To all you Americans who are thinking that I omitted to pay tribute to the mother of my children on mother’s day yesterday, I’ll have you know that in England we hold the celebration on a different day than you Yanks. So I omitted to pay tribute on March 18th instead.
I’m glad we cleared that up.
Whilst we are on the subject of my failures as a human being I feel I should ask for a number of other offenses to be taken into account. I am ashamed to admit that, despite me painting a thoroughly rosy picture of my gardening activities to date, I have in fact experienced a couple of horticultural catastrophes recently.
Firstly one of my three lovely, lovely apple trees (the ones I was recently boasting about the health of) has mysteriously started to kick the bucket. I’m not quite sure what the reason for this is; I suspect it’s either that I planted it too far into the subsoil or that it’s caught some sort of unsightly disease. Whatever the cause I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I’ll be getting about a third less apples than I thought I would. Which isn’t so bad I suppose as I don’t really like apples that much anyway.
Looking on the bright side I could always dig the tree up and build a chicken coop in it’s place. Of course Kerry has repeatedly made clear her reluctance to join the poultry farming elite, and may well throw me out of the house if I went against her wishes. But all is not lost, I could always sleep in the coop. A plan with no drawbacks!
The other gardening disaster has been my chives. I had originally envisioned that I would have a border of chives and rosemary (two of the more permanent herbs) separating my vegetable beds in the back garden. Unfortunately despite me sowing about a bazillion little pots of the buggers it looks like I’m only going to have enough to fill around half a square inch of space. Without exception the seeds have all sprouted to be pathetic weedy looking specimens which can’t hold a candle to the sturdy and robust examples in the gardens of my youth. They just don’t make chives like they used to anymore it seems.
I’ve moved all the little pots from the plastic greenhouse to the outside windowsill in the chance that a little more light might strengthen them a bit, but I hold out little hope. I might as well have planted bloody cress.
So unfortunately it looks like all those people I had promised a bowl of my famous chive and apple soup are in for a big disapointment. Strangely no one I’ve told about that seems to be bothered all that much. Putting a brave face on it I expect.
on May 14th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Nearly everything that I’ve ever tried to plant by myself that was then dependant upon to me to maintain it subsequently up and died. If it was up to someone else to maintain, it typically thrived, which I supposed indicates that I’m good at sticking plants in dirt, but not their follow-up care. I hope that doesn’t symbolize any deeper-seated shortcoming of mine.
on May 15th, 2007 at 12:02 am
You may not have gotten any chives, but you did get a nice picture!
on May 15th, 2007 at 4:36 am
I had bad luck with chives last year…and I started with plants not seeds. This year we’re trying more mint and basil…which are pretty good at spreading.
The chive and apple soup sounds good to me…I’ll try almost anything.
on May 15th, 2007 at 5:34 am
I have to say for a plant that people say is fairly easy to grow I have all sorts of trouble with chives and I’ve no idea why. It’s really frustrating. Maybe I’ll have another shot at them.
on May 15th, 2007 at 10:05 am
I’ve been doing a bit of gardening myself of late. I’m trying to grow blueberries in the desert. We shall see.
on May 15th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
The key to blueberries apparently is an acid soil. So there you go.