Caution: reading this blog may waste your time

Many people dismiss the government health warnings on cigarettes as evidence of an over involved nanny state. Equally they scoff at “caution, this coffee may be hot” or “do not place plastic bag over head” signs printed on various consumer goods. But not me. I’m well aware that I’m a bumbling idiot and need all the help I can get to stay on the straight and narrow. I’m the guy who was emptying the mop bucket into the air vents of the cellar thinking they were the drains, then wondered where all the flooding was coming from. I’m also the guy who accidentally changed the language of his mobile phone to German then seriously considered throwing it away as the predictive text messaging was acting all weird.

So I’m in favour of warning labels. In fact I think there should be more of them. In particular I believe all children’s books over a certain length should bear the following advice in large, preferably flashing, letters.

warningWarning! This book is over 1000 words long. Any attempt to read this to your child as a bedtime story will result in you missing the first 15 minutes of that film you were planning on watching. You know, that one with the guy out of Friends in it.

3 Responses to “Caution: reading this blog may waste your time”


  1. 1 Paul

    This isn’t actually related to your post. Sorry.

    Congratulations, you’ve managed to beat Kirklees’ internet blocking service. Well done.

    Kinda…

    Evidently wwww.allthat… doesn’t light up a warning that it’s, Denied: Personals. however flickr still does so all your pictures are individually blocked.

    Still can’t get on to post on mine though.

  2. 2 Dan

    Nor should you be able to blog from work. I hope you realise that it’s my hard earned tax money thats paying your wages. I expect you to be out there teaching, not sat around surfing the web.

    Of course I do realise that it is your hard earned tax money that pays _my_ wages, and I do admit I am at work at the moment. But that is entirely beside the point and quite frankly i think you are a cad and a bounder for even mentioning it.

  1. 1 Well that’s another fine mess… at All that comes with it

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