There is a burning debate raging across the blogosphere (well, on Deb and Bon Bon’s blogs anyway) over a philosophical question that is older than Socrates himself. A question which has divided nations, pitted brother against brother, parent against child. It is one of the great polarizing questions of our time, and needs to be handled in a sensitive and diplomatic manner. The question is: which is better dogs or cats?
Never being one to shy away from the cut and thrust of such controversies I thought I’d better intervene and sort the whole thing out once and for all. For the purposes of this exercise I shall be using examples of both Canis lupus familiaris and Felis catus domesticus from my own personal experience.
Holly
Holly is our dog (or rather my dog according to Kerry). She’s about five years old, of mixed heritage, and as mad as a bag of spanners. And that’s not just mad as in jumping up all over people and being overly boisterous (although she sometimes is that too); no, she has some deep rooted psychological problems. She will wander around the house for hours on end with a stolen sock in her mouth, whining like she has had an entire litter of puppies stolen from her. If given the opportunity she will leap on the bed and suck, not chew, the duvet until she has created a wet patch of dog saliva as big as a dinner plate. We have a theory that these behaviors are due to her being taken from her mother too young, but have no way of confirming this as she was a rescue dog. Whatever the reason, she is completely neurotic.
Tobi
Tobi is my mothers cat. She’s about six months old, jet black, and completely crazy in the coconut. She will hide in the dark shadows of the room, silently biding her time, until, at the moment that you are least expecting it, she will launch a completely unprovoked attack - leaping onto your arm, leg, or head - a biting, clawing and scratching whirlwind of black furred fury. We had her at our house once when my mother was on holiday and every time that Amy walked past she emitted a thunderous growl that was only two decibels off being classified as a roar. Don’t let the cute facade fool you, she is quite clearly a psychopath.
So there you have it, do you want a pet that is neurotic or one that is psychopathic? While the two specific examples I have used are perhaps to the extremes of the spectrum, I think the theory holds up to generalization too. Dogs are eager to please emotional doormats, while cats are aloof self obsessed manipulators. So the real choice is between a pet that will keep you up all night repeatedly asking if you really really love them, or one that will simply murder you in your sleep.
I wonder how much goldfish cost?
We’re both allergic to cats so put us down for dogs.
I like both dogs and cats, but have mostly been a cat owner throughout my life. Right now we have two 10-year-old cats. My son is an avowed cat lover AND dog hater. I understand how he grew to love cats, but don’t know where the animosity toward dogs comes from.
The weird thing is that he absolutely loves Scooby-Doo. If I point out the double standard, he gets confused and upset.
We put our cats in the basement (it’s a nice one) each night. Otherwise they’d roam the house crying for attention.
Hell, goldfish are cheap. We’ve killed several $0.39ers over a period of, oh, a month or so.
This is why we have cats–so we can stop having fish funerals.
You know you’re supposed to keep them in water don’t you Deb?
Pussy cats are the best of course, I grant that they couldn’t seek you out amidst rubble after an earthquake or pull you on a sled, but they are prozac in feline form, don’t slaver anywhere near as much as dogs and when they go to sleep on your lap, wrapped up in their little circle of clam making little sing song snorey purry noises its one of the most beautiful things in the world.
Plus they don’t roll in the pooh of other species to mask their smell.
However they do commit mass genocide of the surrounding small animals and birds and leave their bleeding and still twitching corpses laying around the house.
Our cats (13 and 12) have given up on mass-evisceration of small mammals (and I have to admit, I do miss the little gestures of affection in the form of mouse offal left at the kitchen door in a perverse sort of way). They’ve never been particularly neurotic, they just make it clear that it’s their house and they let us live in it. And that they want some more food please. And when is that miniature human leaving? I think I’ve blogged elsewhere that living with cats is the nearest experience any of us will get to actually living with extra-terrestrials. Dogs are just too anthropomorphized.
I once heard it put this way:
If dogs were twice as big, on average, it would be ok. Indeed, we have many breeds that are more than twice as big as the average.
If cats were twice as big, on average, they would probably be illegal to keep in your home.
Put me down for dog. If I have time, I will write my own post on this.
i’m guessing Deb’s cats are eating all her goldfish.
Not all puss cats commit genocide of other small creatures. Mine doesn’t……but thats because she’s only allowed out under supervision as she hates all other living things of whatever size and cannot resist starting a fight.
*cough* Psychopath *cough*
I’m sure that our new kittens would find a way into a fishbowl, but our older cats didn’t succeed in doing any fishing.
There’s an easy solution to the evisceration problem, by the way–don’t let the cats outside. As a side bonus, they’ll be around longer in your life.
Our cats have always been very patient with the sometimes rough handling of the miniature humans. No significant scratches resulted and no bites (cause Greg would kill the felines).
I’ve had both and prefer the dogs to the cats except that you can’t leave dogs by themselves for a week or two.
*cough* Psychopath *cough* lol!!
our cats are indoor/outdoor. cam (Cornflakes And Milk) is approximately 13, so i’m guessing if he were strickly indoors, according to Deb, he will live to be 37. once in a great while, he’ll kill a chipmunk or something, but being as laid back as he is, that chipmunk was probably suicidal.
Dwayne, hense my analogy, dogs are to toddlers what cats are to teenagers. only, the cat will never mature and come to appreciate that time you kicked him out because he needed to experience some personal growth.
“strictly”…sorry, i can’t spell worth a shitte.
Winston Churchill once said:
“a dog looks up to you, a cat looks down on you, but a pig will look you straight in the eye.”
Not sure what relevance that has though.
Sometimes cats wander into microwaves. It’s tragic and sad but iit happens. We’re not sure how the microwave gets turned on but …..
OK….I’ll take dogs eight days a week and 4 times on Sunday.
I’m the first one to admit that I’m just not an animal person. I had a cat for a week, but it drove me nuts! In general though, I think a dog would be better because dogs are more “grounded.” I say that because I’ve never once seen a dog jump on top of a refrigerator! I find that sort of behavior very unsettling…
True but at least cats don’t sniff one anothers rear ends ;-)