Jeff recently posted an arial view of his seven bedroomed mansion. Not to be outdone I am posting a satellite photo of our own decrepit hovel. Now all you murderous psychopaths out there are one step closer to pinpointing where we live.
Speaking of stalkers, in just over two weeks Greg and Deb are taking a couple of days out of their tour of Ireland in order to fly over to England to see us. There are a number of things we have to do before they arrive:
- Tidy. Tidy like we’ve never tidied before. Tidy like the wind.
- Figure out how the vacuum cleaner works. And what’s “dusting” anyhow?
- Work out why the bathroom light keeps flickering on and off randomly, particularly when you are in mid flow.
- Dye the carpet a dark brown color in order to match the stain in it’s center.
- Retrieve all the gifts they’ve given us from out of the attic.
- “What these? Oh we get fresh flowers delivered to out home every weekend”
- Persuade Amy that wearing clothes in the house is a Good Thing.
- Petition Kirklees council to reopen the Postcard Museum. Ok, so it was the most boring place on earth, but it was also the only tourist attraction we had goddamn it.
- Make reservations for a table for four at Macdonalds in order to make our American guests feel at home.
- Clean out the car. Or just get a new car, that might be quicker.
- Get in a fresh supply of marmite.
Strangely enough, it all seems worth it to see our friends again.
Very interesting lot shape. Are your houses connected to each other or does it just look like that from the clouds? Bonus points for you title by the way. Shouldn’t I have thought of that?
“Dye the carpet a dark brown color in order to match the stain in it’s center.”
Isn’t that what the coffee table is for?
I like this idea. I might have to steal it and post an aerial view of my house.
Is that you in the backyard… sunbathing… in the nude?
Thre is Tunnel End ( Longest and deepest canal tunnel in UK)a decent walk & train jouirney back. The roundabouts on Hudds ring road should be good panic inducing entertainment. You could borrow the boat. What about York? Megan has a guide to all the alleyways. Skipton is a fine example of a Yorkshire market town.
We can’t wait. We can gather your carpet-dying tips to try in our living room. As you know, we have children too, plus we have cats!
You’ll have to let us know when they’re here and we’ll try and nip round to say hello…
Jeff- yes, the houses are connected. We call it a terrace over here, not sure if you do over there. A large proportion of houses in our area are terraces.
As for the title, I was a little surprised you hadn’t used that myself.
Ah, but now we know where you live, any of us can just “stop by” at any time. You’ll have no chance to do any of the above before we get there. And, boy, will you be embarrassed when we notice all your dust :)
I know, I should have thought of that title, but I’m glad you did anyway. I’m usually a lot more clever AFTER I publish a post. In fact, many of my most brilliant pieces were (never) written the following day.
[...] decided to follow the meme (post #1, post #2) of posting Google Maps and MSN Live maps of your home. I spent a little time pondering [...]
I mean it’s one thing to paint your fence that godawful psycho-red, but putting in on the trees and roof just so you can see your lot from outer space is just plain insane man.