The school playground is a fertile breeding ground for myths and legends. From rumors about a mad man in the woods to unconfirmed theories about where babies come from (”you put what where??”) a group of eight year olds with nothing better to do can concoct wild tales far exceeding anything Terry Gilliam could come up with.
Alton Towers was often the subject of my own playground ruminations. While American children had Disneyland, we British had this theme park set in the grounds of a ruined gothic mansion. We used to stand around enthusing grandly about its terrifying rides and eye boggling wonders.
An actual trip to Alton Towers was relatively rare. The price of admission was prohibitively expensive and other lesser theme parks were nearer. Still, my dad enjoyed his roller-coasters and so we got to go more often than most. However I realized the other day that I haven’t been there since I was around 18, far too long a time.
Amy starts school in September. My feelings around this are complex and rather maudlin, so I’ll save them for another post. Suffice to say that, because I work a lot of weekends and evenings, once Amy begins school I’ll see a lot less of her. I want to get as much time with her as I can before that happens. So on Tuesday I took a day off work, took Amy out of nursery, and headed off to Alton Towers.
In the memories forged by my eight year old self Alton Towers was a million miles away and needed a journey of epic proportions just to get there (side note for Craig: Remember when you came with us once and vomited apple all down the side of my Dad’s car? Happy days). But I was shocked to discover that it isn’t very far at all. It only took me one and a half hours to get there and the drive was very pleasant indeed, traveling straight through the heart of the Peak District National Park for 90% of the way.
The other thing that shocked me was how far the park has progressed since my youth. The Corkscrew used to be the biggest and most exciting rollercoaster in the country. Now it doesn’t even make the “Big Rides” section of Alton Towers’ directory, being relegated to the “Laughs and Frights” section. Amazing.
Of course I didn’t get to have a go on any of the big rides as I had Amy with me. That wasn’t a problem though; watching her squeal with delight while steering a car round the Driving School or pilot her rocket up and down on the Bouncing Bugs was better than any ride could ever be. I deliberately didn’t take a camera with me because I wanted to be experiencing the day rather than just recording it, so I don’t have any pictures to show you. Take my word for it though, we had a great time.
Apart from one ride. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was a little too dark and creepy for Amy’s tastes. Once we had got out she turned to me and said:
“I didn’t like that crocodile ride”
“Crocodile ride?” I asked her, puzzled
“Yes, you said it had a great glass alligator”
“Alligator?” Then I realized “No, it’s a great glass elevator, not alligator!”
Well, it amused me anyway.
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on May 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 am
In Ireland we had ‘Mosney’, which was a field.
btw, when Amy heads to school, and if she should pick up any of that ‘where do babies come from’, I’d be very grateful if you’d pass it on. Cheers.
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on May 22nd, 2008 at 4:36 pm
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on May 22nd, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Great move–enjoy the day rather than document. I tend to lose that perspective sometimes.
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on May 23rd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I remember Craig puking out the window of the van…but because the window was wide open, it blew back in! I will never ever forget the gross-ness of that!!
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on May 23rd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I am a wuss, I never dared go on the corkscrew, but I loved the log flume and the swan boats and teacups and stuff. Did you have a water fight? We always had water fights when we went there. Sounds like you had a brilliant time. And I love it when kids get stuff wrong. Great Glass Alligator, snort.
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on May 25th, 2008 at 2:49 am
I heard the tail end of a conversation that my 6 year old son was having with my 4 year old daughter.
“….and then you wake up 7 or 8 months later and you come out of mommy’s bagina!”
Dan
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