The world according to our next door neighbor Eric.
- Direct debits are an evil plot by banks in order to close down post offices.
- Wild rats don’t spread disease, can be tamed, and should be fed just like garden birds.
- The women in the local charity shop have hatched a plot to cheat him out of money.
- The gas used in low energy light bulbs is poisonous and was banned up until a year ago.
- Kerry and I are trying to steal his garden from him.
- The council deliberately block his gutter so they can charge him to come round and fix it.
- Toilets should be cleaned by emptying an entire bottle of washing up liquid into it as it clears the pipes.
- The council should pay him to take his rubbish as “there’s some valuable stuff in there”.
- TCP is an aftershave.
I can say that the low energy light bulbs that I recently installed are not to be thrown in the “rubbish bin”. I’m not sure what to do with them should they not last the 7 years claimed.
Otherwise, maybe he is a bit touched. Unless you really are trying to steal his garden.
It’s tempting to steal his garden. After all who wouldn’t like bramble ridden wasteground full of broken glass.
Actually, we wouldn’t mind it to be honest, he’s got a little corner to the left of our garden which if we had it would take our garden right to the boundary of the neighboring field. He has the theory that we’re trying to steal it because I left a couple of bags of sand on top of his wall for a few months.