All the entries are in and we have ourselves a winner of the claim to fame competition. Becky Schofield is soon to become the proud owner of a fine book of comic verse. She was a dark horse, and many of you may not have even seen her entry as it was squirreled away on another post. But enter she did, and she will be richly rewarded. I think we should remind ourselves of her various brushes with greatness:
1. When I was 5 I tapped danced with Roy Castle.
2. Ben, my ex boyfriend, threw up on Timothy Dalton. Yes, that’s right… James Bond.
Not as extensive as some people’s lists, but packed with quality I’m sure you’ll agree (although my friends grandad used to get his newspapers delivered by Roy Castle, so I think that beats the whole tap dancing thing).
No doubt many of you will howling with outrage at the result; some of you may even be considering taking legal advice. In order to stave off possible litigation I’ve decided to award everyone who participated a prize. Yes, that’s right, pretty soon you too could be the recipient of a piece of tat that I’m trying to get rid of.
Basically we have to empty our spare room of stuff in order to turn it into a nursery for the new baby. We have an entire bookshelf full of books that need to go and, although most of them are going to the charity shop, I thought it would be nice to give a few away to friends too. So if you participated you get a book, posted to you free of charge out of the goodness of my own heart.
For the people that Kerry or I see on a relatively regular basis I think it would be better if we hand delivered them. And as for the Americans, I would like to post all the books to Greg for him to then distribute if that’s ok. But for the rest of you, email me your address and I’ll be right round to peek into your bathroom windows post the books right out to you.
This is a list of who’s getting what. I’ve tried to match the books to what I know (if anything) about the person. It is possible that you might already have what I’m offering, in which case let me know and I’ll send you something else.
- Becky: The family pack – John Hegley
- Steve: Stories we could tell – Tony Parsons
- Craig: Things snowball – Rich Hall
- Brave & Crazy: True tales of American life – Paul Auster
- Bon Bon: The 2 ½ pillars of wisdom – Alexander McCall Smith
- Kerry’s Mum: Artemis Fowl – Eoin Colfer
- Rob: Sex and drugs and sausage rolls – Robert Rankin
- Deb: The curious incident of the dog in the night time – Mark Haddon
- Greg: Bigmouth strikes again – Tony Parsons
- Morticia: How mumbo-jumbo conquered the world – Francis Wheen
- Helen: My legendary girlfriend – Mike Gayle
- Paul: Vive la revolution – Mark Steel
Once you’ve read the books you could always set them free.
Related posts:
And yes, Becky and Paul, I am aware that you think your surname is Sutcliffe. But its not. It is Schofield. Just get used to it.
Also, I am aware that I am announcing the winner forty minutes before the offical closing date, but I want to go to bed.
Too – too generous, Dan. Of course we’re getting used to this kind of behavior from you. You realize you’ll need to inscribe each of these prizes, right?
Here’s what I want on mine, To Greg and his magnificent buttocks. I’m honored that you’ve allowed us to name our first male child after you.
Or something like that. . .
Excellent! Feel free to give me more free stuff. Danke.
woo hoo!! mama always told me i was a winner. now here’s proof!
you’re too kind and most generous…you should consider doing this monthly (before i go back to calling you selfish and cheap).
Thanks Dan! Sounds… interesting?
Hurrah!
I win, I am sure, more because of my ex’s inability to cope with lots of sweets when he was 5 than my dancing talent (or alternatively down to complete randomness – Paul) but I accept the victory with unbecoming smugness all the same.
Thanks Dan…
Thanks! Now I have something to read on the 10 hr. flight to Munich.
I’m anxiously awaiting the next contest!
I’ll have to think about a monthly contest, sounds interesting; although I couldn’t afford to give everyone prizes all the time.
Paul,
Trust me, you’ll like it. Ok, so it’s a history of the French revolution, but its also very funny and has a nice socialist angle on it too.
Dan,
Great choice for me too! Not only a book for the muso in me but written by one of the few authors whose books have made me cry!
I shouldn’t be admitting that to a bluff Yorkshireman should I. I’ll get my coat…
I hope as I was late with my entry (and really just wanting to show off) that you won’t be sending me any of your old tat – I’ve got enough of my own to get rid of as a spare room/dumping ground/study/walk-in linen basket is now nearly a nursery.
Thanks Dan, will collect soon, and if you are looking for more prizes, well I know there are a couple of boxes of Kerry’s “bits & bobs” in our garage which we could bring back to Yorkshire when we move.
Thanks, but I have a good idea what is in those boxes. I’m not sure many people will want a pencil case with the words “I love Bros” scrawled all over it in Tipp-ex.
Pingback: Well that’s another fine mess… at All that comes with it