What is your favourite gadget?

Most pointless gadget: Ice cream maker

I bought this around four years ago, and for some reason still haven’t thrown it out. In theory the maker slowly stirs your raw ice cream ingredients while the cold from it’s inner bowl freezes it (therefore avoiding the formation of ice crystals). In reality however the mixture merely turns from a lukewarm liquid into a slightly colder liquid. Every time I use the thing it is the same: I start of with optimism and enthusiasm, eager to launch my new rhubarb and artichoke ice cream on the waiting world. But after half an hour of watching the damn thing slowly and ineffectually stir the concoction I invariably declare a pox on the whole affair and just shove it in the freezer.
Mmmm, crunchy ice crystals.

Most useful gadget: Macbook

I’ve waxed lyrical over the superiority of Macs before, so I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice to say that it’s reluctance to crash, intuitive usability, and silky smooth looks has made me an Apple convert. And due to the wonders of wireless networking I can comment on all your blogs while sitting on the toilet. Marvelous stuff.

Biggest gadget extravagance: iPod

Damn you Coca-Cola, your win an iPod contest awoke a desire in me that had been long dormant. The worst thing is that I already had a 30gb mp3 player before getting the iPod, but the integration with iTunes and the video facility proved too much of a temptation. In my defense I have used it even more than I had anticipated I would. The ability to watch my own choice of viewing at work rather than the soaps my colleagues insist upon is invaluable. I also use it a lot in the car, although tend to stick to music and podcasts as the police tend to frown upon watching feature length episodes of Poirot while driving.
Of course Apple launched a brand new improved iPod just weeks after I had shelled out my hard earned cash on one. But such things are all part of the hazard of being me.

Favorite gadget: Canon 350D

Kerry has been into photography for a while, she even dabbled in professional wedding photography for a couple of years. But it wasn’t until she bought a digital SLR that I took any interest. Developing photographic film is very expensive, and as my good shots to utter crap ratio is roughly 1/150 I always reasoned I was financially better off staying away from the hobby.
Digital changed all that of course, it doesn’t matter how many duff photos you take as can just delete them. Not wishing to blow my own trumpet, but I think I’ve taken to photography rather well. I still don’t fully understand concepts like aperture and light metering. And I admit I have the camera set on the easy half of the dial 80% of the time. But I’ve taken a few shots that I’ve been proud of. I also thoroughly enjoy myself and that’s the main thing.

I tag Dan Leone, The Chick, and Lee. As usual I won’t be at all offended if you choose to ignore the tag.

I’m bored with spewing out dull trivialities about myself, probably nearly as bored as you are with reading them. However there is still one day left of the International Week of the Meme and so I thought that instead of subjecting you to more narcissistic prattling I’d subject you to some half arsed amateur anthropology instead.

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The word meme was first used by the biologist Richard Dawkins in order to describe the way units of cultural information (such as catchphrases, fashions, and manufacturing styles and techniques) pass from one mind to another. The theory is that memes evolve in a similar manner as natural selection, some ideas are unpopular and so become extinct, others capture popular imagination and so evolve and mutate.

The word meme itself can be seen as an example of this. From its relatively obscure beginnings in 1976 it has risen to become a prominent concept in the collective consciousness, particularly within the online community. The internet is the perfect environment for the propagation of memes. Information flies back and forth over the globe and videos, animations, and jokes can find world wide fame in mere days.

Examples of popular internet memes:

• Star Wars Kid
• Chocolate Rain
• Chuck Norris Facts
• Numa Numa
• LOL Cats
• Hamster Dance

But to us bloggers the word meme has evolved to mean something a little different than “a unit of cultural information”. In her classic haiku “How Sweet The Honey”, esteemed Melbourne poet Ameila Walker shifts the very origin of the word (originally an abbreviation of the Greek for “something imitated”: mimeme) to a self obsessed plea for attention: the MeMe!. The urban dictionary claim this sort of meme is actually called a bleme, but this isn’t a term in widespread use.

The MeMe is often in the form of an interview of sorts, a set of questions providing a structure to work to. They are spread by tags, a form of social grooming for the internet age.

Some examples of bloggers posting MeMes

• Thinking Blogger Award - Honea Express
• My Five Obsessions - Phantom Kitty
• Seven Random Facts - A Family Runs Through It
• Fifty Five Questions - Americanmum
• Post Resurrection - Cafe Leone
• Interview Me - Island Girl
• Seven Things I Dig About Whit - ImPerceptibility
• What were you doing… - LA Daddy
• The Power of Schmooze - People in the Sun
• Five Questions - Quit Your Day Job
• Birth - School - Work - Death - Relaxed Parents
• Ten Years Ago - Sink Into The Pacific
• Five Things I Dig About Jesus - The Holmes
• Four Things - View From the Cloud.

* Not all blogs I regularly visit are on this list, just a cross sample and does not represent any kind of preference. If you feel you’ve been left you out and you are offended then I’m sorry.

Strangely enough Wikipedia has nothing to say about MeMes or blemes despite the fact they are an extremely common phenomena across the blogging community. Many people look down on them, considering them a lazy or trivial way of filling space for the chronically uninspired. Perhaps some of this snobbism is due to their proliferation on sites such as Myspace, often seen as the bottom echelon of blogging culture.

These negative attitudes are a little unfair. While it is true that a blog consisting purely of them is a rather dull read, used in moderation MeMes can be both interesting and a positive communal force; providing positive strokes for people who are tagged, and giving us all an opportunity to talk about our ten favourite films with dwarfs in them, or 5 reasons why we like sausages.

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And that just about wraps it up for the Week of the Meme. You can look forward to a return of the usual old claptrap on Monday.