There is a secret to gardening that they don’t tell you in any of the books or TV shows. But it’s a secret that’s well worth knowing none-the-less:
Always take your glasses off before you go out to do some work in the garden.
This year alone I have lost two pairs of glasses in our back garden. These joined the pair I lost last year and also possibly my iPod touch (the loss of which still brings a tear to my eye in my more unguarded moments).
It happens the same way each time. I go out there vowing not to take them off my head. Then I start to dig a hole or something and begin to sweat. And as we’ve established already (on BBC Radio no less), I’m a very sweaty man.
Soon the glasses start to start to slip off my head when I’m bent over. And so, subconsciously, I take them off my head and put them down somewhere safe.
And they are never seen again.
Of course it’s obviously not me who’s to blame. No, that would be ridiculous. it’s those bloody megalomaniac chickens, that’s who. I’m not entirely sure why they keep stealing my glasses, but I’m pretty sure it’s something to do with incorporating the lenses in some sort of death ray device.
Anyhow, I’m three pairs of glasses down but I’ve finally learnt my lesson. Today I’ve spent about seven hours in the garden and my specs have remained firmly on the lounge mantelpiece, well out of the reach of kleptomaniac hens. I WIN!
Plus, I got a hell of a lot done up there today. There is nothing more satisfying than a bit of physical graft.
The main thing I did was a complete clean and disinfect of the chicken coop. I’ve been having awful problems with Red Mite recently. In fact I suspect they may have even had something to do with Evel Knievel’s death last month. She was broody and refused to get out of the coop and I think the little bastards may have caused her to become anemic.
I spent about £20 on various sprays and powders, which appeared to work for a little bit but within a week or two they were swarming as bad as before.
So now I’ve bought an industrial sized container of “Poultry Shield” and have thoroughly washed and scrubbed the coop again. I intend on doing it all again next weekend too. I hope it works as I’m not sure what I’ll do if it doesn’t. Apparently painting the inside of the coop with Creosote works wonders, but you aren’t actually allowed to buy the real stuff anymore.
While I had everything out I also gave the coop a rather spiffing coat of paint. I must admit I’m rather pleased with the outcome.
I also painted the kid’s wendy house as well (you can see it in the background of the photo). I have vague ideas of turning it into the Duckhouse for my imminent Indian Runners. However it’s current function as the place where I store all the crap is pretty useful too.
I’m half wondering if I should make a run for the ducks too. The chickens have one, although I nearly always leave it open so they can free range in the entire garden. However it can be quite useful when we go away so the neighbors don’t need to worry about letting them in and out. Any advice from people in the know would be gratefully received.
However, that’s something to mull over. Tomorrow, providing the weather is ok, I have a list of other jobs to tackle. I’m going to extend the guinea pig run, convert the sandpit to a rhubarb bed, and extending my tyre strawberry patch.
Things are pretty fun on Old McHughes farm at the moment.
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Nuts.
I have some hazel trees, but they haven’t looked like giving me any nuts this year unfortunately. Unless those damn chickens are stealing them too.
I have your glasses. A ransom note will be along shortly.
(Nice paint job by the way.)
Cut out of newspapers I hope
They look ace! Good colour choice babes. Now, if you could just paint our bedroom before I’m back tomorrow, that’ll be lovely :)
I’m not sure if I’m being a bit oversensitive, but I’ve been picking up some subtle hints about our bedroom recently.
I really love the colours you have chosen, I need someone to come and do my garden now!
Don’t do it! Don’t give anyone else that “I did that” satisfaction!
there’s a Dutch word for people who are shortsighted which losely translates as being ‘chicken-like’ (kippig). I wondered how we got that term…now I know.
Does that saying then go on to talk about those chicken like people being snatched from the toilet by T-Rexs?
no, not yet, but I’m sure we can make it work.
Lime will help to keep the parasites away and it is a lot less toxic than commercial preparations and sprays. We would lime wash the perches and walls of the coop and then chuck handfuls of lime on the straw in the chooks nesting boxes. Also add lime to the dirt where the girls had their dust baths.
We had a small water tank next to the chicken coop at Mum’s and every 6 months or so we would bruise a whole bulb of garlic and throw it into the water. The water smelled very garlicky but Mum’s chickens were always free of lice and other parasites.
Here I just have a large jam pot that is the chickens water container and I put about 6 or 8 bruised cloves of garlic into that.
As for Ducks they do amazing power-poos. So maybe a run might be a good idea. Also chickens and ducks will happily co-exist in a garden together but they don’t like to share the same pen. The ducks need to be able to submerge their whole head under water as well or they will have trouble with their eyes. My ducks like to pull whole seedlings out of the ground, they are quite brutal around young plants but wonderful in an established garden.
I’ve just bought a bathtub for my ducks, so that should keep them relatively happy water-wise.
I saw you mentioned Lime on twitter. That Poulty Shield is only basically soap and mild detergent. It works (apparently) by washing away the waxy coating on the mites and dehydrating them. We’ll see if it works.
I’m going to pick up some lime too as, it should keep the floor of the rin fresh too from what I’ve read.
Here’s how you take care of all your poultry concerns: 1) Have a big bbq at which you and your neighbors eat all the existing birds. 2) Clean the habitats with industrial chemicals.3) Put freezers in the hen house and wendy house (whatever that is). 4) Fill freezers with boneless, skinless chicken breasts and eggs from Costco.
You’re welcome.
A Wendy house is a kids playhouse. I found out the other day it’s actually named after Wendy in Peter Pan – as she “played house”
I mention it only because it’s quite interesting :)
I laughed at your last paragraph, then thought to myself, “Wait, I don’t think he’s joking.”
Also, if you hear Britney Spears blasting from the coop, you’ll know they’ve found your iTouch.
My chickens are more into Wagner
Mate, you’ve buried your specs and your phone. In a few hundred years they’ll find them when doing some kind of archeological dig.
I hope they don’t find the body I buried there too.
We had one duck living with our chickens for a while and it drove us nuts. It was so noisy quacking all the time and would not stop at night until all the chickens were in bed….nightmare when one decided to get broody away from the coop!! Hope yours are a lot quieter :) Ours is now living happily (well that’s what we’ve been told) up the coast a long way from any neighbouring houses.
I’m hoping our ducks are going to be relatively quiet. If they aren’t they might have to “go and live on another farm” too.
You’ll need to get yourself one of those natty bits of string to tie your glasses on. Then you can go around with them hanging around your neck. Much less irritating than losing them.
Soon you will be growing them, then you can begin your harvest.
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Love the coop colours!!
I dread to think just what those chickens are building with your lost items … perhaps it would be best if you stopped making eye contact with them … those wee beady eyes can pierce right through to the soul! ;)
I just love the cunning move to paint the kids Wendy house the same colour as the hen house, little by little the junk will be removed until one day your kids will go out there to play and will find nothing but duck doo doo. They are a lovely colour though.
Also, do you actually ‘need’, your glasses to see what you are doing? I feel a sense of mr Magoo humour going on.
Granny-style spec holders (or lanyards). If you know what I mean. THey kept me attached to my sunglasses right the way through Hadrian’s. Essential. And no need to worry about looking silly in your back-garden.