Despite an enthusiastic start I pretty much gave up on gardening this year. The main reason for this was our horrendously wet summer which dampened both my efforts and my enthusiasm.
Still, I did manage to harvest a reasonable crop of potatoes and strawberries, and today it has been the turn of the apples and the tomatoes. Unfortunately due to the complete absence of the sun over the last five months the tomatoes remain stubbornly unripe. But with the mornings growing ever colder I wanted to get them off the plants before the first frosts kills them.
The solution? Green tomato and apple chutney of course.
Once it’s cooked you’re supposed to let it mature for about a week before trying it. But patience has never been one of my virtues and I snuck a sneaky spoonful before putting it in the jars. It is good. In fact it is damn good.
It’s so good that I think I could market it. Here is a breakdown of my costs:
Tomato seeds & grow bags: £5.00
Apple tree saplings x3: £22.50
Big cooking pan: £10.99
Additional ingredients: £8.83
Jars: £5.16 (I couldn’t find any empty ones so I had to buy jars with stuff already in them)
Labour (charged at national minimum wage): £38.64
Total: £91.12
I’ve managed to get three pretty big jars worth out of the pan, and so including tax each jar will sell for £35.68. Let’s call it £36 just to give me a bit of a profit margin (that’s around $72 for our brethren in the colonies).
So, who wants one? I will accept personal checks or paypal.
Does that include shipping charges?
If you washed your hands it just wouldn’t be nearly as tastey!
Hi, this is my first visit here and I found your blog to be an interesting read :)
You know, with the increase of all essential products here in my country, I’m inclined to become a farmer and start start harvesting my own food, unfortunately there are two things stopping me, namely the first being, I don’t have no space to grow anything and the second is I can’t grow anything even if my life depended upon it, so I’ll just have to continue by those inflated goods …. siggghhhh … LOL!
Ahhh, one of my all-time favorite songs, “Harvest Festival” by XTC.
Our garden sucked this year, all we got out of it was green beans and peas. Which was great, but most of the garden was corn, carrots, tomatoes, and peppers. So, a 15% yield at best.
What’s your secret?
Why does it look like it’s looking at us out of the jars?
Even without washing your hands, it still must be better than the stuff we are getting from China.
:)
Bradley
The Egel Nest
Can you just send me a small container.
Being that you’re an ace self sufficient gardener now, even though your family will have to survive on chutney until, or if, we get a summer next year, then can I ask a question ?
When will the pears on my neighbours tree be ready ?
The bit of the tree that faces my garden has a healthy crop on it and with the aid of a stick with a hook on it, it will be overgrowing into my garden soon and therefore mine to plunder – but I reckon I could do a midnight raid anytime soon and snaffle the whole tree-worth.
Will they be ripe yet, I’d hate to go to all that trouble and then have to use them as hardcore for the new patio.
Dan, I too was chutney-ing last night. Spiced blackberry chutney was my choice yesterday evening.
Blackberries – free. Gathered alongside the canal with your lady wife last month. Also managed to pick a couple of kilos-worth at work!
Sugar – very little cost as already had some in – 5 pence?
Two red chillis – 25p – reduced at the co-op from 85p!
Root ginger – always in the house as Neil likes to do things with fresh ginger…
Onions – 50p
Red wine vinegar – found some at the back of the cupboard – nearly at the use by date but hey ho, should be ok.
Jars – nowt. I annoy Neil by hoarding jars from January to October, then I use about 15 in my annual jam/chutney/marmalade making frenzy so we have to take the rest to the recycling skip in Lindley (still, makes a change from wine and beer bottles).
I have not tried mine yet, save from licking the spoon. I burnt my mouth but whether that was the chilli or the temperature I don’t know. I’m therefore dubious about passing any on to any but the brave!
You got some great food shots!
I can’t afford your chutney, sorry. I think you’d better market exclusively to stars and pro-athletes. Doctors and lawyers can’t afford this shit.
What about a trade? A jar of your delicious chutney for a bag full of hard, over-ripe and inedible green beans, green onions that taste exactly like the compost they were grown in, and a bunch of pithy radishes. I’ll also throw in some non-existent pumpkins and squash for free.
Love the photo montage. Very Redbook.
What happened in 1997 to cause you to stop washing your hands?
Is chutney a British thing?
I would totally buy some, but with shipping and changing that to American dollars…well sorry. Just too rich for my blood. Even if you forgot to wash your hands….!
I have exactly the same things in my kitchen, loads of apples, green tomatoes and home grown onions. I was looking for a receipe! I will let you know how it works out with Norfolk produce.
“Root ginger – always in the house as Neil likes to do things with fresh ginger”
So I’ve heard Rachael. Doesn’t it sting though?
Update…
I snaffled one pear off my neighbours tree today.
They are nice, they are sweet, if a little hard on the outside.
Tomorrow morning I arise early with bucket in hand, I reckon I can snaffle a couple of stone before he arises and goes to the paper shop.
I have pears for sale people, will ship worldwide.
Brilliant solution for those green tomatoes! Wish I could have a taste :-)
Just want this clear before you read the next sentence. I do not garden and have a irrational hatred of it. All info in my head has been planted (boom, boom) there by the Horticulturalist brother, the Retired with an Allotment Father and the ‘Just doing a bit of weeding’ Mother. K?
To get tomatoes to ripen when you, well, live in England (Land of Hope and Grey Clouds) put them in brown paper bags and put in a dark drawer for a few days. Bingo, redness.
why should i buy yours, when you’ve provided the recipe? duh.
£91.12! That’s only like $4 billion US dollars!
That looks awesome and you have invoked the ugly green monster of envy once again. I call him Envyosity the Destructor, we keep him in the corner of the lounge room next to the fern.
All I seem to be able to harvest these days are green chillies and the odd cherry tomato. There’s only so much chutney can work with!
Thats the worst looking salsa I’ve seen. Oh wait…chutney…ah never mind. That’s the finest looking chutney I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.