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Fat Club, Week One

Does anyone know if methane is heavier than air or not? The reason I ask is that on Wednesday morning as I was just about to perform my customary trumpeting of the dawn when it suddenly occurred to me – if I hold off on farting until I weigh myself would it make me lighter?

It’s an interesting question, and one that was strangely neglected by my A level biology syllabus.

You see I need all the help I can get, because it looks like Ian from Single Parent Dad is going absolutely trounce me and the rest of the league in our weight loss contest.

Just look at this week’s results:

Name Weekly lb loss Total lb loss Position
Ian (Single Parent Dad) 7lb 7lb 1st
Dan (All That Comes With It) 4lb 4lb 2nd
Catherine (Some Vague Utopia) 2lb 2lb 3rd
Erin (The Fierce Beagle) 2lb 2lb 3rd
Kerry 1lb 1lb 4th
Barbara (JoBart) 0lb 0lb 5th

Seven pounds? In one week?! That’s bloody ridiculous. I bet he’s chopped off that tangled and unwashed mass on top of his head that he laughingly calls his “hair”. There’s a good four or five pounds worth of dead skin and lice in that i should imagine.

Seven pounds. I can’t believe it.

Still, a 4lb loss from me is pretty damn good, and congratulations to everyone else as well. It’s actually a fact that men loose weight a lot more easily than women (something to do with metabolism) so Ian and I have a bit of a head start.

Seven bloody pounds!

Anyhow, keep on at it. It’s going to be a funny week for me – I’ve got my sister’s wedding tomorrow where I’m probably going to stuff my face; but I’ve also got my 25 mile death walk on Sunday, so hopefully will lose a bit then too. We’ll see what happens. I bet I don’t lose seven pounds though.

The bastard.

Related posts:

  1. Fat Club: Week Two
  2. The end of Fat Club and a few pumpkins
  3. A short sharp pain in the wallet
  4. One week
  5. Superhero Week Day Two: Keys to the Fortress of Solitude

34 Comments

  1. Maybe SPD ingested helium before the weigh in. Or, it could be that your scales have an extra strong gravitational pull around them like mine.

    4lbs is pretty good going!

    :)
    .-= Insomniac Mummy´s last blog ..Today’s the day =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Insomniac Mummy, I’m afraid that i’m so big I exert my own gravitational pull, which ironically makes me lighter.

  2. Lindy says:

    congrats to everyone!
    .-= Lindy´s last blog ..love love love =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Lindy, why thank you.

  3. Catherine says:

    WHAT?! He actually *did* lose 7lb?! I thought you were just winding me up when you emailed with that one…. (and breathe). Ah well, for sustainable weight loss 2lb is exactly right. We’ll trouce you in the long term :D Congrats on your 4! And to Ian. I suppose.
    .-= Catherine´s last blog .. =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Catherine, At this rate Ian will be dead in a couple of months time. so we have that to look forward to at any rate.

  4. Maggie says:

    Congratulations all round. As for the methane – stay well away from naked flames… but it might be worth a try!
    .-= Maggie´s last blog ..Glutton for punishment =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Maggie, right, naked flames. Got it.

  5. Laura says:

    Well done to you all.

    As far as SPD is concerned, I think he’s had a trim.
    .-= Laura ´s last blog ..I may live to regret this … =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Laura, I’ll teach him. I bet I could shed a couple of pounds if i shaved off my back hair.

  6. Steve says:

    You know, to be fair you really should measure the percentage body weight loss. For the average person, if you weigh 300lbs it’s gonna be easier to lose 7lbs than if you weigh 200.

    Or does the fact you haven’t brought this up indicate that such a measure would only further jeapordise your league position?
    .-= Steve´s last blog ..Re-united =-.

  7. 7 lbs is a ridiculous amount, and most likely a very unhealthy amount to lose in a seven day period. But I’d obviously got it to lose. Plus I think that number may be that high, as my son was poorly, and I didn’t really eat a lot at all on those days.

    This week I would delighted to lose 2lbs. Got friends here over the weekend, and a birthday party, so I can see the diet being blown. But I’ve swam today, due to cycle tomorrow, then a similar pattern Mon/Tues next week.

    Enjoy the walk/death.
    .-= SingleParentDad´s last blog ..Family portraits and an image update =-.

    1. Catherine says:

      @SingleParentDad, I’ve just reread my comment and realised that my tongue-in-cheek reply sounded more like sour grapes! :D Sorry to hear Max was ill, and good for you on the excercise front, best of luck this week
      .-= Catherine´s last blog .. =-.

    2. Dan says:

      @SingleParentDad, As the walk/death looms nearer I’m starting to think I should be swimming and cycling instead as well.

  8. Erin says:

    My plan for this week is the “Devil Wears Prada Plan.” I’m not going to eat anything, and then when I feel like I’m going to faint, I’ll eat a cube of cheese.

    Actually that’s not the plan at all, considering I’m going to a wedding this weekend.
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..An update =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Erin, Really? Not my sisters wedding is it? Because that would be freaky if it was.

  9. Oli says:

    Methane is heavier than air, so you should fart as much as you can before you get out of bed.

    1. Dan says:

      @Oli, Could you put that in the form of a formal letter so I can show it Kerry?

      1. Oli says:

        @Dan, Not sure I dare!

  10. Mark says:

    It’s a marathon not a sprint. Or should that be a Snickers.. no, you aren’t allowed those.
    .-= Mark´s last blog ..Collections 7 – Paintings by John Knapp-Fisher =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Mark, but peanuts are a vegetable right? and chocolate is made of beans.

  11. Jeff says:

    Ian’s loss was probably due to water weight. I bet he hadn’t taken a good leak 3 days prior to starting the contest. The oldest trick in the book.
    .-= Jeff´s last blog ..The only things I watch on my 9 1/2" TV =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Jeff, I et you’re right. I bet he’d corked up his arse too. The cheating git.

  12. Jo Beaufoix says:

    Blimey well done you lot. That’s a fantastic start. I’m doing ok on mine in that I swam 100 lengths of the pool this morning. I am so proud of myself. And Dan, maybe if you’d had that enormous trumpet you’d have lost more, if what Oli says is true which I suspect it is.
    I wouldn’t wish that on Kerry though.
    .-= Jo Beaufoix´s last blog ..Making Mummy Feel Special… =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Jo Beaufoix, not convinced I could do 100 lengths. And I know Ian couldn’t 9he can’t count that high)

  13. Blimey, congratulations all round.

    Methane vs air? Mate, you’re always asking the important questions. That’s why I like you. Not that spd fella though, I wouldn’t trust those 7 pounds either. Sounds a bit sneaky to me ;-)
    .-= Kevin Spencer´s last blog ..Quiktrip =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Kevin Spencer, that’s why blogging is more powerful than print media. we ask the hard hitting questions that need to be asked.

  14. Arjan says:

    a finally a weight measurement which I can easily translate to kilo’s.

    You should make a table with the weight loss in stones and lbs too.
    .-= Arjan´s last blog ..I’m sooooo retro =-.

    1. Dan says:

      @Arjan, it’s a race to 1 stone, so if we get to start counting it in that then someone has won.

      I don’t understand kilos.

  15. Seattledad says:

    Found it!
    .-= Seattledad´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Late Edition =-.

  16. I thought the first rule of Fat Club was, you don’t talk about Fat Club?

  17. Barbara says:

    Oh bugger. I wish I hadn’t eaten that chocolate cake yesterday. It was my son’s birthday and it was nut free – I thought it would be ok!

    I think I need motivating. I think being bottom of the league table and the only one that hasn’t lost weight might be just the motivation I need.
    .-= Barbara´s last blog ..Like a Bird on a Wire =-.

  18. Linda says:

    Hi Dan,

    Well done to everyone!

    I lost 4-6lbs last week, I don’t know which but admitting it was the first makes me feel I could have done better and admitting it was the second makes me feel bad for another reason.

    I’m pleased overall though, I will grudgingly admit.

    I’ve just written about dieting etc on my blog and the piece is here, it includes tips from a nutritionist who has been a great help to me, I went and had some sessions with her:

    http://www.gotyourhandsfull.com/2009/10/chaotic.html

    I will lose a stone now altogether as quickly as I can and have been in the gym or a pool, most days this week, and will be every day this week. Last time I was serious about losing weight I lost 8lbs the first week and 6lbs the second and am trying to build on that.

    In the long term, I don’t want to go as fast as I can but I do have a long way to go. It’s about changing habits and frame of mind for me, and every day I don’t eat a pastie is a victory!
    x
    .-= Linda´s last blog ..Why ‘chaotic’ eaters struggle to maintain weight loss -and some top tips from a nutritionist =-.