Author Archive for Dan

Interview with a fat man

Days until the walk: 4
Amount raised so far: £2202 (about $4404)
Number of day’s I’m going to be incapacitated when it’s over: 85

The mighty Whit has really been going the extra mile to publicize the walk this week. Not only has he blogged about it on his site, but he’s also arranged for us to be featured on Parentricity, Divine Caroline, and StrollerDerby.

He’s also interviewed me over at Discovering Dad, so if you’d like to read my blatherings then make sure you go over and take a look.

Also, keep an eye out over at DadCentric and The Father Life over the next few days as we might be popping up there as well.

Sick of us yet?

Needless to say, Whit is the triumphant winner of today’s Good Egg Award:

whit

In other news it looks like we definitely will be filming a video diary from the road. I had a chat with someone from ITV yesterday afternoon and it’s all sorted. Videos will be posted daily on the ITV local website (which I can’t seem to get the videos to work on at the moment but I’m sure that’s a problem up my end rather than theirs). It will all be a day behind in order to allow time to post the video back to them and for them to edit it, but it is still rather cool.

The videos will be various talking heads about how miserable we are interspersed with footage of the rain soaked Yorkshire Dales. They did say that if we could get footage of anyone falling into a river then we could possibly get onto You’ve Been Framed too, so my advice to my fellow hikers is don’t let me walk behind you on any bridges.

Yesterday Matthew suggested the idea of twittering from the road, so I’m going to try and set that up over the next couple of days. Anyone know if there is a way to actually put a twitter feed into the body of a blog post - that way I could post it up here and over on the Dales Walk blog so people could get a running commentary. I know you can do it in a sidebar, but I’ve never seen it in a blog’s main body. I’ll look into it.

My task for this weekend is to collect all the tents, equipment, and beer from the rest of the guys in order that Kerry can lug it all around for us. We may be stupid enough to try and walk 78 miles in 6 days, but we’re not stupid enough to try and carry our tents with us while we do it. Kerry has very generously offered to give up five days of her annual leave in order to drive all our gear from one sleeping point to another. No prizes for guessing who’s going to get my Good Egg Award tomorrow.

Receding eggs painted black

According to Yahoo the weather during our walk is going to be partly cloudy with highs of 21 degrees celsius and only a 10% chance of rain. I do realize that forecasters can only predict the weather for 48 hours ahead with any degree of accuracy, and anything further than that is pure guesswork. However I’m going to ignore that fact for the sake of my mental health.

Nice and cool with no rain is just about the ideal conditions for walking in my book, and if it ends up scorching hot or chucking it down then I’m going to sue the forecasters at Yahoo weather for every penny they have.

Fundraising continues to gallop ahead at a very satisfying speed. I’m just hoping it doesn’t slow down before we reach our £2500 target. Thanks to everyone who has donated so far. If you haven’t donated yet you can do so here.

Neil is currently in negotiations with the local TV station who are considering lending us a camera in order to do a video diary for their webpage. The idea would be that we’d mail a tape to them at the end of each day and they would edit it and put it on the front page of their website.

I’m not sure how interesting our video diary would actually be, and trying to stop Sandip from swearing on camera would probably take more energy than the walk itself. But it sounds like a fun idea. It’s still all up in the air at the moment so might not happen, but watch this space.

I’m giving out two good egg awards today. The first one goes to Morticia. Not only did she organize a fundraising event at her work which raised a rather significant amount of money, but she also managed to persuade a medical supplies company to donate a load of blister plasters to sooth our aching feet. Thanks Morticia, and I’m sorry that the walk coincides with your birthday and so Kerry and I can’t come to the party.

The second one goes to Jeff from View from the Cloud who is currently running a competition on his blog in support of the Joseph Salmon Trust. From the amount of comments he’s got it looks like I may have killed his blog. So please go over there and say hello even if you don’t donate anything.

I’m running out of good egg graphics and so I thought I’d post a couple of videos in the winner’s honor instead. The first one is of Jeff’s band The Receders. Our man is the one on the piano with funny sounds coming out of his mouth (I think he’s trying to sing or something). The second video alas doesn’t feature Morticia, but I think she’ll enjoy it just the same.


Jeff / Morticia
[
Back to the cover]

A good Greg

Oli has just emailed me pointing out that I am the top two results on google for “I’m a very sweaty man”. What he was doing googling that in the first place is entirely his own concern, and it would be remiss of us to speculate.

There are now six days left until we set off on the walk and the fundraising is going extremely well. On Sunday I mentioned that the total stood at £1394 ($2794); today it reads £1979 ($3965). Does anyone feel like giving us that extra little push to take us over £2000?

Again, my thanks go out to everyone who has donated. Your generosity has been fantastic.

Today’s good egg award goes to Greg Lee from Greg and Deb on the Web. Throughout the entire process of planning the walk he has been incredibly supportive and encouraging, but it is for his help with putting together the press releases that I’m particularly thanking him for.

He’ll no doubt say that he didn’t do anything, and that I’d done it all myself. But never-the-less the knowledge that someone who churns out that stuff for a living was looking over my press releases was very reassuring. Especially as he gave it me straight - when something needed changing he told me about it. So in celebration of his good eggness I am resurrecting the Greg rating system.

I give him 5 Gregs
5greg

Also thanks to Whit who wrote an excellent plug for the walk on his blog. Thanks man.

Which came first, the Jerry Chicken or the Good Egg?

Only 8 days left to go until the walk and for some strange reason I’m still unfit and overweight. I just don’t understand it, I’m drinking loads of Diet Coke so the pounds should be falling off me.

Today’s good egg award goes to Gary from Jerry Chicken who has put one of his fantastic watercolors on ebay All proceeds of the sale will go to the Joseph Salmon Trust. It’s too late to bid I’m afraid as it quite rightly sold within the hour. Still, there is always next time.

The man has talent I’m sure you’ll agree.

the-laureleb

Not only that, but he has also publicly announced that he’ll do an entire series paintings using photos we take whilst on the walk as a reference and sell those too.

As I say, a good egg. Unfortunately I don’t have a photo of Gary and so can’t honor him by sticking his head in an egg cup like I did for Avitable. I’m afraid he’ll have to make do with this picture I stole from the internet.

9301811_400x400

Thanks go also to Rol, Ed (Zoe’s dad), and (un)relaxeddad who have all given the walk a plug on their blogs today. Cheers guys. I especially liked Ed’s description of us as “Dan and his Lunatic Fringe” - I’m very tempted to get some t-shirts printed.

Put down the damn camera and pick me some strawberries!

IMG_2874

Amy, Evan, my mum and I went picking strawberries this morning. I had hoped that in the process of filling our little buckets the kids would consume enough fruit to enable me to forgo feeding them for at least a week. Strangely enough though they weren’t that interested in them. Perhaps they would rather harvest them from a more natural environment - like the supermarket.

The Dales Walk

It’s now only 10 days left to the Dales Walk and I have an aching knee, a bad back, and a growing sense of impending doom. But I’m also extremely excited.

I’d like to thank everyone who has donated money so far. Of the £1394 that we have raised nearly £900 of that has been through people responding to appeals on this blog. That’s around $1800 in pretend money. If you ever needed proof that the blogging world is a real community then you’ve got it right there. I’m humbled by people’s generosity.

You can find a list of everyone who has given here. I’m aware that I’ve missed some people out. This is not because I didn’t receive their donation, or because I don’t appreciate their contribution; it is because I have the organisational powers of a dead wombat. If I’ve missed you out drop me a line (dghughes28(at)yahoo.co.uk) and I’ll rectify things.

I’d also like to thank everyone who has mentioned the walk on their blogs. This has contributed greatly to the donations I’ve received and I am truly appreciative. Just off the top of my head I can list Phil, Whit, Xbox4Nappyrash, VegasDad, Jeff, Jo, NYCWD, Dave, Gail, Sam, and Gary. There are more, I just can’t think of them right now.

Special thanks go to Avitable who just today posted a competition on his blog, the prize of which is a donation to the walk in the winners name of $100. This goes on top of Avitable’s already extremely generous donation to the charity. He’s a good man and I have decided to honour him with my coveted Good Egg Award:

goodegg

If you haven’t donated already, then please consider doing so here. If you have already donated money but are looking for a way to help even further then you could possibly mention the walk on your blog or website (even if you’ve done it before). The more people know about it the greater the chance of attracting more donations.

Just to remind you, we are raising money for the Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity set up by my close friends Neil and Rachael in memory of their son who died at the age of three years old.

The Joseph Salmon Trust supports parents who have lost a child by providing financial assistance to those who need it most. This may be to help with funeral costs or to allow the self employed a break from work while they come to terms with their loss. Grieving families have enough to deal with without worries about where they will find the money to say goodbye to their child or pay the next electricity bill. Nothing we can do can make their situation better, but we can do something to stop it getting worse.

You can read more about the 78 mile walk we are doing here and here, or you can even listen to a radio interview Neil and I did for BBC Radio Leeds (it’s about a minute in).

 
icon for podpress  Standard Podcast [9:09m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (135)

There is still a lot of money to come in for the walk. Most of the participants are doing their fundraising offline, and so the final amount won’t be known until all the cash is counted. We’re pretty confident that we are going to break the £2000 ($4000) mark, but we’d love to get even more if possible.

Again thank you.

IMG_0472.JPG
A dedication to Joseph at Chester Zoo

And I’ll sit on the top deck of the bus

My grandparents used to live near a ford across a river, and every time we went down to visit them I used to beg my dad to drive through it. There was just something about deliberately driving through a river that really excited me. I imagined dramatic sprays of water sandwiching the car and the hushed awe of onlookers as they witnessed the bravery and dare-devilment of our Dukes of Hazzard like actions

Ninety nine percent of the time however my dad refused. He said the river was too swollen, we didn’t have time, he didn’t want to risk flooding the engine. All petty meaningless excuses in my eyes.

I swore to myself that when I was a grown up I would never pass up such an opportunity. That whenever I came across a ford I would drive through it at full speed with all my windows down. Preferably in a car painted to look like knightrider. In short, that I would be a god amongst men.

Two years ago I came close to realizing my ambition. Kerry, Amy and I were on holiday in Northumberland and we randomly stumbled across a ford while on a walk. I begged and pleaded Kerry to allow me to go and get the car and drive through it, but she refused. Those age old reasons of the swollen state of the river and the risk of flooding the engine thwarted my dreams once again.

Amy and I did get to walk through it though, but somehow it wasn’t the same.

IMG_1149

Fast forward to this Thursday. I was driving round the Yorkshire Dales scouting out the accommodation for the upcoming walk. I was trundling along quite happily when suddenly I rounded a corner and saw the road ahead disappear into a river, only to emerge glisteningly wet and triumphant on the other side. At last! My holy grail! A ford!

What’s more I was alone. There was no one around to spoil my fun. No one point out that last weekend England received as much rainfall last weekend as we usually do in the entire month. No one to remind me that only one hour ago I had walked along the bank of a river that looked like this:

IMG_2737

This was my golden chance. My opportunity to fulfill my life’s ambition. And I grasped it with both hands. Ignoring my sat-nav’s persistent voice instructing me to “Turn around when possible” I confidently drove into the water.

All was going well until half way through when my wheels started spinning. As if this wasn’t alarming enough the car began slowly sliding downstream. I tried to recall if being swept away by a river had ever been covered in my driving lessons, but all I could remember was rules about not honking your horn after ten pm. Hardly pertinent as it was only half past two.

Eventually I remembered some advice about driving on ice and started to put my foot slowly on and off the accelerator in order to try and get some grip. This seemed to do the job and, despite the back end of my car slowly swinging out to point downstream, I managed to gain some purchase and slowly drag the car towards the other side.

All in all the whole experience was rather unsettling, and not one I am particularly eager to repeat. So now, at some unspecified point in the future, when Amy and Evan are both imploring me to drive through a ford I can see myself refusing; citing concerns about the swollen nature of the river and the possibility of flooding the engine. I will betray the 10 year old me and the eternal circle will be once more be complete.

I’m still going to park at the very top of multistory car-parks however, even if it does mean I have to walk much further. There are some childhood promises you make to yourself that are just too sacred to break.

A trip to the Dales

It’s only twelve days now until our walk and my hopes of becoming super fit and loosing four stone in weight are fast diminishing. I could still do it though, all I need to do is start a gruelling exercise regime and go on a crash diet.

I’ll start Monday.

I’m planning on another big online donation drive at some point next week. If you haven’t already given then please consider doing so. Not only will you have the satisfaction of contributing to my pain and discomfort as I walk 78 miles in six days, But you will also be helping a really worthwhile cause.

I had a day off yesterday so I thought I would head off into the Dales just to make sure I knew how to get to our various bits of accommodation from the route. And I’m glad I did; it took me an hour and a half to work out how to get from the Dales Way to the campsite we will be staying at on the fourth night. I’m sure that this wouldn’t have gone down well if it had happened after a long tiring day of walking.

Sandip has expressed concerns about camping as he is a man who likes the luxuries in life. Just to calm his fears here is a photo I took of Holme Open Farm where we will be staying:

IMG_2819

Tee-he-he.

Never mind Sandip, the place we are staying on our first night is far more suited to your tastes:

IMG_2765

The Midnight Movie Club

I’ve just started reading Jpod by Douglas Coupland. The jury is still out on whether I like it or not. To be honest I haven’t really rated any of his books aside from Microserfs (which was bloody fantastic). His head is generally too firmly placed up his own arse for my tastes.

Still there is no denying that the first sentence in Jpod is possibly the best one ever written:

“Oh god, I feel like a refugee from a Douglas Coupland novel”

Pure genius.

My consumption of popular culture has increased quite dramatically recently. Not only have I started to read again, but I’ve also begun going to the cinema. In fact I’m doing it weekly.

Inspired by Lee and Rol’s rave reviews of the new Hulk movie I decided on impulse to catch a late night showing at the local multiplex. I enjoyed the experience so much that a new tradition was born. I am now the founding (and currently only) member of Dan’s Midnight Movie Club. The rules are quite simple; every Wednesday night at around 10pm I head off into the night and catch a movie on my own. There is no stipulation as to what genre the film has to be, but it must finish after the hour of midnight.

So far I’ve seen the Hulk and Wanted, and this Wednesday is either going to be Prince Caspian or Hancock depending on my whim.

There is something about watching a late night showing of a film. It’s almost like you’re cheating time. You’ve had your day. You’ve done your morning thing, your afternoon thing, and your evening thing, and now it’s time for bed. But wait! What’s this? Ka-blammy! You’ve fitted in an extra thing too! Take that conventional social norms! In your face mortality!

It is probably a very sad indictment of my current existence that such things excite me.

But is it though? Come on, doesn’t the idea appeal to you too? Why don’t you join me? Wednesday night down at the local multiplex, it doesn’t feel so expensive when you’re only buying one ticket. The rest of the cinema patrons may think you’re seeing the movie alone, but they couldn’t be more wrong. You’ll be seeing the movie alongside bloggers from all over the world.

So go see your film and then we can come back here and talk about it. Or why don’t we start our own blog reviewing them? You have to admit that The Midnight Movie Club is a damn fine catchy title for a website. Maybe this could be the next big thing. We could be bigger than Aint it Cool. Bigger than IMDB. Bigger than Google! We could all retire early! Buy houses in Bermuda!

I think I better go for a lie down

Angels with dirty faces

Some people, Xbox4Nappyrash and my own mother amongst them, have claimed that I am physically unable to take a photograph of Evan without him having some sort of grot or snot on his face.

To them I shay pish, piddle and pshaw. Keeping a one and a half year old boy smart, clean and presentable is as easy as icing a cake.

IMG_2713

(Is it me or is there something of The Joker about him? I shall endeavor to keep him away from red hoods and vats of chemicals)