Over on her blog Miss Britt recently talked about how she sometimes feels jealous of friends with less commitments than her. That, on her very worst days, she feels a resentment towards her husband and children for denying her the life she could lead without the tether of her love for them.
Britt is an incredibly honest blogger. She puts things out there which many of us leave tucked up nice and safe in our closets, sometimes hidden even from ourselves. And she does so with humor, passion, and intelligence. If you aren’t already a regular reader then I advise you to get over there and join her legion of fans.
I must admit it isn’t very often I read one of Britt’s posts without at least a tiny part of me raising it’s hand and shouting out “Me too!”. But while I understand and empathize with where she is coming from, I can honestly say that I’ve ever felt that my wife and children hold me back from a life I would like to lead.
This is it for me. This is what I want. Sure, I could do with working less and earning more. Have a bigger house, a faster computer, a complete collection of Star Wars figures. But I know that at the end of the day those things don’t really matter. Kerry, Amy and Evan, that’s all I need. These are the best days of my life, and I recognize it.
But Kerry and the kids have left me. Oh, they will be coming back. They’ve just gone over to Spain to visit Kerry’s aunt. I would have gone too but I can’t afford the annual leave at the moment. I’ll spare you the exact details but I’m currently using all my holiday entitlement in a elaborately complicated shift pattern that allows me to look after the kids Mondays and Wednesdays but still have every second weekend off to spend with Kerry.
My family have been gone for exactly ten hours now and I miss them all terribly. I went out for a quick pint with Neil and Dave this evening and despite all the gags about me being a free agent again (Apparently marriage vows are only applicable if your spouse is still within British airspace) my mind kept wandering back to them. Ever since the trip was arranged I’ve had a leaden feeling in my stomach every time I think of it. What if something happens to them. What if something goes wrong with the plane on the way there? What if the plane crashes?
And then the raw truth of the matter. The very root of my inquietude – What if the plane crashes and I’m not on it with them?
I know, I know. Everything will be fine. I’ll enjoy my time home alone. I’ll watch UK Gold and eat crap, read in bed and get up late, potter in the garden and go for long walks without feeling guilty that I’m neglecting them. But I’ll also be marking the hours until they all get back and the house springs to life again.
One hundred and twenty two hours and counting.
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In July of this year I shall be walking 78 miles in 6 days in aid of the Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity founded by my close friends in memorial to their son Joseph who died aged 3 in April of 2005. Please look here for further details and consider sponsoring me. Thank you.
Related posts:
first.. Wow. Thank you.
And second… Good for you. Truly. The best blessing of all is to recognize it.
miss britt’s last blog post..An Invitation
I think I love you Dan.
Using your holidays like that is just a ‘seemingly’ small example of why you really are top man.
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Champagne & pizza
I read Brit’s blog and I totally get where she’s coming from. And then The Man and The Boy leave (or I do for a few days) and I feel that terribly emptiness without them. I have come to the conclusion that it’s just so much better with them around… So much better.
Nat’s last blog post..Here’s to you…
“Kerry, Amy and Evan, that’s all I need.”
And all that comes with it, of course. I only recently slapped my forehead and realized what the title of your blog was all about. I’m kind of slow.
I’ve never been away from my wife for more than 12 hours. 18 years of marriage and we’ve never been separated by time and distance. We didn’t plan it that way, it just happened. It helps that nobody wants us to come visit them, separately or together!
This is exactly why god created sick leave (or was it Llody George?).
Sam’s last blog post..In Which You Die of Boredom
This is way too sweet to waste on a blog post. If I were you I’d print it out and then delete it. And then give it to Kerry for her birthday or your next anniversary and act like you wrote it just for her.
aaawwww, I just want to cuddle you! How sweet are you?
I feel the same when one of my boys goes away. It’s nice to have abit of peace but then it feels like something is missing. So far I haven’t been fortunate enough to have to experience being totally on my own – but hell I’d love to give it a try!!
Gail’s last blog post..All is Calm
I’m with Jeff on this :)
Arjan’s last blog post..Apocalypse now
Blog posts don’t make me teary…honest they don’t.
Clair’s last blog post..All About The Words
Oh that’s right, don’t tell me that you’re all going to the pub you buggers.
You didn’t mention this on the phone last night – you just said you were in the pub, then mocked me for getting out of breath while walking up a hill on the way home! Ya big softy, you.
Damn, this post took a morbid turn, though. And you did mean “can’t honestly say” not “can honestly say”, right?
Avitable’s last blog post..Too early for Halloween?
I wish I had what you had. Circumstances, unfortunately, and poor choices in husbands, have precluded me from having a family. I would give away my career and all my success in that arena for a family like yours.
Absurdist’s last blog post..Mother?s Day Part IV: Quotes from Great Blog Moms
said before but worth repeating you really are an angel. It’s true all the best men are already married!
Bec’s last blog post..The FA Vase Final
I’d mock but the challenge has gone
I know what you mean about the plane thing. I used to quite like flying. Now, all I think about is how much I/they will miss if it goes down.
(un)relaxeddad’s last blog post..Carnival, May 3
Britt – and the very best blessing is recognize that recognizing it is the best blessing. And the very very best blessing is to….
Xbox4NappyRash – Why thank you sir
Nat – Kids are nothing if not a perfect example of “can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em”
Phil – I sort of regret the name of the blog. I wish i had thought about it longer and come up with something a bit more punchy.
And I heard that the reason you’ve not been away from your wife for 12 hours is that she doesn’t trust you alone in the house for any longer than that.
Sam – They have got a bit facist recently with sick leave at our work. You have to go for a “back to work interview” and all sorts of unpleasantness.
Jeff – I get Kerry DVD’s that I want to watch for her birthday
Gail – I’m missing them, but keeping busy is helping.
Arjan – You and Jeff, you’re always ganging up on me.
Clair – Nice scarf!!
Craig – Sorry, we only stayed for one so it wasn’t really an outing. I wasn’t really invited either, I just kind of crashed Neil and Dave’s meet.
Oli – I didn’t want to distract you from your walk. Have you worked your way up to two miles yet? Keep at it, you’ll get there.
Avitable – I think I meant never instead of ever actually.
Absurdist – I’m a lucky guy, I know this.
Bec – I dunno about that. You present the face you want to present on your blog.
Craig – Whatever, short arse
(un)relaxeddad – It’s a cliché, but your way of looking at the world changes when you have kids.
Spot on!
Whit’s last blog post..Of Motherhood and Wedding Bells
“she doesn’t trust you alone in the house for any longer than that.”
Yes, it’s true. She knows I’ll either starve to death, burn the house down, or get lost in the backyard.