As you probably know, last month we received a food parcel from Greg and Deb giving us a taster of the kinds of food that could be found in their pantry. At the risk of alienating both the Lee family and the entire of the USA this is what we thought:
By far Amyâ€™s favourite, although her short attention span when eating means that we still occasionally find partially eaten neglected stumps of Twizle squirreled away around the house.
Between us Amy and I managed to finish of a 1lb bag within around 3 days. The trick is to miss meals so you donâ€™t use up valuable stomach space.
Peanut butter and Jelly
Iâ€™ve always been a Sun-pat peanut butter man. With most foodstuffs Iâ€™m more than happy to accept supermarket own brand with no quibbles, but I insist on quality from my peanut butter.The packaging for Skippy peanut butter freaked me out a bit â€“ jars should be glass goddamn it. But there is no denying that itâ€™s good stuff. It was a lot less frothy and creamy than Sunpat, but in a good way.
The jelly (or jam as the civilised world calls it) won points even before I tasted it for coming in a handy container that doubles as a glass after the jelly is gone. However it lost points for being the first jar of jam that Iâ€™ve had to look for instructions on how to open, the lid pops off rather than screws I discovered after a puzzling five minutes.
Of course no jelly truly stands up to my own home made bilberry jam (the secret of the grittiness and strange aftertaste is not to bother taking the stalks off the berries).
Tacos are a standard in out house, indeed they are the traditional meal for the annual Eurovisionfest. To be honest we havenâ€™t tried these yet, but they are sitting in the cupboard waiting.
Reeseâ€™s Peanut butter cups
Good grief these were sweet! As far as I can tell they consist solely of refined sugar smeared with peanut butter. They were so sweet my teeth retreated behind my tongue. Gregg said that a lot of ex-pat Americans complain that they canâ€™t find these in England. The reason for this is probably our strict rules about chemical and biological weapons on domestic soil.
New Orleans style Red Beans and Rice
It is my sincere belief that Greg sent me this in a malicious and preconceived attempt to sabotage my status as Uber-husbandTM. After all, it is hard to put in a perfect performance as a husband and father when all you are able to do is sit on the toilet as gallons of fluid rushes out of your bowels. A little too graphic a description perhaps, but accurate.
They did taste nice, but perhaps I shouldnâ€™t have eaten the whole box by myself in one sitting.
I am a broken man. I have been introduced to the wondrous taste of Sâ€™mores Pop Tarts by a prophet from beyond the seas, only to have it whipped away from me by the barbaric English supermarkets that refuse to stock such delights. Damn them, damn their eyes.
I was going to make a tremendously witty remark such as â€œThey were really good, so good that I want sâ€™moreâ€, but then discovered this is what the word means anyway. Ho hum.
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
I was disproportionably excited at the prospect of eating a real life Kraft dinner, and the experience was everything I hoped and dreamed it would be â€“ a slightly bland but pleasant meal based around the premise that powdered dairy products are a Good Thing.
Kerry wasnâ€™t so keen but Amy and I wolfed it down.
Again I want to thank Greg and Deb for their generosity. Trying all this stuff was both fun and interesting. There were tears, but there was also laughter. I think I speak for the entire Hughes household when I say that the whole affair was a learning experience for us, and we are better and more rounded human beings as a result. Damn it, I promised myself I wouldnâ€™t cryâ€¦
A parcel was put in the post for the Lee family this morning. Iâ€™m sure I wonâ€™t miss the kidney I had to sell to pay for the postage.