Losers

Oct 1st, 2009

by Dan.

While the traditional methods of pistols at dawn has fallen out of favour, the gentlemanly pursuit of duelling is still alive and well in modern society. Just take the infamous Atomic Wing Sauce face-off between myself and Greg this April

The rutting stags clash

So given that Ian, from Single Parent Dad, and I are both blogging about our attempts to lose weight at the moment it was pretty inevitable that a gauntlet would be thrown down at some point. And sure enough the challenge has been made.

The contest is now on. The first to lose a stone (14lb) will be declared the champion and all time conqueror of the Universe. Unless it’s him of course, and then I’ll say I wasn’t really trying and it was a stupid contest in the first place.

The contest officially started yesterday, and this morning I’d already lost a pound. Oh yeah, read ‘em and weep porky boy. Of course I’ll probably put two back on tomorrow, but still – it’s looking good so far.

Originally I’d set a prize of the winner being able to take over the loser’s blog for a week. But as Ian pointed out, that sounds more like a penance than a reward. Any suggestions about what the winner should get would be gratefully received. Also if anyone else want’s to join in and make this a sort of league thing then they would be more than welcome

But before you commit, you should know that I have a secret weapon in my arsenal. Because this weekend I had two epiphanies, not one. Not only did I resolve to restart my diet, but I also decided to embark on yet another great adventure.

I have been inspired by the delightful, if not a little unhinged, Erin; who recently kicked off her training for the Hadrian’s Walk by doing something that is twenty times harder than the walk itself. Erin did a triathlon, which as far as I’m aware is actually sufficient grounds for her to be sectioned under the Mental Health act over here. Personally I refuse to do anteing that involves me breaking into anything faster than a moderately paced walk; but never-the-less I’m going to push myself to my physical limits.

I’m going to do the Yorkshire Three Peak Challenge. This is a 25 mile long circular walk that visits the summits of three mountains: Whernside, Ingleborough, and Pen-y-ghent. The total ascent and descent of the walk is 5,249ft.

Obviously I’ll need to get very fit for this one. Walking 25 miles along the flat would be hard enough, never mind sticking three bloody great big hills in the middle. You’d be a fool to do this without months of preparation and training.

I’m doing it next Sunday.

You see the challenge dictates that you need to walk the circuit in under twelve hours and I suspect I’ll. need every second of that time. With winter approaching the days are becoming shorter, and leaving it later than next week would mean there wouldn’t be enough daylight to attempt it. As it is I’ll. be pushing it (with dawn to sunset only being 11 hours, plus and additional half an hour of twilight either side of that).

Of course my brother Sam recently did it in 8.5 hours, but then again he is a stupidly overfit man so it doesn’t count.

I have thrown in a few safety factors however. I’m not going alone for a start, my friend Dave is coming too (everyone should have a sidekick called Dave in my opinion). We’re also going to be a bit realistic about our prospects and if at the top of the second hill it looks like we’ll be struggling to finish before it gets dark then we’ll call it a day. But never the less it’s a pretty risky endeavour for a couple of chubby blokes with only a vague understanding of how to read a map.

So you see Ian, there is no way you are going to win this contest now. Because do you know how quickly a corpse of a lost and exhausted walker decomposes on the bleak moorlands of the Yorkshire Dales? Pretty damn quick, that’s how. Throw in a couple of crows and foxes gnawing at the rotting body and the lbs start flying off. And the rules of this little contest make no stipulation about the contestants being alive do they. Ha! In your face!

Let the contest begin.

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Posted in: General.
Tagged: Diet · Duel · Fat Club · Single Parent Dad · Yorkshire Three Peaks

24 Comments on “Losers”

#1 SingleParentDad
on Oct 1st, 2009 at 2:15 pm

They don’t call me Baldrick, at all, but hopefully you get my point. I also have a cunning plan, and mine doesn’t even include death.

You are so going down (in trouser size) Mr.
SingleParentDad´s last blog ..Fat Club

Reply
Dan Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 6:28 pm
@SingleParentDad, I’ve had a look at your blog, and your cunning plan leaves quite a bit to be desired.

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#2 Erin
on Oct 1st, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Interestingly, I don’t believe I lost any weight even after training for the triathlon. Then again, I was using bacon and cupcakes as my two main sources of fuel.

I’m in for this little contest. I don’t want to interfere with your wager with Ian, but I’d be happy to outshine you both in the weight-loss department.
Erin´s last blog ..Don’t taze me bro

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Dan Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 6:29 pm
@Erin, we now have a league of four. You, Noah, Ian and me. I’m surprised Noah has 14lb to loose to be honest. Must be all the dohnuts

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Erin Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 6:33 pm
@Dan, I don’t think he’d mind me telling you because he doesn’t look it, but he’s actually considered overweight. (Although I think he has heavy bones—the boys in academy teased him about having frists…you know, forearm-sized wrists.) He’d like to be where he was after he finished his physical training in academy, which is right around 14 lbs. lighter than he is now.
Erin´s last blog ..Don’t taze me bro

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#3 Shuttrbug74
on Oct 1st, 2009 at 4:35 pm

I like how Erin thinks. I am adding cupcakes as an energy source to my list!!! And since mine have to be Milk free I can claim them to be lower in fat AND an energy source right??

P.S. Im SO cheering Ian on in this one. “Go Ian Go Ian!!” lol

Reply
Dan Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 6:31 pm
@Shuttrbug74, you can cheer Ian if you like. Although it’s often disappointing to back the loser.

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#4 Seattledad
on Oct 1st, 2009 at 9:20 pm

I’m a loser too. Then again, I haven’t dropped any weight lately so my definition may be a tinsy bit different.

Good luck Dan.
Seattledad´s last blog ..The Sweater

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Dan Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:00 am
@Seattledad, No matter what the definition, you’ll always be a loser in my book James

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#5 Arjan
on Oct 1st, 2009 at 10:45 pm

so if I understand it you might just stay at top #2 and give up..
I won’t accept it..just start tumbling down..you’ve got another walk to organize and that’s final.

You could put a helicopter service on speed dial to pick you up if needs be.
Arjan´s last blog ..Dutch movies (top 10) pt 2: Blackbook

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Dan Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:00 am
@Arjan, err, no. The plan was to walk down two but then not walk up three. Or somethign like that.

did I mention we’re not going at all if it’s raining?

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#6 Catherine
on Oct 2nd, 2009 at 1:01 am

You’re on!

http://somevagueutopia.blogspot.com/2009/10/here-we-are-april-21st-last-year.html
Catherine´s last blog ..Who snores loses

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Dan Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:54 am
@Catherine, Hurrah!

that’s five of us now.

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#7 Deb
on Oct 2nd, 2009 at 1:26 am

Dan, you should just come back to Wisconsin and eat more atomic wings with my husband. You’d lose that 14 lbs. in about an hour, all of it sweat. Of course, then you would die. That would be rather unfortunate.

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Dan Reply:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:55 am
@Deb, the main thing about those atomic wings is that you have to be careful not to touch any “sensitive” parts when you go to the loo afterwards as the chili is still on your hands.

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#8 Barbara
on Oct 2nd, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Hmm, glad to see you’re keeping this in proportion.

But, as long as I don’t have to die to participate, I’m in.
Barbara´s last blog ..Flowers

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Dan Reply:
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:58 pm
@Barbara, Jolly good!

Wednesday is official weigh in day. You don’t have to tell me your actual weight, justhow much you’ve lost that week and how much you’ve lost in total.

I’ll then compile a league table.

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#9 Jo Beaufoix
on Oct 3rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm

I’m really going to enjoy this, heh heh. Good luck lovely. I will not be joining you as I’m doing my own health thing right now and am keeping it pressure free so my brain doesn’t explode. As for the winner/loser prize I have suggested photographs on your blogs of you and Ian having a man hug as I know that would be like torture for you, but now you have a weight loss gang that won’t work. Hmmm, I will ponder this.
Jo Beaufoix´s last blog ..Not Brownies

Reply
Dan Reply:
October 3rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
@Jo Beaufoix, i’d rather be back to 22 stone rather than touch another human being that isn’t related to me.

Reply
#10 kerry
on Oct 3rd, 2009 at 2:02 pm

I am contemplating throwing my hat in the ring but not if I have to disclose my starting weight to the internet. What’s the rules?

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Dan Reply:
October 3rd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
@kerry, rules are:

No starting weight disclosure needed, just what you lost that week anjd what you’ve lost in total. easy peasy lemon squeezy.

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Kerry Reply:
October 3rd, 2009 at 6:25 pm
@Dan add me to the list

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#11 Arjan
on Oct 3rd, 2009 at 8:44 pm

be sure to keep a balance on what you lost because it should be réally lost. With that I mean, if you loose a stone, gain half a stone and than lose half a stone..you should contest-wise still have only lost one stone.

Darn British..can’t you just step up into the 21st century and into Europe with our marvelous metric system and start counting in KILO’S. Calculating back from lbs is hard enough..
A stone is just a stupid weight measure. If you break a stone in two, you’ve got 2 stones but still the same weight ;)
Arjan´s last blog ..Dutch movies (top 10) pt 2: Blackbook

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#12 Arjan
on Oct 3rd, 2009 at 8:45 pm

or mass..whatever..who cares ;)
Arjan´s last blog ..Dutch movies (top 10) pt 2: Blackbook

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Losers

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