The school playground is a fertile breeding ground for myths and legends. From rumors about a mad man in the woods to unconfirmed theories about where babies come from (”you put what where??”) a group of eight year olds with nothing better to do can concoct wild tales far exceeding anything Terry Gilliam could come up with.
Alton Towers was often the subject of my own playground ruminations. While American children had Disneyland, we British had this theme park set in the grounds of a ruined gothic mansion. We used to stand around enthusing grandly about its terrifying rides and eye boggling wonders.
An actual trip to Alton Towers was relatively rare. The price of admission was prohibitively expensive and other lesser theme parks were nearer. Still, my dad enjoyed his roller-coasters and so we got to go more often than most. However I realized the other day that I haven’t been there since I was around 18, far too long a time.
Amy starts school in September. My feelings around this are complex and rather maudlin, so I’ll save them for another post. Suffice to say that, because I work a lot of weekends and evenings, once Amy begins school I’ll see a lot less of her. I want to get as much time with her as I can before that happens. So on Tuesday I took a day off work, took Amy out of nursery, and headed off to Alton Towers.
In the memories forged by my eight year old self Alton Towers was a million miles away and needed a journey of epic proportions just to get there (side note for Craig: Remember when you came with us once and vomited apple all down the side of my Dad’s car? Happy days). But I was shocked to discover that it isn’t very far at all. It only took me one and a half hours to get there and the drive was very pleasant indeed, traveling straight through the heart of the Peak District National Park for 90% of the way.
The other thing that shocked me was how far the park has progressed since my youth. The Corkscrew used to be the biggest and most exciting rollercoaster in the country. Now it doesn’t even make the “Big Rides” section of Alton Towers’ directory, being relegated to the “Laughs and Frights” section. Amazing.
Of course I didn’t get to have a go on any of the big rides as I had Amy with me. That wasn’t a problem though; watching her squeal with delight while steering a car round the Driving School or pilot her rocket up and down on the Bouncing Bugs was better than any ride could ever be. I deliberately didn’t take a camera with me because I wanted to be experiencing the day rather than just recording it, so I don’t have any pictures to show you. Take my word for it though, we had a great time.
Apart from one ride. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was a little too dark and creepy for Amy’s tastes. Once we had got out she turned to me and said:
“I didn’t like that crocodile ride”
“Crocodile ride?” I asked her, puzzled
“Yes, you said it had a great glass alligator”
“Alligator?” Then I realized “No, it’s a great glass elevator, not alligator!”
Well, it amused me anyway.
Aw bless her. Out of the mouths and all that (comes with it…ba da boom).
In Ireland we had ‘Mosney’, which was a field.
btw, when Amy heads to school, and if she should pick up any of that ‘where do babies come from’, I’d be very grateful if you’d pass it on. Cheers.
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..A warning to the txt generation
I was quite into AT when I was a kid - I even braved the Corkscrew. You wouldn’t get me on it nowadays (or any of its successors). Most I’d manage now would be the log flume.
Rol’s last blog post..A Terrible Waste Of Oxygen
Sounds like a great place to visit someday. Personally, growing up Southern California I frequently visited Disneyland, Magic Mountain and Knott’s Berry Farm (Knott’s Scary Farm at Halloween). Those were the days. I have fond memories.
jason’s last blog post..Pill Poppin’ Pubescent Pinheads
I haven’t been to Alton Towers in eons! From here I think it really is an epic journey, 3 or 4 days, over the Alps possibly, right? ;o)
Penelope’s last blog post..Did I just say that?
Ah, theme parks and summer. I think my kids may just be ready. I know I am.
Great move–enjoy the day rather than document. I tend to lose that perspective sometimes.
Ed (zoesdad)’s last blog post..….Six? Hey Wait a Minute!
Wow! Maybe I should go again. Glad you both had a great day - dudelet’s the same on roundabouts as well, he can’t get enough of them.
(un)relaxeddad’s last blog post..In praise (just this once) of 4?4s
Blimey, I haven’t been to Alton Towers in a looooong time. 1995 I think. Obviously living in the US now makes it a little difficult. I’ll never forget the first time I went though, school trip of course when I was a nipper and there were two coach loads of us as I recall. The corkscrew was the absolute bees knees back then as there was nothing else like it in the country. It always was “our” version of Disneyland.
Kevin Spencer’s last blog post..The Birthday Massacre, Marquee Theatre
It amuses me. Last time I took all three kids to the dentist, we rode an elevator. They all called it an alligator. Did alligator chops with their arms and growled. (First I heard about alligators growling … but, oh well.) With other people in the “alligator.” Good times.
Becky’s last blog post..Books: Final Salute ~ win an autographed copy
I remember Craig puking out the window of the van…but because the window was wide open, it blew back in! I will never ever forget the gross-ness of that!!
Ahhh, we used to love Alton Towers. Is the black hole still there?
I am a wuss, I never dared go on the corkscrew, but I loved the log flume and the swan boats and teacups and stuff. Did you have a water fight? We always had water fights when we went there. Sounds like you had a brilliant time. And I love it when kids get stuff wrong. Great Glass Alligator, snort.
Jo Beaufoix’s last blog post..Dinner smells yummy
A day well spent! Hmm I’ll look twice from now on if there are no alligators ín my elevator.
Arjan’s last blog post..Meeting a Ms. psycho bitch
Very adorable post, my friend.
I heard the tail end of a conversation that my 6 year old son was having with my 4 year old daughter.
“….and then you wake up 7 or 8 months later and you come out of mommy’s bagina!”
Dan
dan leone’s last blog post..Good company is more important than good wine.