Fat Club, Week One

on Oct 08 in General by

Does anyone know if methane is heavier than air or not? The reason I ask is that on Wednesday morning as I was just about to perform my customary trumpeting of the dawn when it suddenly occurred to me – if I hold off on farting until I weigh myself would it make me lighter?

It’s an interesting question, and one that was strangely neglected by my A level biology syllabus.

You see I need all the help I can get, because it looks like Ian from Single Parent Dad is going absolutely trounce me and the rest of the league in our weight loss contest.

Just look at this week’s results:

Name Weekly lb loss Total lb loss Position
Ian (Single Parent Dad) 7lb 7lb 1st
Dan (All That Comes With It) 4lb 4lb 2nd
Catherine (Some Vague Utopia) 2lb 2lb 3rd
Erin (The Fierce Beagle) 2lb 2lb 3rd
Kerry 1lb 1lb 4th
Barbara (JoBart) 0lb 0lb 5th

Seven pounds? In one week?! That’s bloody ridiculous. I bet he’s chopped off that tangled and unwashed mass on top of his head that he laughingly calls his “hair”. There’s a good four or five pounds worth of dead skin and lice in that i should imagine.

Seven pounds. I can’t believe it.

Still, a 4lb loss from me is pretty damn good, and congratulations to everyone else as well. It’s actually a fact that men loose weight a lot more easily than women (something to do with metabolism) so Ian and I have a bit of a head start.

Seven bloody pounds!

Anyhow, keep on at it. It’s going to be a funny week for me – I’ve got my sister’s wedding tomorrow where I’m probably going to stuff my face; but I’ve also got my 25 mile death walk on Sunday, so hopefully will lose a bit then too. We’ll see what happens. I bet I don’t lose seven pounds though.

The bastard.

Related posts:

  1. Fat Club: Week Two
  2. The end of Fat Club and a few pumpkins
  3. Hey ho, lets go! Lee and Dan’s Midnight Movie Club
  4. The Midnight Movie Club
  5. Superhero Week Day Two: Keys to the Fortress of Solitude

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