Surely that would be a womans part? Did you wear a dress?

i) A minion who used to work for me has appeared as a victim on the hilarious bbc hidden camera comedy show “Just For Laughs”

ii) I have kissed dead playwright Joe Orton’s sister and given her a big bunch of flowers.

iii) Henry Cooper once picked me up.

iv) I have interviewed Susie Dent, who sometimes appear on Countdown in dictionary corner.

v) I saved Michael Stipe’s life by finding a spent bullet whilst cleaning a football stadium after an REM gig. (Technically finding the bullet didn’t save his life, but you have to look at the bigger picture).

vi) I missed meeting the entire Leeds United football team by not going to work that day (on purpose).

vii) I missed meeting Nell McAndrew who was dressed as Lara Croft by not going to work that day (by accident).

viii) My step dad used to play cricket with someone who appeared in Emmerdale Farm whose name I forget.

ix) My Dad would sometimes say “hello” to Wilf Lunn.

x) I got a part in a college play because the girl who used to be on Jonny Briggs and said “My Mum who is a nurse” dropped out.

Back in my “would-be rock star” days I met Robert Smith from the Cure and my band’s track on a compilation album caused Record Mirror to proclaim us as “the band most likely…”. (They never said what exactly.) I met “Mersey Sound” poets Roger McGough (also in The Scaffold of “Lily the Pink” fame) and Brian Patten and though I never met their compadre Adrian Henri before he died, he did once sit next to me in the Cornerhouse cinema in Manchester and smelled so bad that I had to move.

But Dan, your Kate Rusby connection knocks all these into a cocked hat for a muso like me. Award yourself the John Hegley and be done with these imposters! ;-)