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Ducks

Burn Baby Burn

I spent the majority of today in the garden hitting things with hammers. And most enjoyable it was too.

Unfortunately we’ve recently lost a couple of chickens and a duck to the local fox, and so I decided my previously rather slack poultry containment efforts needed shoring up.

The aim isn’t particularly to keep foxes out – but to keep the bloody chickens and ducks in. The flock has been becoming far too canny in their escape efforts recently and have spent more time wandering the nearby fields and woods than in my garden. They even started not bothering coming back at night, which is when I think the fox attacks have been happening.

So now they have a reduced area to roam, but it’s a lot more secure. It’s a compromise between my free range principles and my responsibility to keep the birds safe.

The other rather gratifying thing to happen today was that I managed to burn that bloody pile of wood that’s been tormenting me for the past four months. It may have it’s own Facebook group, but that hasn’t stopped it becoming a pile of ash.

Granted it wasn’t actually me who burnt it – it was my neighbour who kindly let me hijack his bonfire. But the main thing is the bugger has gone! Gone I tell you!!

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Ahh… the sweet smell of closure.

Huston we have Duck Eggs

I found these in the duck shed yesterday morning, and another one there today.

Bloody marvelous!

In other news, the latest episode of Lee and Dan’s Midnight Movie Club Podcast is now out. This week we’re talking about the 1982 comedy Night Shift staring Batman, the Fonz and that woman from Cheers. I personally think it’s our best ever episode, although Lee is rather partial to our Rumble in the Bronx episode.

You can head over to the Midnight Movie Club to listen to it, subscribe in iTunes, or just click below:

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Chicken Wire

This morning I’ve spent a good couple of hours working on my garden fence. It seems the chickens and the ducks have banded together to form the A.D.F.E.C (Allied Domestic Fowl Escape Committee), and are working towards driving me into an early grave.

The chickens have somehow figured how to force the gate open, and the ducks have discovered the art of rooting around the base of the chicken-wire until they make a hole big enough to waddle through.

The bright side of this of course is that they are now wrecking next door’s garden rather than my own.

Still, it’s not a situation that can go on much longer. I’ve done what I can to plug the gaps with spare bits of wood and wire, but I’m fearful that the ultimate solution will have to involve expensive trips to various hardware shops.

Stupid birds

And On That Farm He Had A Duck

Yesterday I ventured into deepest darkest Wales in order to collect the ducks that John (of Going Gently fame) has donated to my miniature smallholding.

Here they are huddled together in hysterical panic in the corner of the converted wendyhouse which is their new home.

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Apparently this state of hysteria is not unusual in runner ducks. In fact it may well be their default setting. It’s a pretty big contrast to my placid fat hens, a couple of which are so languid that they let the kids stroke them rather than bother to get out of the way.

The ducks are currently undergoing a period of confinement in order to get them used to their sleeping quarters, so haven’t been let loose on the garden as yet. Evan did take an exploratory foray into their hut this afternoon to see if he could make friends with any of them. However the calcophany of panicked quacking he provoked soon saw him shoot for the exit.

“Why are they quacking so loud dad?!” he asked.

“Because, as John warned me when I asked for them, they are mad as a box of frogs”.

It was really great meeting John. He was a virgin to the blogger-meet-up experience, and so I feel honored to pop his cherry. Judging by his blog entry I think the whole thing freaked him out a little bit.

Meeting people you’ve followed online is a funny old thing. We all use the internet to project an airbrushed image of ourselves, and so meeting a blogger in person feels a bit like meeting their slightly less charismatic twin sibling. A bit like in Buffy the Vampire Slayer when Xander’s twin brother popped up on occasion – yeah, he looks sort of the same, but he had a funny shaped head.

Not that I felt that way with John I hasten to add. His head was perfectly normal shaped. But I’m sure he must have felt it with me (the current wild state of my beard alone is enough to send people running for the woods).

But it wasn’t just John I met. John’s tales of his various pets and livestock play such a big part in what makes his blog a fantastic read. So meeting Constance the bulldog, Boris the turkey, and Jesus the cockerel felt like meeting minor celebrities. I got the same little thrill from the encounter as I would attending a dinner party with the Chuckle Brothers and Michael Fish. Exciting stuff.

Cheers for the ducks John. You’re a good egg.

How to make Amy and Evan very excited

We were all rather thrilled to see over on John’s blog yesterday that the ducklings have hatched.

Seeing them there all cute and cuddly makes me feel a little regretful that I’m not shooting down to Wales this very minute to go pick them up. However the prospect of having to deal with the possibility of a surplus of males keeps the pangs from getting too strong. I’m very grateful to John for allowing me to leave them in his care for a month until their sex can be determined.

Plus, there’s that whole “shitting on their feet and flinging it all around the kitchen” thing he talks about. Yeah, I’m not sure that would go down too well.

With a quack quack here and a quack quack there

I made a conscious decision this year not to bother with the garden. What with training and fundraising for the walk I figured the last thing I needed was putting pressure on myself to maintain a bunch of cabbages too.

So I just fed and watered the chickens, collected the eggs, and pretty much ignored the jungle rapidly springing up around me. This is the tidiest section of it. Forgive the quality of the photo but it was taken in low light on my crappy phone camera:

Of course the fact my petrol strimmer gave up the ghost didn’t really help. There are large sections of my garden which are too undulating and wild to be tackled with a mere lawnmower. And once the nettles and the brambles realised I was not going to be hacking at them every couple of weeks they lost no time in reclaiming vast swathes in the name of mother nature.

I did plant some veg though, namely a couple of pumpkin plants which I knew would be both vigorous and prickly enough to dissuade the weeds and the eager beaks of the chickens. I also planted a load of strawberries in tyres in the front yard. This has worked really well and I intend extending my collection next year with all the triffid like runners that are sprouting the moment.

Also unbenown to me I had unwittingly planted some potatoes. Or rather the potatoes I had missed when i harvested them last year had planted themselves. Considering they were an unplanned crop and you aren’t actually supposed to plant spuds in the same place two years running I didn’t get too bad a haul.

So now that the walk is over and done with I can get back on with tending old McHughes farm. I spent a very enjoyable afternoon over the weekend hacking away at the undergrowth with my brand new petrol strimmer (ooo shiny!). And then I spent a slightly less enjoyable couple of hours wrestling with bindweed and nettles in my shrubberies. Things now look a fair bit better than they did.

Not that they will ever look actually good I hasten to add. We have a large garden, but it’s an awkward one. I carved it out over the space of four or five years from a bramble clogged hillside using only a petrol strimmer, a spade, a ton of cheap agricultural grade wood, and a complete lack of planning or forethought. It will never look anything other than “rustic”. And that’s on a good day.

Still, I’m rather proud of it. I can look at it and hand on heart say “I built that”.

But the most exciting thing going on in the garden is that I’m currently bidding for this on ebay:

To the ill informed this may look like a old bath, but you and I know better. It is a duckpond!

Yes, I’m getting Ducks! And it’s all thanks to the wonderful John Grey who is exceptionally generously incubating me some of his Indian runner duck eggs. Soon I will have three of these little beauties joining the chickens in destroying the garden

I am exceptionally excited.

Quack quack.