It’s a well known scientific fact (made up by me, just now) that at some point in their childhood every human being on this earth has tried mixing orange juice with milk.
As a result of this experiment in rudimentary cocktail making most people have subsequently developed a stomach flipping aversion to the idea of mixing milk and citrus fruit ever again.
So when I saw this bottle of lime flavoured milk-shake on the shelves of our local supermarket I couldn’t quite reconcile it in my brain.
But if they make it then surely they must have at least some hope that someone is going to buy it? I mean yes, it sounds revolting, but maybe it’s one of those hidden gems – like pork scratchings, bananna sandwiches, or that stuff you pick out from between your toes.
So with a bit of encouragement from Evan I bought a bottle.
When I pored it out it’s colour did little to ease my qualms. Greeny white is not a good look for any beverage, especially not one containing milk. In fact it looked so much like something that had been left on top of the radiator for a week that I hatched a delightfully devilish wheeze.
When Kerry came home from work I would be waiting with a glass full of the stuff. I’d wave it in her general direction. Say something like “This milk smells a little funny, do you think it’s ok?”. Then swig the whole thing down, no doubt to the accompaniment of her horrified screams.
Bwa-ha-ha-ha!
In oder to celebrate my evil genius I took a congratulatory swig. And then promptly spat it out in an explosive spray into the sink.
Ladies and Gentleman, don’t believe the hype. This stuff is the foulest concoction known to man.
Should you too wish to revolt and disgust your wife/husband/loved ones for your own amusement then trust me, you’d be better off using real fetid milk rather than this stuff. I’m pretty sure the aftertaste would be shorter and less acrid.
Amazingly a quick google search shows that there is actually a very vocal bunch of advocates for this flavour on the internet. Some entrepreneurial/delusional soul is even listing it for twice the market value over on ebay.
So if anyone fancies buying a bottle of nearly full Lime Crusha Milkshake Sryup then I’m starting the bidding off at £3.50.
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Ewwww, nope doesn’t appeal to me either. Maybe if you’d waited until Kerry was home to try it and had actually spat the milkshake out then it would have enhanced the joke you were going to play on her!
.-= Chic Mama´s last blog ..Oh Boy!! =-.
@Chic MamaGood point. In fact thinking about it perhaps i should have even spat it in her face!
or maybe not.
True, true, true. I remember that very experiment. I quite liked it at the time. I also tried milk with lime juice, Ribena and the Lucozade we weren’t supposed to touch unless we were ill. Oh, and milk and dandelion and burdock pop.
I’d probably give it a miss nowadays. I miss the man who’d come round with a lorryload of crates of two pint bottles of fizzy chemicals, though, in erzatz imitation of every major brand you could imagine.
.-= dadwhowrites´s last blog ..On reportage of the earthquake in Haiti =-.
@dadwhowrites, I don’t know if it was the same in your neck of the woods – but our pop man peddled Ben shaws pop – which was made just a couple of miles from my house. Now everything is coke pretty much.
Sounds terrible. You’re on your own there.
@Oli, says the man who prides himself in his homosexual sausages.
As a kid I think I mixed almost all liquids found in a kitchen. I dread to think what cocktails of Satan I created.
.-= Kevin Spencer´s last blog ..Who You Gonna Call? =-.
@Kevin Spencer, as long as you didn’t try drinking bleach, that’s the main thing.
Is this a sponsored post?
.-= SingleParentDad´s last blog ..No doubt about it =-.
@SingleParentDad, do you think I should approach them and ask for money.
Banana and peanut butter sandwiches. Now there’s a hidden gem.
.-= Steve´s last blog ..Things to do with the kids: Museum of Science and Industry =-.
@Steve, i haven’t tried that. I shall experiment tonight.
@Dan, So whaddya think? Delicious huh?!
haven’t drunk any plain milk since I was very very young..but I haven’t mixed it with orange juice..it’s repulsive enough on its own :P
.-= Arjan´s last blog ..Micmacs à tire la larigot =-.
@Arjan, Milk is lovely! you hollandish people are weird.
I *love* lime flavoured things with a passion. Lime is infinitely superior to lemon in G&T and on pancakes.
At the Gourmet Burger Kitchen they do a lime milkshake.
I tried it, it tasted like Jif (or Cif or whatever they’re calling it these days). Ugh.
.-= Kirsty´s last blog ..desktop =-.
@Kirsty, i have no issue with lime. But as you say, mixed with milk it is to be avoided.
got a good laugh out of this one Dan.
Your fame factor alone should raise the eventual bids by a few cents (American).
.-= Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father)´s last blog ..LIAYF Turns 2, Refuses to Nap =-.
@Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father), cents? CENTS? Hundreds of dollars man, hundreds of dollars!
A bottle of this stuff should be awaiting the last walker on each leg of Hadrian’s Walk. That’ll hurry us up.
@Idaho Dad, if it is then I’m not going. In fact it should be at the start of each leg in order to make us flee the stuff.
Oh dear god they haven’t resurrected this idea have they – it must be 20 years ago that I bought eight boxes of “fresh” orange juice from Asda at an amazing bargain price, an “opening offer” the blurb said, “amazing new product” it said, 5p a box, I bought eight.
Yes, it was orangey-milk, orange, but milkier, and quite dreadful, I never saw it on the shelves again and with therapy have managed to suppress those memories – until now.
.-= Gary´s last blog ..Fanny Hilton or “Why the nervous should not teach” =-.
@Gary, I remember your very amusing post on the topic. Orange milk is even worse than lime milk.
Please tell me you don’t eat the fluff you find between your toes… Please?
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Because you can, can, can! =-.
@Heather, I wouldn’t describe it as fluff exactly. It’s more greasy than that.
@Dan, oh, well that makes me feel much better.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Because you can, can, can! =-.
That sounds horrid – hope you manage to shift it on ebay !
.-= Muddling Along Mummy´s last blog ..Bloggers for Haiti =-.
@Muddling Along Mummy, alternatively I might just pore it down the sink. Although I wonder if the environment agency will classify it as toxic waste
Having spent around 20 (probably 30) years in a wilderness lacking in lime crusha I was over the moon to finally see it back on the supermarket shelves. When I was young it could only be purchsed all frothy and whipped in the 2 Italian cafes in town. About 8 years ago friends of mine were able to start buying it for me at the cash & carry and I finally introduced my sprogs to it. Try sticking a dollop if vanilla ice cream in – truly tis manna from heaven ;)
.-= MrsW´s last blog ..I AM in charge, I am too…. =-.
@MrsW, you, madam, are a freak.
What strikes me is how on earth this product made it onto the supermarket shelves in the first place. Usually product development is a long complex process that includes at least an element of market research and taste-testing. So what has gone wrong here? I feel in sudden need of answers.
.-= Rosie Scribble´s last blog ..Instructions on how to enjoy a Fortnum and Mason’s hamper, by a six-year-old =-.
@Rosie Scribble, probably becasue freaks like MrsW drink it (see above)
So funny that you KNEW it would be horrible yet had it anyway.
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..Three degrees of shitty =-.
@Mwa, it’s the Hughes way.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Lime Crusha anyone? =-.
Yuck, yuckity yuck yuck yuck. Sorry, nothing more intelligent to say I’m afraid.
.-= Barbara´s last blog ..All Dressed Up =-.
@Barbara, that’s more eloquent than I was at the time
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Lime Crusha anyone? =-.
I used to work in a cafe many years ago that sold Lime Crusha. *Surprisingly* we never had to re-order it from the wholesalers.
Eeeeoooooooow!
:D
.-= Insomniac Mummy´s last blog ..Bloggers for Haiti =-.
@Insomniac Mummy, it’s just foul. i simply can’t understand how anyome could actually like it.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Lime Crusha anyone? =-.
I wonder if this tastes worse than that Clamato “clam/tomato juice they sell in stores. I’ve always been afraid to try it.
@DadLogic, I think any seafood that comes in juice form is probably best avoided
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Lime Crusha anyone? =-.
Considering that a way to make sour milk for recipes is adding lemon juice to milk, I wonder how they stop that lovely concoction from curdling.
.-= MC´s last blog ..If I Won a Razzie… =-.
@MC, I’m gessing with a healthy dose of carcinogenic chemicals
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Lime Crusha anyone? =-.
Hmmm, I remember a certain father/daughter team having a remarkably similar reaction to the first time they tasted Marmite. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlRCbjMYSu8
I also remember a very vocal bunch of advocates for this flavour on the internet.
@Jeff, that is completley different jeff. completely different.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Lime Crusha anyone? =-.
When I was little I used to have brown sauce sandwiches. Don’t know why I’m telling you this, I just thought it was relevant somehow. Or maybe not.
.-= Tara´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: My daughter’s new best friend =-.
@Tara, to be honest that explains a lot about you.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Lime Crusha anyone? =-.
Hello, I am new here, found you via Jo Beaufoix’s comments.
This reminds me of my doomed job trying to ‘relaunch’ Sunny Delight. Remember that shit? Would never have done it if I’d had the kids then. It’s just so wrong! This sounds just as gross.
@Its a mummys life, I certainly do. wasn’t that the stuff that turned people orange?
You were responsible for trying to get them out of that hole Must have been a hard job.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Lime Crusha anyone? =-.
Well, it is a limited edition, so maybe it was a mistake someone made in the lab and the, er, Crusha Crew is just trying to recoup their losses.
.-= A Free Man´s last blog ..Oh, Your daddy’s rich and your mamma’s good lookin’ =-.