Hughes vs. Tolkien
on Nov 28 in General by DanAmy and I are currently making our way through J.R.R. Tolkien’s wonderful book Letters From Father Christmas. It’s an anthology of letters and drawings Tolkien wrote to his own children (in the guise of Santa), and it’s beautiful, heartwarming, and I can’t recommend it enough. And I’m not even getting any inducements for that endorsement this time. Blimey, it must be good.
In fact this, alongside Wind in the Willows and The Magic Pudding, was one of the the first books I ever bought Amy. I wanted to pass on a sort of literary legacy of treasured books from my own childhood (I actually never owned a copy of Letters from Father Christmas, but I had it on almost permanent perpetual loan from the library).
But reading it with Amy has made me feel a little guilty. If I was a proper Dad shouldn’t I be lovingly crafting elaborate letters from Santa and weaving intricate fantasy worlds for my kids to explore?
Ok, perhaps I’m being a little hard on myself. In a battle of creativity between myself and J.R.R. Tolkien I’m pretty much always going to come in last (however he does lose a great many points for inventing Tom bloody Bombadil). The fact remains, however, that I’m not particularly good at using my creative urges for the benefit of my children.
Take art for example. We’ve been doing the majority of our Christmas shopping online this year, and consequently have been getting a fair few boxes through the post. Most have been those boring flat Amazon cardboard cartridge things, but on Monday one arrived that was almost the size of our kitchen.
Wrestling it from the postman my heart began to sink. This box was just too good to pass up. I was going to have to do something arty with the kids.
I know that will deeply shock all those creative wonder-parents out there who make twelve mobiles and fourteen pebble monsters with their kids before breakfast, but I really dislike doing messy craft stuff with my children and tend to avoid it as much as possible.
No one could accuse me of being house proud. In fact we generally ask visitors to keep on their shoes just in case our carpet gets their socks dirty. However there is something about Evan and Amy brandishing heavily laden paint brushes that brings out my inner Hyacinth Bucket.
I’m the same with other craft materials. I blame Steve Jobs. I once got told off by the man at the Apple shop for the amount of glitter secreted in the crevices of my Macbook and I’ve been traumatised about it ever since. Perhaps I should sue.
But as I say, this box was just too good to pass up. And so after school on Wednesday night out came the poster paints and the brushes and on went my calm parent poker face. After a number of heavy handed instructions about the necessity of not painting on the carpet, sofa, themselves, or each other we set to it.
And so now we have a huge multicolored box taking up about 45% of our living room’s floorspace. What’s more, because it’s the kids pride and joy we face an outright mutiny every time we suggest throwing it away.
(There is no slider you can slide in photoshop that would stop Amy and Evan looking like brain dead zombies in this picture, but it’s the best one I have)
But I have a cunning plan. I’m going to persuade Amy that if she writes her Christmas list on it and posts it off to Santa then its size and bright colors will ensure it stands out vividly against all the other children’s letters. Thus ensuring her the much coveted Puppy in my pocket pet paradise on Christmas day.
Kapow! Take that Tolkien! You might have the edge on creativity and quality, but my efforts far outstrip yours on the evil genius front.
Although there is still that Tom Bombadil thing. Curse your eyes Tolkien, you may have won again this time. But I’ll be back damn you, I’ll be back.
Related posts:
- Just like the ones we used to know
- What goes “Ha, Ha, Bonk”?
- A Christmas Conundrum
- Christmas cracker
- The Great Hughes Household Hunt
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Poor you, but I also hated having to do art and craft with my own children (never mind the ones at school!) but you should not be getting involved with designing The Boxes!! You, my friend, should just be cutting the lid/side off so the children can sit inside it, handing over the paints/pens/etc and stepping sharply away while said children design away to their little hearts’ content. You have no business trying to sway their design, or helping them in any way: that is their job! Getting rid of the box however, IS your job, and I salute your efforts thus far.
Btw, we also loved the Tolkien letters in our house. I say ‘loved’ not because I sold the children on eBay, but because they are now officially Too Old For That Sort of Thing Mum. Sad, very sad.
.-= notSupermum´s last blog ..A Letter To My Sixteen-Year-Old Self =-.
@notSupermum, I’m sure they will come back to it. I did.
You’re right about letting them do the box on their own of course, although it would soon degenerate into shouting as one didn’t do it like the other wanted them to.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
My mum used to write letters to me from a fairy called ‘ping pong’. She’d write them on a tiny piece of card and leave it by the well in the bottom field. For ages I kept this communication secret. I’d leave ‘ping pong’ cornflakes and other tasty treats to eat. Then one day i found a piece of card in my mums drawer with a tiny piece cut out…..(are you gripped at this point?)….my little heart sank. I realised that she had been the fairy all along!!! My communication with ping pong ended that day….and thats when I realised I should probably get a job and stop wasting my life. No, No, No! honestly I was only about 8 years old. Some would say children these days wouldn’t fall for that scam but in our day things were much more simple and innocent. I didn’t have pierced ears, hair staightners and mobile phones…I had ping pong……
@Rachel Sykes, I once knew a woman who bought this “iPod’ from ebay. She showed the same dimwitted innocence as you describe in your ping pong story.
Actually I think I’ve mentioned to you before that I always planned to creat some sort of fairy door in our garden and tell Amy there were pixies hiding in it. Need to get on with that really.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
Craft with children is over-rated; it is not the same as art and in most cases it is done to please the parents – so don’t feel guilty.
That said, we have a love of cardboard boxes in our house and have some that are now going round a second time. The robot I made for Dan and Mike is still in our conservatory after 10 years. Take a look at my other blog (link on main blog) for a selection of photos.
It all comes from having a mum who wrote a craft book and insisted that we test out her ides!
.-= Mark´s last blog ..A true likeness? =-.
@Mark, “Craft with children is over-rated; it is not the same as art and in most cases it is done to please the parents – so don’t feel guilty.”
That’s quite interesting, and on reflection probably true.
Our house doesn’t have enough room for furniture though,never mind about 10 year old boxes. I’ll go and take a look at yur other blog shortly.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
You do realise of course that Tolkien lived in West Park, Leeds for several years while he was a professor of English , in fact his house was right opposite the school that I attended, not that I was there at the same time of course, or that any of his learned creative ways would have been left behind when he moved on .
John Craven also went to the same school and I don’t think Tolkien ever influenced Newsround either.
.-= Gary´s last blog ..Video Sunday – Jimi Hendrix =-.
@Gary, I didn’t realize. I’d always associated him with Cambridge(or Oxford, I get confused).
Didn’t Patrick Stewart go to your school too?
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
@Dan,
Yes and no, Patrick Stewart was one of my close friends at school, but it wasn’t THE Patrick Stewart – the Patrick Stewart I knew was last heard of farming in North Teesdale.
Alan Bennett went to my school though !
.-= Gary´s last blog ..I’m a Celebrity, Get Me In There… =-.
@Gary, I’m afraid that to a geek like me Alan Bennett is not as cool as Patrick Stewart.
You have failed me Gary.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
I don’t think you have to compete with Tolkien. I’m sure you add to your kids’ lives in many ways, and it’s okay to borrow his genius AS WELL. As for the paint, my Hyacinth only allows it about once a year as well. We have school and creche to get messy in.
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..Everything looks prettier without cynicism =-.
@Mwa, it’s true. My farting contests and competitions to see who can do the loudest belch really enrich them in so many ways.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
So..if I understand this right..you first give your kids a box..and let them cool-it-up and afterwards try to get rid of it? That’s evil man..and not that genious. The solution you thought of is though..
I had the 4 month old daughter of my niece on my lap today and that one was entertained far easier..just hand her one of your fingers and she puts it in her mouth…because she can.
@Arjan, you obviously have tasty fingers.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
The box is fantastic! Great move. Dudelet and little elf also love to get paint out. The rule is that it’s confined to the kitchen table where we can at least clean up more or less. Little elf tends to paint herself (literally – she rolls up her sleeves and paints hands and arms up to her elbows) more than the paper but that’s her prerogative.
.-= dadwhowrites´s last blog ..Visit from younger self =-.
@dadwhowrites, our kitchen table is the home of our computer, and so painting their is even more stressful than in the lounge.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
If I got a box like that I would definitely keep it. Because at the rate we are going we may have to move into it one day.
.-= Seattledad´s last blog ..The Most Memorable Thanksgiving…Almost. =-.
@Seattledad, I thought you were building a fall out shelter in your basement to hole up in?
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
Noah is reading a page per evening of A Christmas Carol to Ethan, but if he realized this book existed, I think he’d throw Dickens on the ash heap forthwith.
And thank you for agreeing about Tom Bombadil. He’s the reason I haven’t been able to press through the trilogy, and yet Noah refuses to acknowledge that Tom is ridiculous.
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Gadzooks! =-.
@Erin, Gwt it for him next year. some of the language is a little clumsy surprisingly, but the fact that he spent so much time illustrating and writing them for his kids rather for any future publication is really heartwarming
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
Thanks for the Tom bloody Bombadil comment, absolute worst charactor ever.
@Sarah, he wrecks the first Lord of the Rings book. He’s the reason I didn’t manage to read the trilogy all the way through until my late 20′s
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
I’ve tried to read Tolkien many times over the years and have come to one conclusion. He’s not a very good writer. His books are so hard work. I gave up trying to read LOTR on my 7th attempt.
.-= Kevin Spencer´s last blog ..The Time, It Flies Mate =-.
@Kevin Spencer, his writing certainly can be difficult to wade through. The hobbit is an easier read.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
You’ve triggered something there, I find it torturous to throw away boxes.
The more unusual they are the worse it is.
I’m crap at arts & crafts, I can’t do funny voices, and I think children generally don’t like me.
You’re streets ahead.
.-= Martin´s last blog ..Back to school =-.
@Martin, are you accusing me of having a funny voice?
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
We go through this too, fortunately my boys are prone to destruction so the boxes don’t last long. Is Santa a Grey or a White?
.-= Whit´s last blog ..Raccoons at the Door =-.
@Whit, it took me a while to get the grey and white reference, but now I do I feel rather smug about it. In a very geeky way of course.
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Uketube =-.
meh I liked the hobbit, the 3 lotr books and the silmarillion…bite me :)