As part of our recent trip down to London we went out for lunch with my old friend Rob and his wife and child.
You may remember Rob from such exploits as him ironing his underpants, being a amateur football referee, appearing on TV quiz show Countdown, and having me saving him from killing himself with a toaster. In short, Rob’s a weirdo.
He does have some shreds of common sense though: for example he named his first born son after me. Oh sure, he says he just likes the name Daniel, but we all know the truth. He idolizes me.
That aside though, the man is a freak. He supports Walsall football club for gods sake. Everyone knows that Walsall is just a strange way of pronouncing Birmingham.
His status as an aberration of nature was well and truly confirmed for us in London. It all started when he ordered milkshake. So far, so good. Everyone likes milkshake don’t they, nothing wrong with that.
He did order a lime milkshake, which made my stomach flip a little bit. Something to do with memories of milk curdling when mixed with orange juice I imagine. But I wasn’t judging him. Hey, if a man wants to drink a lime milkshake then let him drink a lime milkshake. Live and let live, that’s my motto. As long as he doesn’t then put it into a coconut then we’re golden.
However, his wife then told us that Rob likes milkshake so much that he often makes his own at home. But instead of using nesquik or crusha or some other designated milkshake creating product, Rob simply adds squash to milk. Yes, squash. you know – cordial, juice, this stuff:
Have you ever heard anything more revolting in your life. Surely there must be some sort of law against this kind of thing? Can we honestly call ourselves a civilized society when a grown man pores this foul concoction down his gullet? Something must be done. He must be stopped. Write to the your MP, write to your MEP, write to the Times. This cannot, cannot be allowed to continue.
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Ye Gods. I’m onto it, just about to write to my MP about it.
notSupermum´s last blog ..Men You Shouldn’t Fancy But Do: Jack Black
@notSupermum, Make sure you do it ALL IN CAPS so as to make sure the point is properly put accross
simply discusting.
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@Arjan, it is indeed
Whatever turns you on-if it doesn’t arm others-go for it!
If your’e going to write, mention those people who eat jellied eels, too. Gack.
JJ Daddy-O´s last blog ..What I was doing this past April….
@JJ Daddy-O, I’m not sure jelied eels are in the same category. At least that’s traditional.
Doesn’t he know it’s this kind of thing that gives British cuisine a bad name?
Erin´s last blog ..For doing my homework, I will award myself one Schrute buck
@Erin, our food has a bad name? Thank god our reputation is upheld by our dentistry then.
Vile.
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@Xbox4NappyRash, yup.
Dear Sir,
Your post has brought to mind the day twenty or so years ago when I was instructed to shop by a wife of my aquaintence, to shop for fresh orange she sent me, quite an easy task you’d imagine.
I brought home eight cartons of a new brand of breakfast orange drink that they were trying out, eight cartons for the price of one “real” breakfast orange.
It was a milk based drink, with orange juice mixed in.
It wasn’t orange flavoured milk, it was much water-ry-er than that, in short it was awful, indeed it was never produced in any sort of quantity after that, I think they just made the eight cartons for a joke to see if anyone would be tight enough to buy them as an “eight for one” sort of bargain.
Gary´s last blog ..Poetry
@Gary, you will be glad to know that your comment has made me gip a little.
Blimey, I remember Orange Squash. Grew up with the stuff. Haven’t had any in years.
Kevin Spencer´s last blog ..New Edition
@Kevin Spencer, no, it doesn’t seem to be available in the USA. What do the kids drink!?
Juice? Not a problem. Now if you were talking about what I know as squash, then it would be seriously vile. The thought makes the juice thing actually seem alright.
SeattleDad´s last blog ..A Timeless Debate
@SeattleDad, what about squash juice?
Oooh, yuck. Just yuck.
Barbara´s last blog ..It’s Not Fair
@Barbara, yup.
I’m going to try it.
@Craig, if you do then let me photograph it for the blog. i’ll give you a double yoker!
You know I support Walsall don’t you? I write for the programme in fact.
It seems you are collecting Walsall fans. Do you want me to give your card to the other two?
SingleParentDad´s last blog ..The capacity to share, or care
@SingleParentDad, I imagine the fanzine gets about as many subscribers as your blog. i.e. you and your mum.
@Dan, Match-day programme you bitch.
And you forgot that your MIL reads my blog, so that’s three.
SingleParentDad´s last blog ..The capacity to share, or care
Archie has orange juice (not squash) on Muesli. Stems back to Hong Kong days when fresh milk wasn’t available in his barrack room. Apparently its not uncommon to do this, but Amy & Evan were quite disgusted when they saw him eating this when we were away – you can imagine what it looks like.
@Jeannette, you sure he’s not just going senile?
I don’t like it. I won’t stand for it.
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Actually, I used to make milkshakes like that when I was kid. Especially with orange squash. Nice shot, by the way.
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Being from the other side of the pond, there are some things I’m glad I just don’t get . . .
tysdaddy´s last blog ..Closer
I can wholeheartedly recommend Robinson’s Strawberry & Kiwi for a delightful squash milkshake. Mmmmmmm……
That is disturbing. I am disturbed. (You are not allowed to say you knew that already.)
Jo Beaufoix´s last blog ..Gluteus Maxemus