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In which I cunningly avoid having to come up with any original content

Feb 21st, 2008
by Dan.

I recently sent Jeff a parcel of delightful English delicacies as reward for winning my “About me”competition. Here is his video review of some of it’s contents – a sample pack of Marmite (the moment of truth is around the six minute mark).



———-

Which all put me in mind of a post Greg did way back in June 2005:


2275207123_6bddc2feaf-1.jpg

It blows. It sucks. However you want to say it I now have proof (not that I required it) this stuff is nasty.

I brought a jar of Marmite to work along with some Wheat Thins. I spread some of the sticky, brown goo on the crackers and left them on a plate. Next to my unholy appetizers I placed a pad of paper that read, “What do you think of Marmite?”

Here’s what they wrote:

  1. The worst chocolate sauce ever.
  2. EWW – - – -
  3. So that’s what happens when you mess up a batch of wort. . .
  4. Get your money back – this jar has gone bad!!!!
  5. Whoa.
  6. Tastes “funny.” Paradoxically, both funny weird AND funny Ha Ha. That’s all. Gotta go to the vomitorium.

My friend Donna wrote a haiku:

Smoked, salty yeast sauce
Hardens to a deep brown glaze
More like brine, or bile?

Then she wrote another one:

Lower fat wheat thins
Adorned with dark brown yeast sauce
No one liked his treat

Marmite is so bad a person was moved to commit haiku. That pretty much says it all.

Originally from “Marmite taste test #1“, Greg and Deb on the Web, 26 June 2005

America has spoken. It votes a resounding NO to Marmite. Which is a bit rich coming from a nation willing to accept that brown waxy stuff they laughingly claim is “chocolate”. I mean seriously, Hersheys? Beeswax more like.

Related posts:

  1. He may blog from the toilet, but he’s ok by me.
  2. A view from the clouds
  3. Steak, Lube, and a hot hot tongue
  4. We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet

Posted in: General.

← The sad thing is he scored higher than me
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25 Comments on “In which I cunningly avoid having to come up with any original content”

  1. #1 Whit
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 12:41 am

    Are you slowly trying to mail all of the Marmite out of England?

    Whit’s last blog post..Clean Sleep

    Reply

  2. #2 Jeff
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 1:56 am

    I didn’t actually know YOU hated it too. So what does that say about my “prize”? I thought you were trying to share some of your favorite food with me. On second thought, I guess your description of “pungent” should have been a clue.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Tough Break

    Reply

  3. #3 Hygiene Dad
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 2:16 am

    That was so funny.

    Hygiene Dad’s last blog post..When I Am an Old Man I Shall Wear Whatever

    Reply

  4. #4 John
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 2:18 am

    For some reason, I don’t think I’ve ever tried Marmite. Although I’m told the stuff they cover Twiglets with is basically the same kind of stuff, is that right? And most of us have tried Twiglets if only because bowls of them keep sprouting spontaneously up at gatherings and buffets and parties and such, just wwhen your hand is looking for a bunch of stuff to dip into for no good reason.

    John’s last blog post..I would be saying other stuff if I wasn?t saying this?

    Reply

  5. #5 Miss Britt
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 2:31 am

    Your chocolate is different than our chocolate?? I had no idea.

    Miss Britt’s last blog post..Things I’ve Left Unsaid

    Reply

  6. #6 Jeff S
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 5:22 am

    Her-shays chocolate!! Ah NO!!
    Try this…
    http://www.chocolat-frey.com/

    Um good stuff!! They have it finally here in the states at Target!!!
    YEAH!!!

    Marmite? Not too sure about that!
    :)

    Jeff S’s last blog post..Gung Hay Fat Choy

    Reply

  7. #7 scott lancaster
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 6:06 am

    Hey

    My name is Scott Lancaster from http://www.diyfather.com we are a global online interactive forum for fathers based in New Zealand.

    I was hoping that you might be interested in sharing content, we would link back to your site with your name on our site.

    Also would you be interested in doing a podcast interview via telephone?

    Let me know if this is possible I look forward to hearing from you

    My return email is scott@diyfather.com

    Regards Scott

    scott lancaster’s last blog post..Dad Workin?

    Reply

  8. #8 Kristina
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 6:15 am

    Has anyone ever sent you Magic Shell ice cream topping? If not I’d like to offer to send it along…if you think Hershey’s is cheap chocolate, just wait.

    I love great chocolate. However, somehow I love me some Magic Shell too.

    Kristina’s last blog post..The difference between Obama and McCain

    Reply

  9. #9 Rattling the Kettle
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 6:28 am

    My aunt has a great recipe for French onion soup that calls for Marmite. Oddly, she’s from Australia.

    Rattling the Kettle’s last blog post..The subprime mess, in stick figures

    Reply

  10. #10 Becky
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 7:58 am

    Marmite on “Wheat Thins”? No wonder they hated it. Probably spread it on like chocolate sauce too. It would be like eating it neat! Marmite needs something a bit more robust, something that can hold it’s own against Marmite’s intense deliciousness!

    Reply

  11. #11 Phil
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 8:20 am

    I’ve been putting off sampling my package of Marmite. Now I’m actually afraid. Maybe I’ll let the cat try it first. He’s old. We can always get a new cat.

    Kristina’s right, Magic Shell is awesome. That is, if you like to eat your ice cream with a thick plastic coating. Yummmm.

    Reply

  12. #12 Morticia
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    Re your walk – I might be able to get the health and beauty team where I work (which has to remain a state secret btw) to give you some plasters/blister packs if you think they’d be of any use.

    Let me know if they would be and I’ll go put by best begging cap on for you.

    My home email is down though (computer died a death last night) so please use email used on this comment if you need to email me.

    Also cheque should be going direct to Joseph Salmon later this week or early next.

    Reply

  13. #13 Avitable
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    Are you disparaging Hershey’s? It’s much better than the British chocolate I’ve tried.

    Avitable’s last blog post..Whorsday

    Reply

  14. #14 Rol
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    I’m with America.

    Rol’s last blog post..Jive Bunny

    Reply

  15. #15 Dan
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Whit – I just enjoy torturing Americans

    Jeff – I love the stuff, that second bit was originally writen by Greg.

    Hygiene Dad – Kerry and I were nearly on the floor laughing at Jeff’s facial expression.

    John – Twiglets are indeed rather marmitey. Perhaps I should send Jeff theose next.

    Jeff S – Hersheys covered in Marmite. A truly international dish.

    Kristina – We have something very similar over here, magic ice I think it’s called. We even have a bottle of it in the cupboard. Thanks for the offer though.

    Rattling the kettle – Surely they will revoke her citizenship for not using vegemite.

    Becky – Indeed. You need to really build up a tolerance to the stuff before you can use it thickly.

    Phil – I’m guessing the cat might like it.

    Morticia – You are a officer and a gentleman. Thank you so much. I’ll email you about the plasters.

    Avitable & Britt – Cadbury’s chocolate is far superior to anything American I’ve ever tasted.

    But I have a sneaky suspicion you two are just trying to goad me into sending you free chocolate

    Dan’s last blog post..In which I cunningly avoid having to come up with any original content

    Reply

  16. #16 Dan
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Rol – Traitor.

    Dan’s last blog post..In which I cunningly avoid having to come up with any original content

    Reply

  17. #17 Xbox4NappyRash
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    The worst chocolate sauce ever – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….

    please don’t spoil it for me by telling me if that was meant to be sarcastic or not.

    that gear is seriously bad though.

    Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..I’m an excellent daily dose, apparently!

    Reply

  18. #18 Grandma & Grandad
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Loved this video, sorry that my son-in-law did this to you – no I’m not, it was worth the laugh. We like marmite but in small doses but have a friend who spreads it like chocolate, as does Neil (Kerry’s brother). Cubes of cooked potato, fried in butter and a little marmite are delicious too. Is now a good time to come clean and admit to Greg that there was marmite in the gravy he had with his roast dinner here when he and Deb visited?

    Reply

  19. #19 (un)relaxeddad
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    Actually, we really should organise a kind of chocolate Marshall Plan for America. I’m sure it would solve everything. And can’t you get arrested for exporting munitions like Marmite without a licence?

    (un)relaxeddad’s last blog post..I couldn?t resist this one – but the Hulk?

    Reply

  20. #20 Arjan
    on Feb 21st, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    I guess I’ll stay off Marmite..I’ve seen it in supermarkets overhere (netherlands) but stayed away. Let’s keep it that way.

    I’ll just keep to smearing Bebogeen (caramel stuff) on my sandwiches sometimes. Delicious! Or a combination of chocolate pasta & peanut butter.

    Arjan’s last blog post..Megabattle: Nids vs Iron Warriors

    Reply

  21. #21 Deb
    on Feb 22nd, 2008 at 2:33 am

    Grandma and Grandad – oh my goodness, are you serious!?

    The gravy was delicious. Greg honey, I guess we can finally find a way to get rid of the rest of the jar of Marmite if you cook this weekend.

    Reply

  22. #22 Greg
    on Feb 22nd, 2008 at 2:40 am

    NO WAY! Say it ain’t so, Jeannette! It’s my hope that you’ll come visit us for dinner one day. Before it was because you’re wonderful company and we wanted to repay your kindness. Now it’s for an entirely different reason.

    Mwhahah.

    Reply

  23. #23 Jeff
    on Feb 22nd, 2008 at 4:00 am

    Grandma & Grandad – Nice try at the apology thing. You’re just like him you are!

    Jeff’s last blog post..To tip or not to tip?

    Reply

  24. #24 Momo Fali
    on Feb 22nd, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    Mmmmm…bile on crackers. I’ll have to try some of that.

    Reply

  25. #25 Kerry
    on Feb 23rd, 2008 at 10:27 am

    Greg, Deb – sorry but it’s true. Apparently it makes the gravy particularly tasty but as it was the meat one, I can’t confirm this allegation.

    The whole of marmite’s advertising campaign is based on “you either love it or you hate it” See their website. Dan loves it. I hate it. Although I secretly wish I liked it…

    Reply

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