- The high tensile strength they exert is slowly ripping out our wooden banisters by the roots.
- The gap to walk through is one centimeter narrower than my fat arse.
- They keep randomly falling out at inopportune moments
- They provide a time consuming obstacle during a frantic last minute dash to the bathroom, increasing the odds of an unpleasant accident
- I have fallen down the stairs twice since I put them in.
- The bars add a prison like atmosphere to a previously freedom loving hallway.
- Amy can’t open them and so needs to be escorted upstairs, greatly hampering her ability to perform as a personal butler.
- The bars on the bottom hurt your feet if you stand on them without shoes.
- I can no longer bump down the stairs with Amy on my lap making dug-a-dug-a-dug noises.
- Kerry advised me which baby gates to buy, and I forgot what she told me and just got the cheapest, thus causing all the problems listed above. This makes Kerry right and me wrong. This is never a good thing.
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Who am I?
My name's Dan and I live near Huddersfield in the North of England. I’m a 34 years old part time stay at home dad. For three days a week I'm also a community mental health nurse but you won’t find me blogging about that here. I’m married to Kerry and we have two children - Amy (6) and Evan (3). I keep chickens, grow veg, and take the occasional long walk. If you want to know how other's describe me then take a look here.Where else to find me
Recent Comments
Hmmm, VERY good points. But I can’t help but think this is more about #10 than anything else. Although #7 is pretty important too.
Something tells me #10 is always the case, even when it isn’t.
Gates shmates. That’s what skulls are for.
Good grief. This parenting business sounds a bit harsh.
I shall be securing my, ah, baby gates.
You don’t need baby gates if you attach very big and strong pieces of velcro to the underside of Evan and fix the other half of the velcro to where you want him to stay. This means Amy can still do butlering type jobs and you can get to the toilet quickly and without fuss when you need to.
Though of course you could just wear a big nappy…..
One of my happiest days was when I took down the baby gates. I fell over them a few times too.
Here’s a exclusive for you as I never put this on my blog…
Baby gates only work when you close them. TheMonk took a spill down about 20 stairs when he was about a year old because I forgot to close the gate at the top of the stairs.
Now you can see why I never posted that.
Then comes the awful day when your kid figures out how to circumvent the system. There are no alarms for such an instance, but there should be.
halelujah. we had to take the bannister down from one of the stairways. we have to put up FOUR f’ing gates.
gah.
there needs to be a forcefield and the caregiver can wear an amulet that allows entrance.
or electric shocks.
whichever is cheaper.