Now hands that do dishes are as soft as your face

There is a sliding scale of domestic catastrophes. It runs from dropping dried pasta on the kitchen floor all the way through to your dog urinating on your bed at 3am New Years Day (not a good start to 2003 let me assure you). Kerry and I have seen it all. But recently the Hughes household has experienced an earth shattering calamity to end all calamities.

Our dishwasher is broken.

You may be one of those people that smugly quip “oh we have a dishwasher in our house, it’s called me/the kids/my husband/my wife” If so then consider yourself banished from this blog forthwith for the heinous crimes of cliché and insensitivity. We need a dishwasher in our house damnit. The towering pile of festering crockery gets high enough as it is without factoring in the time, energy, and motivation needed to actually wash it manually.

I don’t know what’s wrong with it, other than it doesn’t work. I did pull it out the other day and had a poke around the back with a wooden spoon, and for one glorious moment it looked like it had miraculously started working again. I did the obligatory masculine strut around the kitchen proclaiming that I was king of all household maintenance; but then the bloody thing stopped working again just as I was starting to get stuck into the second verse of “Oh Dan You Art So Wondrous”.

So now we are stuck with a broken dishwasher. I have washed up three times today. Three times. And yet as I type I still can’t actually see our kitchen work surfaces due to all the dirty pots and pans. There should be a law against it or something. It’s inhumane I tell you! How can we be expected to live like this!? Surely we’re eligible for some sort of emergency rescue package from the government? We are people danmit, not animals!!

Oh fate, why must you torment us so.

Still, never mind. It’s all part of life’s rich pageant I suppose. And anyway, it’s Evan’s third birthday tomorrow. Something tells me he might be getting that new transformer that’s all the rage. You know, that one that transforms from a dishwasher to a cupboard to keep your dirty plates in. It’s called “Hotpoint” apparently. It’s a bit pricey, but nothing is too good for my little boy.

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33 Responses to Now hands that do dishes are as soft as your face

  1. I agree, dishwasher failure is top of the disaster list.

    I love mine, I always have.
    SingleParentDad´s last blog ..Formal lessons should be introduced later My ComLuv Profile

  2. JJ Daddy-O says:

    Ha! Plate o’ shrimp. Our dishwasher bit the dust on Thursday, and just got fixed today. (first load is washing now) Of course we have had my parents staying over, so the amount of dishes has been huge.
    JJ Daddy-O´s last blog ..The Internet Is…. My ComLuv Profile

  3. Steve says:

    Before I suffer my banishment for crimes against baby-soft hands, I will tell you that having only had a dishwasher for the last couple of years, I still find myself washing up by hand… daily. I just can’t help myself!

    Or maybe I just need to buy more cutlery.
    Steve´s last blog ..The S word My ComLuv Profile

  4. Seattledad says:

    I fill my dishwasher daily and still spend an hellish amount of time washing pots and things that don’t go into it.

    I feel for you man!
    Seattledad´s last blog ..It’s Getting Warm Around Here My ComLuv Profile

  5. Farouq Taj says:

    I feel your pain as our dishwasher has broken down too. Thankfully its still under extended guarantee so the engineer took a look at it today.
    He’ll be back with some spare parts and in the meantime we continue to wash plate by plate.
    Farouq Taj´s last blog ..Boveney Tree Leaves_0026 My ComLuv Profile

  6. Catherine says:

    Eeek! They can BREAK?!

    Personally I’m impressed you’ve been cooking at all, I’d be tempted to avoid it by eating salad and bread out of a bag or something…
    Catherine´s last blog ..Today at the Mill Pond My ComLuv Profile

  7. Andrew says:

    I had a diswasher once, it is very useful for keeping the dirty dishes out of the way until they are next needed. At this point they are removed from the dishwasher, washed, dried, used, and placed back in the dishwasher again.
    Andrew´s last blog ..The first of many? My ComLuv Profile

  8. Barbara says:

    Oh my god, I thought the boiler dying was bad. It didn’t even occur to me that the dishwasher might go as well – I hope you get it fixed pronto. Remember, it’s manly to let someone else help if it means your wife can’t beat you over the head with a grubby saucepan.
    Barbara´s last blog ..Old Boiler My ComLuv Profile

  9. Gary says:

    You spoil that boy of yours, you really do
    Gary´s last blog ..X Factor and the dry cleaners next door My ComLuv Profile

  10. Arjan says:

    “We are people danmit, not animals!!” I see what you did there ‘Dan-mit’

    As someone who washes everything by hand (..not having a dishwasher regretably) I have one tip for you: just stack everything up and do it at the end of the week. Sure, it takes you about 2 hours to finish the MONSTER dishes, but it gets you off the hook for the rest of the week and you’ll be able to find new mugs and glasses in places of your house you haven’t looked for ages. Believe me, I know.

    Oh and it’s not that bad to use the same glass twice on the same day..
    Arjan´s last blog ..DSB Bank tumbling or not? My ComLuv Profile

  11. Laura says:

    We had no dishwasher for three years … THREE YEARS in our last house. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I actually didn’t mind washing up*. Sometimes 4 times a day I would wash up whilst gazing out of the window. It was therapeutic. I was very excited when we moved and had a dishwasher, but like everything, that excitement has been replaced by a loathing of loading the bloody thing.

    * apart from when the husband cooked tapas for 12** and used every possible item in the kitchen.

    ** Which he did four times in three years.
    Laura ´s last blog ..Picture Perfect Meme My ComLuv Profile

  12. Nota Bene says:

    Oh I think we shouldn’t have just had one installed…I was quite happy before, now I’m going to have sleepless nights in anticipation, and abject misery when it goes wrog, as I am sure it will now
    Nota Bene´s last blog ..His Royal Highness My ComLuv Profile

  13. Deb says:

    Ah, been there, done that–as you know, Dan. Our dishwasher started leaking earlier this year and we just went out and bought another one (cause we’re rich that way). Only $350, plus the delivery charge and installation.

    I did actually earn $20 of the purchase price back, however. After about 4 months a research company called to ask how we felt about our new dishwasher and they paid me $20 to answer 30 minutes worth of questions. How, you may ask, can you talk about your dishwasher for 30 minutes? It really wasn’t that hard. Goes to show that I need to get out more.

  14. Erin says:

    That sounds like a total travesty. I hate dishes, even just putting them in the dishwasher.
    Erin´s last blog ..The sad part is, it’s only a fraction of what we paid for all that crap My ComLuv Profile

  15. Nat says:

    I’d be tempted to hold a wake for the appliance… we adore the dishwasher.
    Nat´s last blog ..Smile… My ComLuv Profile

  16. Whit says:

    This past June we became dishwasher people. We hadn’t had one in nearly 10 years. Not sure what we were thinking.

    Happy Birthday to you little man!