One of the most valuable of these is my friendship with Greg. His was the first blog I ever read, and the inspiration for me starting up my own. Admittedly he has let his blog go to fallow a little bit over the past couple of years, but trust me when I say he is the one true hidden genius of the blogging world. I have yet to read anyone who is as funny or as good a writer as him. I keep trying to persuade him into going into a joint blog venture with me, but the swine keeps refusing. No doubt seeing through my transparent efforts to bask in his glory.

Greg and I read each other’s blogs for a while. Then we emailed each other for a bit, sent a few gifts back and forth, and then started having video chats. Soon I became friends with his wife Deb too, and Kerry soon got in on the act. In no time at all they had turned from internet acquaintances into valued family friends.

In 2007 Kerry and I took the plunge and went to visit Greg and Deb for a couple of days as part of our holiday to Chicago. Then in the autumn of the same year they came over here for a couple of days as an extension their trip to Ireland.

And now that we’re pretty confident they aren’t a couple of depraved sex maniacs we’re planning on going back again this April. This time for ten days, and we’re taking the kids too.

There is something that is concerning me about our flights however. Our outbound flight from Manchester leaves at 10:35am and arrives in Chicago at 12:55pm, taking just two hours twenty two minutes. Whereas on the way back we leave America at 5:40pm and don’t land back in England until 7:40am the following day. That’s fourteen hours! Even taking into account that it’s downhill on the way there (nowhere is more Northern than Yorkshire) that just doesn’t make any sense. Kerry keeps trying to tell me that it’s all to do with the time being different in America, but I know that’s a load of rubbish. We were there a couple of years ago and I distinctly remember it getting both light and dark at around the same time that it does over here.

Anyhow, all that aside, both Kerry and I are getting increasingly excited about our trip. We’re forgoing any time in Chicago this time around as we’ve decided as we don’t really want to pay for a hotel. And anyway, surely there can’t be much left in the city worth visiting that we didn’t cover in our three days there in 2007? It’s not like it’s a thriving cultural mecca like Huddersfield or anything.

So we’re going to spend all our time in Madison, Wisconsin. There have been a few emails flying back and forth between the Hughes and the Lee households and it appears that Greg has quite an exciting itineracy lined up for us. Here’s an extract from his last email:

I want you to get the “real” American experience. That’s why I’ve got lists of things for the entire family to do like shopping and laundry. You will want to contrast and compare U.S. cleaning products to your own throughout the inside of the house while I’m sure Kerry will enjoy exterior home maintainence (including wood splitting and concrete spackling). It’ll be April so if Evan is tall enough we may be able to introduce him to American lawn mowing. If he’s not, Amy will mow and Evan will get a first-hand crack at how people in the U.S. insulate their attics.

God I love that man.

I’ve been doing a bit of my own investigation into the opportunities for the tourist in Madison. After all, we are talking about the birthplace of Libby Riddles - The first woman to win the Iditarod sled dog race. I shouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t an entire theme park dedicated to her or something.

Of course it doesn’t help that we were in the area two years ago and probably covered most of the tourist attractions back then. Or at least the ones that will be open in the spring anyhow. We would like to revisit The House on the Rock though, if only to demonstrate that Amy will freak out about being in the dark with a bunch of sinister dolls just as much as his daughter Julia did back when we went last time.

But really we’re not going in order to gorge on tourist attractions and museums. We’re going because we want to spend time relaxing as a family and because we miss our friends and want to see them again.

But I’d also like to see you too. I know America is a pretty big place (apparently it’s even larger than Yorkshire), and so most people reading this aren’t anywhere near Madison Wisconsin. But if you are, or are likely to be between Friday 2nd of April then how about meeting up for dinner? I promise I’ll be on my best behavior and wont embarrass you in the restaurant.

Well. Maybe just a little bit.

Geg and Dan inspect the clapper of the replica Liberty Bell in the Madison State Capital building

However just recently the tables have been turned. As a result of his recent Peppa Pig obsession Evan has now decided he will refer to me as “Daddy Pig”.

Not only is this highly insulting, it’s also preposterous. I mean I don’t look anything like him!

Oh. Well. Maybe just a little bit.

*Oink*

Don’t ask.

Oh well, if you really must know I’ll tell you:

This is Evan dressed up as the Virgin Mary. There is a bit of a craze for the nativity story in our house, and it seems to be living on well after Christmas. Some of the costumes are a little unorthodox to say the least and the whole thing raises my secular hackles (I hadn’t realized that I’d graduated from agnosticism to atheism until Amy came home from school talking about baby Jesus)

Still, I’ll add the photo to the “Pictures to show Evan’s first girlfriend” pile so I suppose all’s not in vain.

This year however feels a little different. For one thing I’m not working and we’re actually going to a New Years party (although the process of sorting this out has been only slightly less complex than the middle east peace process). But the main difference however, is that I’ll be celebrating the end of a year in which I have made some real achievements.

Sure I’ve achieved things in the past. I’ve got two university degrees, a good job, a fantastic wife and two wonderful kids. I’ve even watched the first seven Star Trek films in one sitting. But these are accomplishments that evolved rather than were achieved. They were the natural by-product of the way I happened to be living my life at the time. There was no Herculean efforts involved. No triumphs over adversary. (Hang on, did I just call my wife and children “natural by-products”? I think I did. Quick, lets move on before Kerry notices).

But in 2008 I did some stuff. I walked 76 miles, I was the instigator in raising over £6000 for a charity that is very important to me, and I’ve lost a total of 57lb on my diet. And putting all false modesty and self depreciation aside, I’m pretty proud of myself. These were things that were difficult to do, things that took me several miles outside my comfort zone, and things that on many occasions I seriously considered giving up on. I made a choice to do something positive, and then I followed through with it. Bloody marvelous.

So now I know I’ve got it in me, now what?

Well, here’s where the new years resolutions come in.

• I’m going to lose another 28lb, which will take me into the overweight section of the body mass index rather than obese. It is my considered view that the body mass index is a bunch of arse designed purely to make me feel miserable. I suspect that this 28lb is going to be just as hard, if not harder, to lose as all the previous 57lb put together.
• I’m going to learn how to play the ukulele properly. Nothing fancy, just chords. But I want to be able to get a decent strumming pattern going and be able to caterwaul along without losing my concentration.
• I’m going to climb (read walk up) Ben Nevis. The highest mountain in the UK.

And here is a tentative one:

• I’m going to run a half marathon (13 miles).

  I say tentative because I reserve the right to back out on this one. My knees are a bit dodgy and I started to get pains in my shins after just a six mile walk the day before yesterday so god knows what running it would have done to me. Never-the-less I saw Run Fatboy Run the other day and for some strange reason it inspired me somewhat. I’m not going to do it for charity. I’m probably not even going to do it in any formal organized event type thing. But I am going to run for 13 miles, for the simple reason I never thought I would be able to.

Added to these resolutions are the usual ones about trying to be a better dad, husband, nurse, and all round good egg. But they sort of go without saying, I would be doing those anyway as part of my general quest to be a reasonable human being. But this year I’m going to try to go above and beyond again, because I’ve discovered it’s a nice feeling when you get there.

“But Amy you’ve already had your breakfast - You had two bars of chocolate this morning”

I’m probably going to take another hiatus, this time until the new year; so I’ll see you in 2009.

Greg what have you done?

In other, none ukulele, news (by the way, did you know that the uke was introduced to Hawaii by Portuguese immigrants in the 1880s?) Christmas is definitely making it’s presence known in the Hughes household.

When I was younger I had a notorious reputation within my family of being able to guess what presents I and my siblings were getting before they were opened. I did this through a subtle and complex methodology involving psychology, probability calculations, and dropping the parcels on the floor to see if they made breaking noises.

I was no amateur at this, I really did have a talent for gift analysis and prediction. It’s a shame there was never a CSI: Santa’s Grotto as I’d have been a shoe in for a spot in the forensic team.

These days unfortunately my talents are woefully under utilized. So far under our tree there are only two presents for me - a pair of socks from Amy and a DVD from my brother. Hardly a challenge for a man of my abilities. Of course I’m not sure what the DVD actually is, but I have a pretty good idea. I would reveal my guess here on the blog, but that would seem a little ungrateful somehow. If anyone doubts my prowess then I am more than happy to email them my prediction and they can act as independent adjudicator.

Sometimes my talent can feel like more of a curse than a blessing. By knowing what 90% of my presents are in advance I often spoil Christmas for myself. The flip side of this of course is that I also have the ability to spoil my sibling’s Christmases too. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Unfortunately this year my ability to impose misery on my brother and sister is severely restricted by the fact that they, along with my mother, have jetted off to Morocco for the holidays. The bastards.

Still, maybe my time has now passed. Maybe in the immortal words of Danny Glover “I’m too old for this shit”. Perhaps my reign as Present Guesser Extraordinaire has expired and it’s time to hand the baton onto the next generation:

Some schools are even using ukes to teach as a first instrument rather than the recorder. Makes sense to me as so far it’s been very easy to learn.

Anyhow, here’s another heartstoppingly exciting video. I promise this will be my last one for the foreseeable future. I’m just a little uke obsessed at the moment and need to get it out of my system.

*warning* I attempt to sing on this one.