Scientists (or to give them their tabloid newspaper name: “Boffins”) at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, are going to switch on their Large Hadron Collider tomorrow.
ITN report that the Collider is designed to:
smash particle beams together at close to the speed of light to create mini-versions of the explosion believed to have triggered the birth of the cosmos.
The BBC website go into much greater detail, talking about protons and Higgs bostons and dark matter. But after a while my brain started to go all fuzzy and I had to go for a lie down.
According to ITN (who are clearly a news provider of merit and distinction and would never go for a cheap sensationalist angle) the physicists in charge are “ignoring” critics who warn:
the experiment will create “black holes” of intense gravity that could implode the Earth, or that it will open the way for beings from another universe to invade through a “worm hole” in space-time.
Blimey!
On Radio Four this morning they reported that CERN made a statement saying that the chances of this happening were “very low”.
Very low? I think I would have preferred something like “non-existent” personally, but you can’t have everything.
Still, I think it’s worth the risk. Not because the experiment might uncover the secrets of the universe or anything like that. No, to be honest all that stuff makes my head swim. I think it’s worthwhile because this is just the kind of thing that is almost guaranteed to produce Earth’s first superhero.
Lets face it, with all those energy beams and black holes flying around all over the place one of them is bound to hit some mild mannered scientist and transform him into The Amazing Proton Man or something like that. I only hope they are vetting their employees properly. Knowing our luck it will be some bitter psychopath called Victor Von Death that gets hit instead.
This thing scares the crap out of me. Who cares really? If the Big Bang theory is correct, how does that help human kind in its current state. I can think of better things to spend a load of money on.
In case we all die tomorrow, I bid you farewell.
VegasDads last blog post..random act of posting
VegasDad - Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish
Ha, yes I think I might have preferred something a little more reassuring than “very low” as an answer to be honest.
I look forward to meeting our new superhuman overlords.
Kevin Spencers last blog post..Yeah, That Whole Mad Dogs & Englishman Thing…
That’s “Higgs Bosons”, related to muons, leptons, protons, etc. They’re all really tiny things that have been made up by Physics Professors to get grants and give them an excuse to flunk out undergrads.
Not to be confused with the Cylons who are waiting for us to kill ourselves so they can take over the planet.
JJ Daddy-Os last blog post..Favorite Blog du Jour - Photoshop Disasters
Completely thought CERN was made up for this book I read. Never occurred to me that it might be real.
Now I’m scared.
Nats last blog post..A moment at the kitchen table
Yikes…I shouldn’t have read this right before going to bed. Welcome to the nightmare zone, Large Hadron Collider
Brandons last blog post..Non-Fantasy Football Post: McCain Gets Barackroll’d
In case this is goodbye I want you to know- I’m the one that took your iTouch. I’m not sorry.
Whits last blog post..The Accidental Liberal
Damn you sold me Dan’s iTouch? Now I had to figure out whose “art” photos those were. Three words, “shave your bum”. Both of you.
Henris last blog post..Your First Day of PreSchool: Today You Are a Man
I was all for writing something profound and then Whit’s comment made me spit my tea!
Hey, maybe if you get zapped you could be Super Dan Man? You’ve already proved you can walk a squillion miles, who knows what else you could do! ;o)
Penelopes last blog post..Not one of my better days.
They can’t say no risk to the unknown though can they, and the red tops have just exploited that fact.
I watched a feature that included an interview with my favourite monocle wearer, Sir Patrick Moore. He said ‘of course you can’t say no risk, yet the risk is akin to the chances of Elvis landing an alien spaceship on the Loch Ness Monster’s back, in Basingstoke’. I might be taking a bit of a liberty with that, but it was a similar gist.
And he was on Gamemaster and everything.
SingleParentDads last blog post..Checkpoint 3.5
Kevin - I too welcome the superhuman overlords. May their rule be long and glorious.
JJ Daddy-O - Leptons? That’s a village near me! I knew it was quite small but…
Nat - Lets just thank got the NSA is fictional.
Brandon - It’s better than those evil flying monkeys you were dreaming about before I suppose.
Whit - I KNEW IT!
Henri - That wasn’t my bum. It was Kerry’s.
Penelope - Super Dan Man has a good ring to it. My powers would be emanating noxious fumes from my bottom and the super human ability not to wash for months on end.
SingleParentdad - Oh I know. I was only messing about. In actual fact they are only sending one beam around today. They intend to start colliding them some point in november. That’s when the world will end.
Dans last blog post..It’s the end of the world as we know it
I think you just gave the best reason out there to continue with CERN experiments.
Arjans last blog post..Shooty warriors rééémixxxxx
Three words: Black Mesa Incident.
Trust no-one. Keep your crowbar handy!
PandoraCaitiffs last blog post..Number 1: The KLF
I wish you’d pointed this out to me earlier. I’d have been over there, bumping into things, standing next to any open cupboards full of chemicals, looking around for spiders to bite me, and running out onto the testing ground if I saw a pesky kid out there on a dare playing his harmonica.
Another missed opportunity.
Is anyone still there? Has the edge of the hole reached you yet?
(un)relaxeddads last blog post..Photo day
I absolutely LOVE the idea of all this.
My buddy’s ex is involved in there somewhere too, probably making the tea or something.
I think the idea of two of those buggers colliding and ending existence as we know in an instance is brilliant…
“the results are in… the next president of the united states of America is….”
…silence…
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..The bushel and the camel’s back
I’ve ALWAYS wanted a black hole. I used to LOVE it when Bugs Bunny would toss one down on the ground in front of Elmer Fudd and Elmer would fall through. Cracked me up every time!
Jeffs last blog post..***Important*** Don’t make this same mistake!
all I can say is what a complete waste of money - i live in hope that it will work and all the silly scientists will disappear into a big black hole
We are still here! However, we are not sure if any Aliens made it through the worm hole. I hope they snatch a few of our politicians while on Holiday.
Jamess last blog post..Cursed Birds!
Silly people…
As every fuele know, big science projects only exist to provide mankind with extremely important gadgets.
The Apollo moon missions brought us non-stick frying pans, how can you say that the godzillion dollar spend wasn’t worth it ?
The Space Shuttle eventually spawned a super glue that would stick ceramic tiles to metal under extreme re-entry temperatures, ok so I haven’t seen that one in B&Q yet but I’m waiting as I need to tile my central heating boiler (seems like a good idea)
And the Russians invented an anti gravity pen that writes upside down that you can now buy from Freeview low budget TV Auction programmes I have so far resisted the purchase of such an item as I don’t find myself inverted too often at work but the first time that I do I just know I’m going to regret not having bid for one.
Garys last blog post..Colonel John Jacob Astor IV - Top Bloke
Arjan - Oh yes, in fact if we don’t get a superhero in my lifetime I’m going to be very disappointed indeed.
PandoraCaitiff - I prefer Sim City myself, although I recognize that that is slightly less relevant.
Rol - I’m a mutant, so I don’t have to worry about these things.
(un)relaxeddad - *crackle*……back hole……*crackle*…….zombies…….*crackle*…….ARRRGGGG
Xbox - You nihilist you.
Jeff - I think you can get them from ACME
dishywinniie - I agree completely. Why waste money trying to uncover the secrets of the universe when there are unnecessary wars to start.
James - Aliens have already been here for a long time. And the are our politicians.
Gary - Ahh, humanities endless quest to tile their water boilers. Can it be true that we are close to realizing it? And also; nice Molesworth reference.
That’s how I see it. It seems like it’d be kind of cool to live in a more sci-fi-esque world. Which I guess would make it sci-non-fi. Granted, I haven’t thought through all of the implications, but who has time for that?
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Hee hee. Iheard about this too, but Stephen Hawking said it would be ok so I didn’t worry. He’s a very clever man you know.
have you already seen the webcams at CERN?
Webcam
Arjans last blog post..Shooty warriors rééémixxxxx
Here’s a link to the best explanation I’ve read so far as to what the Boffins think they’re looking for.
All I can say is those guys must smoke a lot of good dope, yo.
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