I did a night shift on the ward where I used to work on Sunday night. Partly to help them out because they are short of staff at the moment and partly because I wanted to use the money I’ll get so I can buy a load of superfluous DVDs from Amazon (I have the Bond bug at the moment. Victim of clever marketing? Me?).
Before I left I put Amy to bed. We’re having a few problems at night time at the moment. Amy has developed a fear of the dark and so needs the lights on all the time, she also frequently doesn’t want to be left alone, saying she’ll be “lost†if we leave her. Usually she accepts the fact that we’ll just be downstairs or in our room if she needs us, but I didn’t feel comfortable telling her this that night as I wouldn’t like her to come down (as she sometimes does) to find me not there.
Due to paternity leave and various bits of annual leave I haven’t been at work for around a month, and so me going came as a bit of a shock to her.
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“Don’t go Daddy, stay here with meâ€
“I can’t sweetheart; I have to go to workâ€
“No!†she whimpered starting to cry “Stay at home with me, you work at home with me now. Home is your workâ€
How I wish it were true.
Reminds me of when I was little, my Mum used to work as a cleaner in offices and I used to stand on the doorstep saying ‘be early, don’t be late’ because I preferred her to put me to bed and I always felt happier knowing she was downstairs…this behaviour increased after the birth of my brother….