How to make meringue:
Take the whites of two eggs and whisk until firm.
Add 4oz of caster sugar a tablespoon at a time, whisking for 3-4 seconds between each spoonful.
Drop a spoonful of the mixture onto parchment paper and place in an oven set to 200ºC for 90 minutes.
Hang on…. aren’t they meant to be white?
Or as Amy put it: “Hey! They look just like poo!”
It appears that my recipe book has a slight misprint. Apparently the temperature should have read 100ºC, not 200ºC. The idea that the reason my cooking tastes so bad might be due to the book I’m following rather than my slapdash culinary techniques is a new one on me. And I must admit I find it rather appealing. From now on, every time my cooking produces toxic waste rather than gourmet meals I shall place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the recipe writers.
Since starting this diet (another 9lb lost since I last updated you) I’ve been spending a lot of time in the kitchen. Cooking nutritious and healthy food takes a lot more time and effort than chucking a frozen pizza in the oven. Still, I’m enjoying it and it gives me a chance to take a break from the kids and listen to my mp3 player for a while.
Unfortunately, despite me trying to mix it up everything is starting to taste the same. A lot of the dishes I’m preparing are basically quorn, tomatoes and vecon. This combination is labeled by Slimming World as either curry, chili, bolognese, hot pot, or jambalay depending on what spices they tell you to stick in it. It’s like that Monty Python sketch where you can have anything you like as long as it’s spam.
I did make my own tomato ketchup the other day which is very exciting. It tastes horrific mind you and Kerry refuses to touch it; but I’m slowly making my way through the pint and a half of it – my digestion powered by pure principle and stubbornness.
I think I’m going to have another go at the meringues again tonight. They aren’t exactly on our diet, but I’m going to try replacing the sugar with sweetener and see what happens. It’s that kind of pioneering chemical experimentation that gave us so many of the things that we take for granted today.
If you hear of a nuclear explosion taking place in Huddersfield you know what’s happened.
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Obviously a F to C conversion problem (100 C equals about 200 F).
Still eating that quorn stuff, huh? I actually like tofu, but that “processed edible fungus” product sounds nasty.
What’s “vecon”? Is that like vegetable Spam?
JJ Daddy-Os last blog post..Song I can’t get out of my head #2 – "The Rip" by Portishead
Congrats on the 9 lbs. loss. I actually like getting in the kitchen and testing my culinary skills. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t, but in time you perfect your skills and can create some mighty fine meals.
VegasDads last blog post..weekend update
My diet has gone down the pan with the introduction of all things Italian lately. I must get back on the wagon again.
Does your diet allow for wine? Beer? Gin? Meths???
With all the Quorn, Vecon, and Soylent Green you have been eating lately, no wonder you have dropped another 9 pounds!
Congrats nontheless as it is 11 pounds more than I have lost…
Jamess last blog post..Finally!
I always thought meringue was just something you topped a pie with. I didn’t know you could make little poo snacks out of it.
I just buy mine from Asda!
Meringues are great for diets, as they have no fat in them and the calories are very low. I make a dessert with fruit and ice cream and crumble meringue on top. You could use low fat youghurt if you like the goddam awful stuff of course.
Would sweetner work? it’s not quite the same consistency is it? I’d just use normal sugar.
Remind me never to come to yours for tea!
gails last blog post..At risk of great offence
Yeah, stick to normal sugar for the meringues. They’re not on your diet list anyway.
I love the photograph. Reminds me very much of the stuff I’ve found on a food blog – http://www.latartinegourmade.com. Interesting recipes, accompanied by good quality photos. (I’ll be the first to admit that your photos aren’t quite as inspiring yet, but give it time (and use that bloody flash!))
I reckon next time you trim your beard (you do trim it from time to time, don’t you?) we won’t recognise you.
mmmm, looks just scrummy, I hope you ate them all.
A hangover from my diet last year is the fact that I stir fry everything now, when I say everything I mean onion, leek, tomato, pepper and mushroom to which is added diced chicken and then a choice of Nando’s sauces, sultana’s and/or pine nuts.
Sounds nice eh ?
Its what I’ve eaten every night since last November.
Garys last blog post..The Golf Course
Heh heh, sounds like my cooking. You could try that splendour stuff. It’s meant to be nice. :D
Jo Beaufoixs last blog post..Makes you want to wash your hands
9lb! Seriously impressive! Turds…er, kind of impressive in their own way…
(un)relaxeddads last blog post..Guilty conscience
JJ Daddy O – Vecon is a concentrated vegetable stock which obviously mustn’t have many calories as it’s used in bloody everything.
VegasDad – I don’t mind the cooking, it’s the tidying up afterwards I struggle with.
Penelope – Err, no. But you could always try cutting out food instead.
James – I put a couple back on the day after I wrote this if it’s any consolation to you.
Jeff – You can make little poo snacks out of anything. You just have to “process” it for a while (I think that is officially as crass as I’ve ever gotten)
Gail – Apparently sweetener does work, but I’m yet to try it.
Oli – That link doesn’t work for some reason.
Gary – I struggle with stir frying. I think I need a better wok.
Jo – Yeah, but you start to go off it about half way through the second packet.
(un)relaxeddad – Unfortunatly 9lb pales in significance to the amount I’ve got left to go.
Too bad you’re not following Atkin’s low-carb diet – I am an EXPERT on that approach and have many tasty recipes that really keep you from craving much of anything. But congrats on the 9 lbs (I thought you brits used “stones”) and sorry about the baking boo-boo.