Archive for the 'Lists' Category

Five, four

Continuing my countdown of the Top Ten TV shows ever made.

5: Dad’s Army

I have come to the conclusion that Dwayne is a witch. Or possibly a warlock. How else can you explain his uncanny ability to predict that Dad’s Army would make an appearance in my Top Ten TV list? I suggest we burn him at the stake immediately.

Few Americans have even heard of Dad’s Army. Yet most have had regular exposure to Benny Hill and Are You Being Served. For this reason alone I am surprised we have not yet been the subject of a US retaliatory strike. Although I suppose you did send us America’s Next Top Model (which as far as I’m aware is actually against the Geneva Convention)

In a nutshell, Dad’s Arm follows the exploits of a group of Home Guard, a volunteer force in the Second World War who were either too old or too young for enlistment in the regular army, but undertook training in order to assist in repelling invasion (which at times was an extremely real threat).

The show, made in the 1970’s, the very definition of an ensemble comedy. Its wonderful characters are still beloved by the nation thirty years after the last program was made. Captain Mainwaring, Sergeant Wilson, Lance-Corporal Jones, and Privates Walker, Pike, Frazer and Godfrey. Each one was fantastically drawn and masterfully portrayed by a cast of A-list veteran actors.

Dad’s Army is real Sunday teatime viewing. Gentle and innocent without the bite of more modern comedy. But that doesn’t make it any less funny. At times it has made me laugh so hard that I was in physical pain. There is no greater compliment than that.

While searching on the youtube for a decent clip to put up I came accross this spoof which made me chuckle.

4: Jeeves and Wooster

If this list was Top Ten Books rather than Top Ten TV Shows then I can guarantee that a PG Wodehouse novel would be in slots one through to nine (with the number ten position going to Christopher Brookmyre’s Country of the Blind). Wodehouse was simply a comic genius, and Jeeves and Wooster were amongst his finest creations.

Of course the transfer to television of any book is problematic, and the TV version of Jeeves and Wooster only captures about half of the sheer joy of Wodehouse’s work. The thing that’s missing is Wodehouse’s sparkling prose. Hints of it emerge in dialog and the character names (Barmy Fotheringay-Phipps and Gussie Fink-Nottle to name but two), but you really do have to read the books to get the full effect. The fact that the TV still reaches number four in my list just testifies to the overwhelming wonderfulness of the original source material.

But as much as I’m tempted, I must resist turning this into a seven thousand word essay on the genius of PG Wodehouse. I am supposed to be talking about the telly.

The show itself could not have been better cast. America may have just discovered Hugh Laurie, but we had him first. At the time he appeared born to play the role of Bertie Wooster, but now with the advent of House we realise he was just born to play any role at all. Stephen Fry, who is possibly the most beloved man in England these days, was also magnificent as Jeeves.

The production values were very high as well. The shows are often an amalgamation of two or three Wodehouse short stories but have been joined together almost seamlessly. And, unlike in Poirot, the producers avoid ramming art deco sets and locations down the viewers throat at every single opportunity.

You can get all four seasons of Jeeves and Wooster from Amazon for just £22.97. At that price you’d be a jolly fool not to. Pip pip and tinkerty tonk.

Six

Continuing my countdown of the Top Ten TV shows ever made.

6: The Muppet Show

I still remember where I was on May 16th 1990, the day Jim Henson died. My English class was participating in a special journalism day. We had been excused all other lessons and were busy writing our own newspaper. As is usually the case in modern media, our investigative journalism went only so far as listening to the news on the radio and copying whatever stories they went with.

I think it was just after lunch when they announced Henson had died. It affected me profoundly. The muppets were a huge part of my cultural landscape growing up, and each of it’s wonderful characters were tattooed on my soul. When we got our first VHS video recorder I carefully recorded every episode and watched them over and over until the tape wore out (a level of dedication which would not be repeated until my teenage years when I developed a healthy preoccupation with certain parts of the film “Weird Science”).

By all accounts Henson was a gentle and peaceful man, and this was reflected in his creative output. Even the briefest analysis of the Muppets reveals an underlying beauty and warmth which has rarely been seen since it passed. And the show was bloody funny too. Henson’s long time partner in puppetry, Frank Oz, was a exceptionally skilled comic and his creations; Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear to name but two; are worthy additions to any comedy hall of fame.

I wrote Jim Henson’s obituary that day, and had to pretend to my classmates that I wasn’t crying while I did it. Looking him up on wikipedia I’ve discovered that he died of streptococcus pneumonia, the same disease that took Joseph. Somehow that means something to me, but I’m not sure what.

His creations live on of course, now owned by the Disney corporation. And while they still exhibit the odd flashes of brilliance (Muppets from Space), they are now merely puppets. The life force has somehow been sucked out of them. If you have time take a look at this account of Jim Henson’s funeral. If it doesn’t bring a lump to your throat then nothing will.

Dec 24 25

I’m a little late with my final advent entry. A combination of not being able to get off work early, Christmas parties, and present wrapping meant that blogging had to be shifted down the priorities list yesterday.

Still, I couldn’t leave the series without doing:


[Open the door / Close the door]

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

“By the power of Greyskull”

Not to be confused with He Man (何曼), a chinese military commander in the peasant rebellion against the Han dynasty in 220AD (it’s true, look it up). No, this is something far more significant than a legendary chinese rebel who’s name has managed to live on throughout nearly two thousand years of history. We’re talking Saturday morning TV here. We’re talking shoddy poor quality animation. We’re talking a cultural phenomenon that still resounds today in the very soul of the entire globe (providing the globe consists purely of Western males between the ages of 25 and 35 that is). We’re talking He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

I am Adam, Prince of Eternia, Defender of the Secrets of Castle Greyskull. This is Kringer, my fearless friend.  Fabulous, secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: “By the Power of Greyskull!”

He-Man, He-Man . . . I have the power!

Kringer became the mighty BattleCat and I became He-Man, the most powerful man in the Universe!  Only three others share this secret . . .  Our friends the Sorceress, Man-at-Arms, and Orko.  Together we defend Castle Greyskull from the evil forces of Skeletor. . . . He-Man!

If that quote didn’t provoke a well of nostalgia bubbling up in your heart then you are clinically dead. Well, either dead or you’re not in that western male 25-35 year old demographic (you freak). He-Man was the king of the toy marketing cartoons, rivaled perhaps only by Transformers.

The toys were originally designed as a line for Conan the Barbarian in order to tie in with the 1982 Schwarzenegger film, but Mattel got cold feet about the sex and violence associated with Conan and decided to use the toys for something else. And boy were we glad they did. I even have it on relatively good authority that they stand up to repeated viewing even twenty years later, although I have my doubts about that. However I did sneak a couple of episodes from the Thundercats DVD I got my brother for Christmas and found them surprisingly enjoyable, so you never know.

A live action He-Man movie is rumored to be in pre-production for a release in 2009.

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So that’s it, the end of the All That Comes With It advent colander. You can all start reading the blog again now.

Dec 23


[Open the door / Close the door]

My Little Pony

“I love you my little pony”

The My little Pony cartoon series was based on the toys produced by Hasbro.  It was set in the mystical world of Ponyland where the three different types of ponies (Earth Ponies, Pegasus Ponies, and Unicorns) frolicked in the woods and fields of their home, Paradise Estates.  It featured ponies such as Peach Blossom, Rosedust, Northstar and…
 
It’s no good, I just can’t do it.  I just can’t sully my blog with this complete claptrap. In the 80’s the boys got Thundercats and Transformers, and all the girls got Care Bears and My Little Pony. That hardly seems fair.  What happened to equality of the sexes?  Did Florence Nightingale die in vain!?  I am surprised that there wasn’t a uprising in the streets.  Forget burning bras, people should be burning their Barbies.
 
I did discover some interesting things though.  Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, played a number of different parts in the show.  In fact by doing  this series on cartoons of the 80’s I’ve been amazed by the number of voice actors that keep cropping up over and over again.  I suppose it was inevitable given that many of the programs were created by the same production studios.
 
So anyway, tomorrow is the last day of advent and so there is only one more cartoon to go.  Any guesses? i’ll give you a clue, it was responsible for one of the funniest lines in Hot Fuzz

Dec 22


[Open the door / Close the door]

GI Joe

“G. I. Joe . . .  A Real American Hero  G. I. Joe is there”

The chronically American among you might be surprised to discover that we did not have GI Joe in the UK. Instead we had the vastly superior Action Man. Essentially they were exactly the same thing, but with different names. The reason for this is that GI isn’t a military term over here. In fact the only thing I can think of that uses that particular acronym is Gastro Intestinal which, on the whole, isn’t the best theme for a line of children’s toys.

I’ve a vague recollection of seeing the cartoon on the odd Saturday morning, but it never really glued itself to my consciousness. After it began airing over here Hasbro did bring out a range of 3 3/4 inch high American style action figures, but again I can’t really remember them being very popular.

Apparently there is GI Joe film being produced and scheduled for release in 2009. That’s all well and good, but when is the Visionaries vs Centurions movie that the public are clamoring for going to be produced??

Dec 21


[Open the door / Close the door]

Thundercats

“Thunder, thunder, thunder, Thundercats Ho!”
 
It’s the home stretch now, so it’s time to break out the big guns.  Thundercats ran for five seasons between 1985 and 1990.  The program followed the adventures of a band of refugees who have fled the dying world of Thundera and crash landed on Third Earth.  There they battled the evil Mumm-Ra and his allies the Mutants as well as various space pirates and other random baddies.
 
The show followed the formula of many of its ilk.  Multiple characters in order to allow a large range of toys, a main protagonist who is an inexperienced yet heroic young male,  a comedy sidekick (snarf snarf), and, while there was lots of violence, there was no bloodshed.
 
Lion-O, Tygra, Panthro, Cheetara, and Wilykit & Wilykat.  Heroes each and every one of them.  Personally my favourite always fluctuated between Panthro and Wilykit & Wilykat, but there are many amongst my generation who cite Cheetara as a big… influence on their youth.  However I was never that keen on Lion-O; as far as I could make out his entire power consisted of calling the other Thundercats to bail him out whatever trouble he had blundered into.  If I were one of the team (I see myself as a bit of a Housecatara) I’d tell his where to stick his bloody Sword of Thundera.

Apparently there will be a CGI Thundercats film released in 2008. Jolly good!

Dec 20


[Open the door / Close the door]

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Night

“Whispered secrets of a shattered age, I summon you: renew this sage!”

Another one which I’m guessing will cause a few of you to go huh? Visionaries was set in a futuristic alternative dimension where technology had failed and the second age of magic had just begun. A group of knights set off on a quest to conquer Iron Mountain and be granted magical powers by mystical Merklynn the Wizard. Quite where they got the knights from at such short notice I’m not quite sure, I’m not convinced our own current crop of knights in the UK would be much good on a quest. Although saying that, I’d pay good money to see Sir Elton John and Sir Tom Jones battle a fire breathing dragon or two.

Anyway, only fourteen knights succeeded in their quest and, by a strange quirk of fate, exactly half of them turned out to be good and the other half evil. The goodies named themselves the Spectral Knights and the baddies the Darkling Lords. Each knight had a hologramatic totem on their chest which acted both as the source of their power and also as a unique geeky selling point for the toys.

The series only lasted thirteen episodes, the toys were withdrawn within a year, and the comic book was cancelled after six issues. But it was bloody fantastic while it lasted. I think it was the faint air of King Arthur that appealed to me, I used to be a sucker for anything Arthurian. You can the entire series now on DVD for just £9.98. What the hell, I’m going to buy it goddamnit!

Dec 18


[Open the door / Close the door]

Beyblade

“Let it rip”

Does anyone actually know what on earth Bayblade is about? As far as I can tell it’s an entire cartoon devoted to trying to persuade children that old fashioned spinning tops are cool. What’s next, hopscotch? (actually interestingly enough hopscotch was created by Roman soldiers as a training exercise, so perhaps there is a cartoon in there somewhere after all).

Bayblade came onto the scene in 2001 and finally petered out in 2004. I’ve tried looking it up on the mighty wikipedia but to be honest I’m still pretty clueless. I think I’ve got a mental block when it comes to manga style TV shows (or should that be Anime? See, I can’t even get the name right). I blame Akira for befuddling the 13 year old me so badly that I get flashbacks every time I see a cartoon character with big eyes and no nose.

Anyway, Bayblade was a cartoon and also a line of toys so it still counts even if I don’t understand it.

Dec 17


[Open the door / Close the door]

Transformers

Robots in disguise

The Transformers have a pretty impressive pedigree. Jim Shooter, the then editor-in-chief of Marvel comics, had a large part to play in the creation of their mythology - not only inventing the Autobots and Decepticons but also providing a rough story outline. Acclaimed Batman writer and editor Dennis O’Neil also had input in naming the individual characters, but many of his suggestions were largely overuled by Hasbro executives (although he still retains credit for naming Optimus Prime). Perhaps it is the imput of such creative heavyweights that made the Transformers so enduring in popular culture. However comics legend Jack Kirby had input into the creation of the Centurions, a show that largely sunk without trace, so perhaps the theory does not really hold true.

My friend Paul would have you believe that Transformers: The Movie (1986) is the greatest film ever made. He states that the death of Optimus Prime was the very pinnacle of emotional storytelling and it still makes him weep to this day. I say that Paul is a big wet lettuce, but you have to admit the film had a pretty impressive cast for a kids cartoon: Orson Wells (in his last ever role), Eric Idle, Leonard Nimoy, and Judd Nelson to name but four.

I don’t know if the more recent film made Paul cry or not, although I suspect it didn’t. Personally I thought the movie was really good until the Transformers turned up - then it all got a bit pants. I don’t care what anyone says, Optimus Prime should not be sneaking around flowerbeds trying to hide from someone’s parents.

Dec 16


[Open the door / Close the door]

Care Bears

“Care Bear Stare”

The Care Bears were originally created by American Greetings for a line of birthday cards. The company are responsible for a number of other crimes against humanity (Strawberry Shortcake and The Get Along Gang to name but two). But it is for the likes of Funshine Bear, Love-a-lot Bear, and Tenderheart Bear that they will burn in eternal damnation.

I used to watch them a lot though, and even remember lusting after the Bedtime Bear playset, so perhaps I shall be joining American Greetings in their fiery torment.

My sister was a big Care Bear fan, and once got one for Christmas. However my parents had proven immune to the marketing machine and instead of getting her an official bear had instead bought a customized with her name sown on it’s belly. I’m not sure what powers the Megan Bear had, but I’m pretty sure they would have revolved around sleeping for 23 hours a day and an inability to hide it’s secret diary very well.