College sports have never been as big in the UK as they seem to be in the States. Over here university sports teams are just thinly veiled excuses for the participants to consume twice their body weight in alcohol. It is very rare that they gather any support from their fellow students, and the numbers of spectators at their games can be counted on two hands. In fact the only sports team that I was aware of while at University was the woman’s rugby team, and that was only because there was a rumor spread that they could crush a man’s skull between their thighs.
But as far as I can gather in the USA college sports are big business. Particularly American football (you will find, I think, that is the correct term for the game). People turn out in their thousands to support the Wisconsin Meerkats play the Arkansas Pineapples in the regional semi heat finals. The prospect of those kind of numbers turning up to watch a university team in the UK play is unthinkable. The closest we get is the Oxford and Cambridge boat race; and even then most people only watch because they are secretly hoping one of the teams will sink.
I must admit though, I do have a rather large soft spot for American Football. In the early nineties there was an ill fated attempt to introduce the sport into Europe in the form of the World League. The game was fast paced, violent, and exciting and it thrilled the 15 year old me immensely. So enthused was I that I even stayed up until three in the morning to watch the 1992 superbowl between the Buffalo Bills and the Washington Redskins. It was only then that I realized that I had only ever seen the edited highlights of games, and now I was to witness a full length, four quarter game of gridiron.
My god it’s a slow game. They keep stopping all the time. Just pick up the ball and run with it to the other end damnit! I fell asleep before the third down.
After that I sort of stopped watching American football. But my romance with it hasn’t really ended. I think it’s something about the team names and the logos that really appeals to me. The national sport in the UK is football (that’s football, not bloody “soccer”. If you are going to use our language then at least make an effort to do so properly), and our team names are incredibly bland. My local side for example is Huddersfield Town which, while it earns full marks for geographical accuracy, is hardly inspiring.
No, I long for a Seahawk or a Falcon, a Bronco or a Colt. And so with that in mind I have decided to set up my own American Football team here in humble Huddersfield. Much like The Sneeze’s rock band The Tree Brains the team will be purely theoretical in nature. There will be no players, no stadium, and only a small select number of handpicked seventeen year old cheerleaders. But while it may not exist in reality, it will exist in our hearts.
I have already come up with a name and designed a totally arsekicking logo, both of which I shall unveil tomorrow. In the meantime however I invite you to take a guess at what the team name will be. There will be a SPECIAL PRIZE!! for the person who either guesses correctly or comes the closest to it.
Wow, isn’t this exciting.
While at uni I regularly (well, twice) attended the Rugby League matches after being told by one of the guys on the team that there were lots of pretty single men around. He lied.
My guess would have to be the Huddersfield Horns… it’s cheerleader related.
How many times can we guess?
I’m thinking “Huddersfield Hens.” Nah, too feminine. How about “Huddersfield Cocks.”
The West Yorkies.
Kirklees Kickers.
Market Town Marauders.
Huddersfield Millers.
Castle Hill Caretakers.
I never thought American football was slow until I saw my first rugby match on TV. And then I thought, “holy shit - these guys are insane!” Now I’m wishing our football would borrow a few of their rules as well.
Messing with American football? Hmm. Could have a brawl on your hands, Dan! Not by me, of course, I couldn’t care less…but from some other scary football peeps, for sure! You may also know that HIGH SCHOOL (or secondary/prep school) football is a big deal here in the Southern U.S. Just a little tidbit for you….
Being from smack dab in the armpit of America I have no idea about where Huddersfield is and what it’s about. Exaustive research–google–has led me to these two choices:
The Huddersfield Brigantes
The Huddersfield Worsted Woolies
I am so, so tempted to post this comment as “anonymous” so as to not expose my geekery, but I know that you are not one to judge:
The Huddersfield Paladins
The Huddersfield Barbarians
Or, possibly, in honor of the Huddersfield coat of arms:
The Huddersfield Rams
The Arkansas Pineapples? I’d root for them!
As for Huddersfield, perhaps you’re considering:
The Huddersfield Huggies
The Huddersfield He-Men
The Huddersfield Diet Cokers
The Huddersfield Bloggers
The Huddersfield Bananas
The Huddersfield Big Daddies
The Huddersfield Procreators
The Huddersfield Walla Wallas
Am I even close? :)
‘Barracudas’ has already been taken by the rugby lot.
‘Terriers’ is the nickname for Town.
‘Harriers’ was coined for a running club.
I reckon you’re going to choose something with a bit of heritage to it, so I’m going to opt for one of the following:
The Milliners
The Ramsdens
The Shoddies
The Mungoes
I think I’m one of about three guys in Texas who isn’t into American football. There used to be four of us, but one of the guys moved to Canada.
For the record, it’s the Arkansas Razorbacks.
Go Hogs! Sooie!
(I married into a Razorback family. We have to show the love.)
“in the regional semi heat finals”
Sadly something like this just doesn’t exist in American college football. No, we get computer rankings and polls to tell us who is the better team.
Having the best teams play each other?
Silly!
Oh, and I don’t think it’s that the game is so much slow as it suffers from attention deficit disorder.