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Great minds of our times

Dec 13th, 2007
by Dan.

Shortly before he died in 1955 Albert Einstein unveiled what many regard to be his most magnificent piece of work: the special theory of bed relativity. The actual specifics of which are immensely complex and intricate, but in layman’s terms the theory states that the area an individual takes up in a bed is inversely proportional to the age and size of that individual.

For example, here is an analysis of the bedspace allocation within our own household:

image002.jpg

Of course Einstein did not develop his theory in isolation. In fact he drew very heavily on work carried out by Charles Darwin in 1873. In his seminal work “An exploration of nocturnal head, stomach, and scrotum kicking” Darwin established a clear link between the amount of damage children caused their parents during the night and their likelihood of their genetic viability. He theorized that human children act much like cuckoos. If a child is able to inflict permanent trauma to their father’s reproductive organs, thus reducing the likelihood of the production of any siblings, the child is able to remain the sole focus of the parent’s resources.

Interestingly enough the psychologist Stanley Milgram developed a number of experiments surrounding sleep deprivation which were centered on Einstein and Darwin’s theories. However the research was discontinued due to concerns about human rights implications and the mental health of the participants.

Related posts:

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  5. …again?

Posted in: General.

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9 Comments on “Great minds of our times”

  1. #1 CamiKaos
    on Dec 13th, 2007 at 12:48 am

    My chart is something like Cami: 15% Mr. Kaos 8% Spike 5% Ripper 2% and K 70%.

    Reply

  2. #2 Tomas
    on Dec 13th, 2007 at 4:05 am

    You have a round bed?

    Reply

  3. #3 zoe's dad
    on Dec 13th, 2007 at 4:52 am

    I think I read somewhere that sleep deprivation can actually kill you. I immediately put down the article and took a nap.

    Reply

  4. #4 (un)relaxeddad
    on Dec 13th, 2007 at 6:03 am

    Dudelet has so far stayed out of our bed. He actually wants us to sleep in his which we’ve also resisted being as his bed is definitely not a Tardis and lying on it (which I give in to occasionally) requires the adoption of the hugging knees yoga position.

    As to our family bed – supermum 95%, newborn 5%, me 0%. Won’t last forever. Hopefully.

    Reply

  5. #5 Jeff
    on Dec 13th, 2007 at 6:59 am

    Brilliant research. I await your journal AND your Nobel prize as well.

    And yes, I have completed my project and I’m back in the blogsphere again. Although you don’t need to poke me on Facebook because I don’t poke back either.

    Reply

  6. #6 Holmes
    on Dec 13th, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    Yes, yes, this looks about right. Excellent work. Too bad poor Einstein had no blog upon which to publish his results.

    Reply

  7. #7 Avitable
    on Dec 13th, 2007 at 2:45 pm

    Our dog takes up 90%, and my wife takes up 9%. I have to sleep standing.

    Reply

  8. #8 Miss Britt
    on Dec 13th, 2007 at 4:11 pm

    Immediately following this research a study entitled “101 Ways To Lock Your Small Children Out Of Your Room” was released.

    And birth control.

    Reply

  9. #9 Whit
    on Dec 14th, 2007 at 12:36 am

    That pie chart is spot on, except our slices for the parents are made smaller due to the addition of pet representation.

    Whit’s last blog post..“They” is My Wife

    Reply

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