Walk(ie) the talk(ie)

So I bought myself a walkie-talkie. And because as we all know one walkie-talkie is neither use nor ornament I bought another one too. And then I bought another one, and then another. Yes I have four walkie-talkies. Living the dream man, living the dream.

The justification for this rather extravagant purchase is that they will be invaluable in our upcoming 78 mile sponsored walk. That’s right, I bought them all in the name of charity. Shame on you for assuming that I got them just fulfill some sort of childish fantasies.

Just in case you need any further persuasion of my philanthropic intentions, here are the top five reason why walkie-talkies are essential to our trek:

• We can all assign ourselves cool call signs just like on Smokey and the Bandit or Top Gun; thereby increasing both morale and our attractiveness to the opposite sex (Burt Relolds and Tom Cruse were voted “Worlds Sexiest Man” in 1977 and 1986 respectively. Coincidence? I very much doubt it).
• If for any reason the country is invaded by a hostile foreign force during the walk we could hide out in the hills and become a guerrilla resistance force. We would use the walkie-talkies to co-ordinate our devastating attacks on the enemy.
• When one of us falls down a crevice or abandoned mine shaft we can throw a handset after them and keep them entertained by singing songs from the shows until the air ambulance arrives.
• We can use them to keep saying “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfunster” to each other a-la Die Hard (the ITV pre-watershed edit).
• One of the many technical features of the walkie-talkies is when switched on they emit a high frequency tone which repels mosquitos; thus reducing the risk of our entire party dying of malaria

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Pretty compelling arguments I think you’ll agree.

There are some drawbacks however. While the majority of the walkers will be more than happy with the rugged black and silver lines of the Binatone Trek 100 Personal Mobile Radios; I am very much aware that Paul may find it a little harsh. He is a sensitive soul with delicate needs. For example take his recent post on the Dales Walk blog on what type of moisturizer, eye cream and exfoliator he should take with him on the hike. The daily dilemmas that this fragile flower has to suffer through is inhumane. Therefor I have had a quiet word with Amy and she has assured me he can use her walkie-talkies for the duration of the trip. You are welcome Paul.

_{This is cross posted at the Dales Walk blog}

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Related posts:

1. Oh to be Josh Baskin
2. An amble along the canal side: an annotated photo
3. The Dales Walk
4. How to walk
5. The magnificent thirteen