Siblings
on May 29 in General by DanEver since we heard that Kerry is pregnant again I’ve been worried. Not just about another year of sleepless nights or our impending bankruptcy, but about how Amy’s quality of life will change. We’ve always been very lucky in the amount of attention we’ve been able to give Amy. My working patterns and Kerry’s status as part time has enabled both of us to spend a lot of time with her. I don’t know of very many other fathers who see their children as much as I do; I only work four days a week, and even when I’m working I’m often at home during the morning to play with her as opposed to coming back just as she’s going to bed. When the baby arrives it is inevitable Amy is going to receive less time from us. Not only that but the new baby will never be able to receive the amount of attention that we were able to give its big sister.
Very few of my friends are only children, I myself have both a brother and a sister, so I know that Amy’s not going to grow up feeling cheated out of her rightful place as sole recipient of her parents love. Never the less its been bothering me, bothering me that is until this week when I had a sort of epiphany.
When Amy was born Kerry, being the gregarious soul that she is, struck up a friendship with the lady in the next bed on the maternity ward. Her name is Sam, and her son Cameron was born on the same day Amy was. Over the past two years Sam and Kerry have kept in touch, seeing each other around once every two weeks. It would be pretty fair to say that Amy and Cameron are best friends. Nothing can send Amy into squeals of delight more than the news that they are going to visit Cameron’s house, and we a reliably informed that this is the case for him as well. Last Wednesday both Kerry and I weren’t working and so we arranged to meet up with Sam and Cameron at the playgym. It was while I was watching them running around giggling and holding hands that I realised that a brother or sister is going to fill a pretty big hole in Amy’s life.
Sometimes Amy is lonely. Perhaps I need to clarify that: She is never actually alone; she’s always got an adult who cares deeply for her around, but never the less she has a longing to be with other kids. She goes to nursery twice a week and plays with her friends there. She sees Cameron regularly, along with various other friend’s children. She’s a sociable little girl and is always kind to others her age, if not a little bossy. And she adores babies. But when it comes down to it she spends most of her time in the company of grown ups.
In my limited experience children who are overexposed to adults become too precocious too quickly. They are those irritating seven year olds who talk to you as if you are their work colleague, trying to engage you in small talk while you just sit there and resist the urge to clip them round the ear. They take on the concerns of their parents and feel that sitting down in the mud and throwing worms at each other is somehow beneath them. No, that’s not for Amy. She needs a sibling who she can co-opt into grand schemes to persuade us to by chocolate biscuits from the supermarket, someone to concoct bizarre games that involve running to various points in the garden and standing on your head, someone to fall out with and demand her parents put up for adoption.
And the baby? The baby is going to be lucky because they are going to have that person right from the start.
Related posts:
- “I wee in the garden like holly, yes?”
- You’re never too old to torment your siblings.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- Nocternal negotiations
- When Amy met Evan
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