There are now twenty seven days left until we set off on our walk. Twenty seven days. That’s about 648 hours, or 38,880 minutes. Hey, that doesn’t sound quite so close now. Maybe breaking it down even further will make me feel better.
2,332,800 seconds.
23,328,000,000,000,000,000 nanoseconds.
OK, maybe that’s taking things too far.
But no matter what spin I try and put on it, I think it’s pretty fair to say that the walk is officially “Not Long Now”.
Am I ready? Am I a lean mean walking machine? Am I bollocks. But as someone at work pointed out the other day, if I’m not ready now I’ll probably never be. I might as well resign myself to the fact that I’ll be doing some serious aching in the not too distant future.
I can hear Sandip tutting at that statement from here, but in my defense I’m not really all that bad. I can do seven or eight miles in a morning, then go do nine hours at work in the afternoon, and not feel stiff the next day. So I’m hoping that the extra effort of doing another eight miles on top of that isn’t going to take it’s toll too badly. And anyway, walking is pretty easy. It’s just a case of putting one foot in front on another right? Right?
Come on, back me up here.
I had the day off yesterday and so had the opportunity to get some serious walking done. Of course I didn’t take the opportunity; I went to the cafe for a full English breakfast and lay around the house in my underpants all day instead. Of course I didn’t want to do those things, I wanted to be out in the pouring rain tramping though muddy fields for hours. Unfortunately I have a reputation as a slovenly oaf to maintain. It’s a hard job, but someone has to do it.
I did manage to haul my carcass off the couch long enough to go down to the hiking shop however. Inspired by Oli’s recent post over at the Dales Walk blog I decided I needed to get a new backpack. One with an airspace back mesh network, compatible hydration system, and side compression straps. No, I have no idea what all that stuff is either, but it sounds impressive and that’s the important thing.
The shop had a wide range of backpacks, and I think I tried on every single one of them at least twice before I made my decision. Rather upsettingly the ones that felt most comfortable to me were all designed for use by women. It must be my petite feminine figure I suppose. But comfy or not, there is no way I’m wearing the Ladyhiker 2000 out in public, especially not in front of the buggers I’m doing this hike with. It’s bad enough that my walking boots were made by the Smallpenis Corporation and my waterproof jacket by Chronicflatulence Inc.
However, after a bit of strap adjustment and buckle loosening I managed to find a man’s backpack I was happy with. So I am now the proud owner of a Karrimor Airspace 30, complete with mesh stash pockets and walking pole attachment points. Pretty damn nifty I’m sure you will agree.
I also got a new walking stick with a more comfortable handle, a waterproof liner for the backpack, and a Camelbak omega hydrotanium reservoir (read water bottle with a straw).
But the crowning glory was my purchase of a bandanna type thing to keep the sun from my scalp and the sweat from my eyes. But now I have a terrible dilemma, do I go with this new headgear or stick with my tried and tested walking hat? The problem is too great a conundrum for me to solve on my own, so I’m appealing for your help. I have taken some photos of me in full walking getup (including backpack and water bottle straw thing) in order that you can come to an informed decision. Remember, my self respect and dignity could ride on your decision.
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In July of this year I shall be walking 78 miles in 6 days in aid of the Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity founded by my close friends in memorial to their son Joseph who died aged 3 in April of 2005. Please look here for further details and consider sponsoring me. Thank you.
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on Jun 27th, 2008 at 12:21 am
I’ve been away for the week, and although we didn’t do as much walking as I’d intended (trekking through mud in the pouring rain and force 7 winds doesn’t seem as appealing as staying in a tent with chocolate biscuits), we did manage a 4.5mile trek with backpacks laden to the brim (complete with Platypus hyrdration systems). And yes, I ached the following day.
27 days. Blimey.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Whit’s last blog post..BlogHer? I Hardly Knew Her
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 12:41 am
ImPerceptible’s last blog post..Confusion on the Catfish Hodge
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 1:03 am
With the hat, you look like a jovial professor out for a leisurely stroll. In the other pics, you look like a biker gang muscle dude who would love dearly to beat up my grandmother.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 1:03 am
VegasDad’s last blog post..appropriate charges?
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 2:35 am
Sam’s last blog post..Winter In Paradise
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 2:47 am
Some combo of Indy and Vin will get the job done.
-I had intended on doing a take off of Two Hearts (by Springsteen) for Two Hats, but 1. it’s not really two hats, but a hat and a bandanna and 2. I’m not as clever as I’d like to be.
PG’s last blog post..Angel Eyes (145/365)
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 3:07 am
Kevin Spencer’s last blog post..Random Wildfire Pics
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 4:13 am
You’re going to wear a backpack and a Camelback?
Bring Body Glide or vasoline. Apply is before you leave… you know… chafing.
Nat’s last blog post..It may be the beer talking…
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 4:32 am
The Chick’s last blog post..Autie Parents, Do Your Part!
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 5:15 am
Ed (zoesdad)’s last blog post..Move Along, People. Move Along.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 5:27 am
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 6:55 am
I vote for 2 and 1. The bandanna can catch sweat (ewwwww) and the hat can keep the blistering sun off your face – what? No blistering sun?
Penelope’s last blog post..Self sabotaging.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Rol’s last blog post..Handsome Devils
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 7:26 am
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Whit – Put the bandanna on top of the hat? But that will just look strange.
Imperceptible – I’m not sure, but it don’t taste like chocolate milk to me.
Phil – Your grandmother has it coming.
VegasDad – A bright pink wig would clash with Oli’s flaming red beard.
Sam – The problem is that the hat isn’t all that easy to carry if you aren’t wearing it. plus the amount I sweat I’ll need about thirty different hats.
PG – A combination of Indy and mr Desiel eh? Hang on a minute, that’s Vinni Jones!
Kevin Spencer – The attraction of the Indy hat is that if it falls off when I’m going through a door I can snatch it off the floor before the door closes a la Raiders of the lost Ark.
Nat – The Camelbak isn’t a rucksack like one that runners use, it’s just the watersack bit you can put in your backpack. And thanks for the tip on Body Glide.
The Chick – Think I’d get away with a whip too?
Ed – No, top hats usually.
Jonathon – It’s solely tempting. I think the 80’s are due another revival and I might be the one to spark it off.
Penelope – Or the hat could keep off the rain which is probably more likely.
Rol – Shave my bottom? How dare you sir!
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 10:44 am
And yes, we’re all going to die.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 10:53 am
But what I really miss is a combination photo.
The bandana AND the hat. Be sure to keep that maniacal look in your eyes, it helps scare the ground you walk on.
Arjan’s last blog post..European Championship ’soundtrack’
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Camel bak, schmammmel bak – i had an idea a while back to produce such a device, using only natural material. I was gonna call it the Camel Sac, and use the scrotum of camels to form the actual water pouch.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Arjan – How do you know I didn’t have the bandana on under the hat eh?
Sandip – I was going to raise doubts about a camel’s scrotum being big enough to hold any significant amount of water. But as you are the world authority on Camel reproductive organs I shall bow to your judgement.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 11:59 am
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
SingleParentDad’s last blog post..I Wuv You
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Avitable’s last blog post..Candy giveaway
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Think Indy hat is the best but I’d invest in some sun cream and some kind of lip salve too.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
the hat and the bandana is probably the best but the dentists sucky thing is a bit disturbing.
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
SingleParentDad – It’s certainly an intriguing idea
Avitable – And when he does it’ll be like thunder road.
Morticia – They make plenty of walking gear in black. Oh, wait, that’s undertakers clothes, my mistake.
Jane – Disturbing, but it means I’m carrying three litres of
beerwater around with me and don’t have to take my rucksack off to get at it.Dan’s last blog post..Hats what I’m talking about
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Mind the gap
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Gary’s last blog post..Goodbye, goodbye, we’re leaving you goodbye…
on Jun 27th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Gary – Now a panama would be rather stylish it’s true. I might have to look into that.
on Jun 28th, 2008 at 3:37 am
James’s last blog post..1 !!!!!!!
on Jun 28th, 2008 at 9:46 am
So do you need me to rustle up some cheerleaders en route?
Gail’s last blog post..On a Lighter Note
on Jun 28th, 2008 at 9:50 am
on Jun 28th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Mind you, I look like Compo 99% of the time anyway, so maybe i should go for a change.
on Jun 29th, 2008 at 7:11 am
Jen’s last blog post..Catch Up
on Jul 1st, 2008 at 9:14 am