Last night driving home from work I heard a ping sound. Looking down at my dashboard I saw a little orange symbol flashing merrily away.
I have absolutely no idea what this means. What is worse, when I used the car to take the kids to nursery this morning the symbol was gone. Does this mean that the problem is resolved? Or was it a “CAUTION! The warning lights on your dashboard are about to malfunction” symbol? Only time will tell. If you read in the news about my car exploding in a horrific fireball of burning death then you’ll know what’s happened.
Of course I could look up the symbol in the manual, but unfortunately I have a Y chromosome. Being a male means that any consultation with written instructions is strictly against the law. My only hope is that Kerry notices the light and looks at the manual herself. When she then tells me that the flux capacitor is defibrillating I shall nod wisely and inform her I had thought it was all along.
The key thing is that no laws will be broken. It is important that rules are adhered to otherwise society as we know it may break down into total anarchy. For example, during their recent visit to England we took our friends Greg and Deb to the supermarket. Greg has an addiction to Colman’s English Mustard which is apparently hard to get hold of in the USA.
Everything went swimmingly until we reached the checkout.
“Do you want any help with your packing” asked the lady at the till as she swiped his eight tubes of mustard through the bar code scanner.
“Yes please.” replied Greg.
A deathly hush descended over the entire supermarket. It was broken only when the blind, deaf paraplegic who was gamely trying to pack his own groceries in the checkout next to ours dropped a can of beans on the floor. Then an angry swell of outraged mutters and whispers spread throughout the shop. “Did he just say what I thought he said?”, “disgraceful!”, “why can’t he do his own bloody packing?”, “someone call security”, “Yankee go home”.
I did my best to calm the waters of course, making stammering apologies and explaining they were unused to our civilized ways. But this morning I notice that the Prime Minister has announced that the British army is making a phased reduction in their support of American troops in Iraq. I can’t help thinking the two things are related.
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on Oct 2nd, 2007 at 12:43 pm
And clearly, the flashing light means that the flange is being affected by the third whangdoodle on the right under the shazbat.
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on Oct 2nd, 2007 at 1:48 pm
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on Oct 2nd, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Less time packing groceries, more time winning the war.
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on Oct 2nd, 2007 at 3:16 pm
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on Oct 2nd, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Bradley
The Egel Nest
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on Oct 2nd, 2007 at 6:57 pm
from our point of view, if you take it upon yourself to pack your own groceries, you’re left with the guilt of taking the job of a sixteen year old who’s trying to earn money for college. i’m sure you would get a very similar reaction to what you witnessed! “what?! so, i’m not worthy of touching your mustard? i hope your bag splits open in the parking lot because you’ve chosen to cram a carton of milk, a jar of speghetti sauce AND a dozen eggs in that flimsy bag. idiot.”
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on Oct 2nd, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Ignore them, I always do, eventually they stop flashing, usually after the car has had its annual service.
On the other hand, its impossible to destroy a Nissan.
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on Oct 2nd, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Oh, no need to say it – I already know I’m a smartass.
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on Oct 3rd, 2007 at 3:37 am
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on Oct 3rd, 2007 at 6:49 am
In regards to the light flashing on your dash for some odd reason I’m reminded of Douglas Adams and the black spaceship whose lights and dials were all in black so you couldn’t tell if they were flashing against the black dashboard.
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on Oct 3rd, 2007 at 12:14 pm
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