I have a theory that there is one thread that links all of the great philosophers throughout history. They each had chronic bowel problems. Socrates, Plato, Spinoza, Nietzsche; each and every one of them spent countless hours sitting on the toilet lost in contemplative thought, their concentration broken only periodically by the need to make little “nnng†straining noises. It is my belief that the sole reason there are no truly great modern philosophers is the proliferation of high fibre breakfast cereals and newspaper’s Sunday supplement magazines.
I was sitting battling with my own intestinal blockage the other day contemplating my own mortality when I began to wonder when I would see my last otter. It is entirely possible that I may realise when I have my last meal, or see my loved ones for the final time, I might even get enough advanced warning to compose my last words (I’m favouring “ To infinity and beyond!“ at the moment). But I’m unlikely to recognise when I see my last ever otter. I mean, you don’t really see them that often anyway – maybe in a zoo or something, but that could be years away from my death. Similarly, when will I have my last glass of red wine? I don’t even like red wine so I could well have already had it. A sobering thought.
The time is fast approaching when I will no longer be able to throw Amy in the air and catch her, she’s just getting too big. In a few years this will be true for Evan too. There will be a point in the future when I no longer read the kids bed time stories, or give them baths, or put them in their car seats. My life as it is now will be shed like old skin, replaced by new routines and experiences. And while I look forward with optimism to what the future holds, it still makes me a little sad to see my past disappear behind me.
on Aug 26th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Y’know, I’ve been having not dissimilar thoughts of late. Actually, since he was born. On the other hand, it also helps me get through those times when I feel I really just don’t have the energy to read Mr Tickle and the Dragon AGAIN for the umpteenth time. Because there’ll be a time all to quickly when I’ll give anything to be able to read him Mr Tickle again. Hard though it is to imagine at the moment, admittedly.
on Aug 26th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
This post made it to the “Quite Interesting Thing” section on my blog, although to be honest you could have written about the roadworks on the M4 and I’d have been squeeing about the Ben Folds Five reference in the title. :-)
on Aug 26th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Those are some deep thoughts Mr. Handy. I propose that perhaps you’re spending just a bit too much time on the pooper. I also propose that you partake in some of those high fiber cereals. ;-)
p.s. Your spell checker didn’t catch your misspelling of fibre.
on Aug 26th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Man Dan, Why’d you go and post something like this on a night when I am sitting in front of my computer cursing my $%#$%# career choice and not getting to put my boy to bed…how long will it before he isn’t sleeping on me while I read before going to sleep…and how long before it isn’t cool to give papa a good morning kiss…now I am going to have to write my own soppy post. You bastard.
Henry
on Aug 26th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
You are right of course, its been many a year since I tucked either of my two into bed and read them a story - mind they’d be calling for the men in white coats if I did it now.
And yet it only seems like yesterday - you have to hold onto these days for as long as you can but ultimately they will vanish and leave just your memories.
And I’ll let you into a secret that I never revealed on my blog last week - my 15 year old daughter wanted to come to Edinburgh with me, I had a family room booked, I wanted her to come with me, we would have had a ball - but I wouldn’t take her.
Why ?
Because it felt wrong - a father and his 15 year daughter sharing a room, it just felt wrong - how bad does that sound, how can it be wrong and yet how else would it have looked - life is not fair sometimes, you need to hold onto what you have right now and record everything.
on Aug 26th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
How very true.
Back in the mid 80’s - I read a “Dear Ann” or “Dear Abby” letter in the newspaper. The writer talked about how everyone focus on “baby’s first…” (step, tooth, words, etc), and while all that is fun and important, it overshadows the “Lasts” (Last time your child will sit on your lap while you read to them, the last time they need help in the bathroom, etc…). That column brought tears to my eyes (as a teenage boy - very unusual). I clipped it out and kept it in my wallet for years. It got ruined after one too many times of falling into the lake while still in my pocket, and trips through the washing machine.
Also, on a related note, my wife still tears up when she reads the book Love you Forever.
If you have not had a chance to ever read this book, do so! It is very touching (even for a father!)
Nice post - thanks for bringing back the memory of that column I clipped so many years back… It’s easy to want to grow your children up, but it’s not so easy making them younger again…
David, the “Father of Five“
on Aug 27th, 2007 at 12:23 am
old memories are why photography was invented! my sons have grown to be my confidants and cohorts. i did enjoy their childhood, but their adulthood is equally enjoyable. last weekend i saw Superbad with six twenty-somethings and we all laughed as asses off! you can’t do that with a couple of toddlers!
seriously though, dan, you’re talking like things will just stop one day. they don’t stop, they just change a little. where you once read stories together, you now surf youtube! it’s all good! just remember to continue hugging and kissing those little ones as they become big ones.
there’s plenty of good times to come. trust me.
on Aug 27th, 2007 at 12:51 am
That mortality is a bitch, ain’t it?
on Aug 27th, 2007 at 7:23 am
I remember my husband complaining years ago about how where the children would swing there was a bare spot in the yard from dragging their feet on the ground. I chided him just a bit and said, “You know, in not too many years the grass will grow back over that spot. I hope it stays bare a little longer.”
on Aug 27th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Hi, just replying to your email…
Yes, I deleted it. :)
I was just really, really sick of that blog. It reminded me of what has been an absolutely hideous chapter of my life and although that was not in anyway connected to the blog… it just reminds me of it, you know? Because it coincided in time.
If I start another one I’ll do it after our trip, no point in starting one right before going away, you know?
But thank you thank you thank you for all your reading of and commenting on my blog while it lasted, it was very sweet of you!
Take care, and see you round your comments section!
Amelia
on Aug 27th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Don’t forget how the tide of religion was changed by Martin Luther’s gastric distress. I read not long ago that “they” have found Martin Luther’s famous loo. How they figured it out for a fact, I don’t want to know, but there you go.
on Aug 27th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Wait? What? You mean I’m gonna die? Son of a gun… that’s totally not cool.
Yeah, everyday I get out of bed I say to myself that it could be for the last time. But not because I think I’ll die. But, someday, I just want to stay in bed. Forever.
on Aug 28th, 2007 at 9:36 am
was that l.a. daddy or Brian Wilson?
on Aug 29th, 2007 at 5:34 am
Well, we otter just be glad for the time we have.