I’ve recently started to read a blog by someone who lives in the same village as me. I’m not going to link to it because I don’t want him to follow me back here. The idea of people who live near me reading my blog sort of creeps me out.
According to my statcounter the majority of visitors to this site are from overseas. There are a few who live within 30 miles (Paul, Gary, Steve, and various blogless friends and relations). But I know who they are and I’m pretty comfortable with all of them. However I’m not sure I want many more readers who might be able to track me down and pop round on the off chance of a cup of tea.
And they could, very easily. I’ve never made much of an effort to hide our identities here on the blog. I read plenty of other bloggers who only refer to their kids as “banana breath” or “pumpkin face” or some such pseudonym; but until recently I’ve never really considered disguising who we are as something I wanted to do.
Whit’s recent excellent post over at DadCentric on the topic of blogging about our children started a train of thought for me. Like him I started to blog both out of pride in my family and in order to leave a record of the love I have for them. But in doing so I have shoved my children onto a stage on which they never asked to perform. Their exploits, foibles, and bon mots are held up for examination and used as entertainment for people all over the world. Granted my audience probably numbers in the low twenties, but the fact still remains that someone in Australia knows my son has recently vomited in my bed.
I don’t worry too much about crazed pedophiles tracking us down. I’ve met enough people who have been abused as children to know that “stranger danger” is much less worrying than “neighbor, friend and relative danger”. But I am concerned that in ten years time Amy and Evan’s school friends will stick their names into google and stumble upon this site. They will then be able to uncover enough valuable ammunition in order to torment them for months on end. Childhood can be tough enough without your father leaking damaging information to the enemy.
I also worry a little that one day one of my my patients might come across the site. I don’t blog about work as a rule, and so there are no confidentiality issues at stake. But there are certainly a few people I work with that I don’t want knowing too much about my personal life.
So I’ve made a decision. Over the next couple of weeks I’m going to work my way through my archives and modify any post which could be used to pinpoint us. I’m not planning to change Amy and Evan’s names to “Dishmop” and “The Admiral” or anything drastic like that, but I do intend to erase any reference to our last names or where we live. Mostly the changes will be unnoticeable, but I estimate three or four entries will probably have to go completely. Of course a determined stalker will still be able to track us down if they want to, but I see no reason to make it easy for them.
Do you think Dooce ever worries about this sort of stuff? Teasing poor old Leta is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel.
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 12:50 am
Hmm… maybe putting a satellite picture of your house wasn’t such a great idea after all… Maybe you should start the post deletions with that “Where-do-you-keep-your-spare-keys” tag you did the other day.
I know what you mean, though. I get the shakes when I see someone from Baltimore read my blog. And there are millions of people here. But now I feel they all look at me funny.
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 2:18 am
The dishmop? I don’t know why, but I laughed my ass off on that.
Yeah, we don’t use last names either. But honestly, having a stalker would give you more to write about.
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 3:14 am
I’ve always been careful to conceal my true identity. My wife? Not so much. She got found and ended up joining the Blogger Witness Protection Program.
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 3:15 am
If someone has the tenacity and will to track me down…I think I might want to have tea with them just to ask them how they get so motivated!
But I concur with most of what you wrote :)
Bradley
The Egel Nest
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 4:58 am
I’ve never used my kids’ names, so no worries about a Google search in ten years time. I also have never used my last name or my wife’s name. I don’t think it’s limited me at all.
In three years I have yet to come up with anything more clever than “my son” or “my daughter” when referring to my children. Boring, I know. A local blogging mom calls her kids “Boo” and “Goo”…
I’m not too worried about stalkers. I own a small arsenal of military-grade weapons that are always locked and loaded. (not really, but best to let the stalkers think I do)
It’s a sad world that we have to worry about this stuff, but it’s the only world we’ve got.
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 6:01 am
There was a guy who was reading and commenting on my blog for ages who I always suspected was someone I knew from high school. I never really gave it much thought until one day I looked at his email address and it confirmed it.
At first I was a little creeped out but I don’t hang out with him (or anyone from high school for that matter so this is no reflection on him as a person) so I continued to respond in exactly the same manner as before I knew.
No one I really spend any time with reads my blog even though they all know about it.
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Interesting post.
Defeating the google is a very important priority in my opinion. Blog, fine, but don’t be googlable. I can’t see the advantage on any level. As long as you can avoid that, you’ll be in good stead.
Good luck with the editing! What a drag, though. A job that goes nicely with a stiff drink or two, I imagine!
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Our family has been splashed all over the newspaper so many times here that trying to hide our identity would be a moot point.
Of course, unlike you, my clients would never have any interest in my personal life. They barely have an interest in my professional life.
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
I completely understand where you are coming from and good on you for protecting your children. Strangely enough I made the opposite transition from stealth to completely out there. I must admit though that it has watered down my posts. I’ve had to not tell some damn funny stories about them.
on Oct 10th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
You know, I’ve actually toyed around a few times with the crazed notion of doing a Select All for any instances of proper names and Replacing them with Biscuit Butt or whatever. I doubt I ever will out of laziness, and of course because my vast readership would levy accusations of an undefined nature.
on Oct 11th, 2007 at 2:20 am
I have those same concerns every once in a while. For me to hide us now though, I’d have to change the blog name and url. Or just change Clare’s name.
on Oct 11th, 2007 at 2:50 am
I’m so out there it’s beyond repair. My blog name is my last name. I talk about my kids and show videos of them. I’m not too worried.
I think that as far as them being embarrassed or whatnot, this is the age of technology and celebrity. I don’t think it will even faze them.
As for safety, if anything it makes me all the more diligent.
Thanks for the love on the post link, Mr. Chutney. I appreciate the appreciating.
One thing I’ve decided since writing that is that Christopher Robin sounds like he grew up to be a real prick. Can I say that here?
on Oct 11th, 2007 at 10:41 am
I cancelled my blog.. purely because of so called stalkers. Some people have nothing else to do !? They think it gives them the given right to make your life miserable, maybe its society as it is these days-full of weired-sad-fookin gits. I have neither the time nor energy to be arsed with tracking ANYONE… I’m far too old for that.
p.s. I also worked in the M H system! this sure does give an insite. nuff said…
p.p.s I hope “Mr Chicken” doesn’t think I’m stalking him lmao.
on Oct 18th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
[...] and my username is dghughes28 (yes I know giving that out is almost a direct contradiction to my previous statements about becoming more anonymous; but I want to feel popular [...]
on Oct 20th, 2007 at 4:55 am
That’s why I added the Clark Kent worthy disguise of adding DuNord to my name. I’m practically invisible on teh interwebs.