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Coming out

Today is international de-lurking day.

Many people prefer to stick to the shadows of a blog, seldom making their existence know to the blog’s author. They read quietly and then move on, leaving few traces other than a solitary digit on a statcounter or feedburner. They are the ninjas of the blogging world, silent, stealthy, and perhaps even a tad sneaky.

But today is different. Today is the day that all lurkers leap out into the light and loudly proclaim:

“I [insert name] am a regular reader of All That comes With It. And what’s more I believe That Dan is one of the unsung literary geniuses of our time.”

Over on his blog Rude Cactus has a hundred and fourteen comments on his de-lurking day post. I fully expect to reach the same number. If I don’t then I shall delete this blog in disgust and concentrate on my glamor modeling career.

Which brings me nicely to the second thing I wanted to mention. On Thursday I challenged all the none blog holding people who read this blog to do the self portrait meme that is floating around at the moment.

The rules of the meme are that you have take a photo of yourself as soon as you get tagged, without spending any time on making yourself presentable. Two people emailed me a photo, which to be honest was about two more than I’d been anticipating. Thank you very much Helen and Oli, you are officers and gentlemen (metaphorically speaking of course).

Here first is Oli. Notice his strong masculine jawline and broad muscular shoulders. Every pore of his body is just throbbing with male sexuality. Pwooorrr eh ladies?

Oli

And now to the delightful Helen. She is one of Kerry’s friends and therefore I shall keep my own council about her numerous qualities. I can say that she’s very nice though, and no doubt if she and Oli were to leave their respective partners (does half a melon and a tub of Vaseline count as a partner Oli?) and join forces, they would in all likelihood produce the master race.

Photo-0100

So there you have it. A couple of fine examples of human beings. But you don’t have to send me in a photo to get my admiration and respect. All you have to do today is de-lurk. De-lurk damn you and show yourself.

Even if you don’t even lurk in the first place you can comment. Tell me your favorite joke, tell me what you had for breakfast, smash your forehead into the keyboard and type out some random gobbledygook, but just comment.

Please, please, I just want to be loved.

Please.


0 comments

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  4. Such a feeling’s coming over me
  5. Twitter killed the blogging star?

60 Comments on “Coming out”

  1. #1 Catherine
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    Hahaha a sneak here. But you must understand the dilemma of the sneaker. We haven’t been introduced! So even though your blog is published online, it feels a little like listening in on the friends having a loud conversation on the bus in the seat in front of you – they obviously don’t mind you hearing, but it’s not like you feel comfortable joining in. Sort of. Or maybe I am just a creepy blog stalker :P Anyway, hello!

    Reply

  2. #2 fraizerbaz
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Speaking of lurking, did you hear about this?

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28606831/

    Reply

  3. #3 Paula
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    Dear Dan,

    Having been inspired by your recent posts, I’ve bought a ukulele. Happy new year(ish) and de-lurking day.

    Reply

  4. #4 Oli
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    I hereby proclaim my lack-of-lurking! But then I think you knew that. I’m just posting here to make up the numbers.
    And to question why you’ve pored over my photo enough to notice my masculine jawline and broad shoulders. Or why you feel the need to broadcast the details of our private chats. I mean, I don’t mention your fondness for donkeys – actually, that’s irrelevant, as you publish that yourself: http://allthatcomeswithit.com/archives/697

    Reply

  5. #5 Xbox4NappyRash
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    I’m quite miffed at de-lurk day. What about us poor wasters who never shut up?

    Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Finding a vein

    Reply

  6. #6 Imperceptible
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    I love you Dan. You’re the English cheddar on my tomato sandwich. Can I go back to lurking now?

    Imperceptibles last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Bouncy Ball Art

    Reply

  7. #7 gail
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    so are us ‘constantly cackling commenters’ not allowed to comment on de-lurking day then?

    I suppose you’ll just have to subtract one from your thousands of lurking ninja’s to account for mine.

    I’m feeling discriminated against now…alienated and alone. Alone I tell you.

    gails last blog post..Tagged and Bagged!

    Reply

  8. #8 JJ Daddy-O
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Dan (or should I address you by your new glamour modeling name: “JorDan”).
    I think “coming out” is something different from “de-lurking”, is there something you need to tell us? (I believe coming out day is October 12th in the UK).

    JJ Daddy-Os last blog post..In "Nyah, nyah, France" news….

    Reply

  9. #9 Helen
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    For one day only I’m not lurking!

    My favourite joke…

    What’s pink and fluffy?

    Pink fluff.

    What’s purple and fluffy?

    Pink fluff holding it’s breath!

    Ok, ok, I’ll get my coat. You see, that’s why I lurk!

    Reply

  10. #10 Oli
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Hahah Helen – I like it.

    Reply

  11. #11 Holmes
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    I don’t count as a lurker, exactly, but I would hate for you to delete your blog in disgust.

    Holmess last blog post..365 # 135: Mike C.

    Reply

  12. #12 sethra
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    “I, Sethra, am a regular reader of All That comes With It. And what’s more I believe That Dan is one of the unsung literary geniuses of our time.”

    In addition to the above, I fully believe that Dan may well be the future of ukulele artistic expression, and I am eternally grateful that he has chosen to NOT express this art with the accompaniment of a toy piano and kazoo.

    The end.

    sethras last blog post..Iiiiii just wanna work!

    Reply

  13. #13 Lee
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    I had Coco Rocks this morning which are a little like Coco Pops except on steroids. So they are kind of like the Hulk to the Coco Pop Bruce Banner. I’m not sure if they are just an Australian thing or not (in fact coco pops may in fact just be an Australian thing as they have coco puffs in the US).

    Interesting side note is that you can not make Chocolate Crackles using Coco Pops (now I ‘m pretty certain Chocolate Crackles are indeed Australian and you should do a Google on the interwebs for them – you will thank me) you need to use Rice Bubbles.

    There, that will teach you to make an open call…

    Lees last blog post..To answer the question how do you draw an invisible woman

    Reply

  14. #14 Sam
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    I was going to write ‘what would Oli do with half a melon?’, but I think I get it now.

    Not sure why he would need Vaseline though.

    Reply

  15. #15 Arjan
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    I think you will be in dire need of a sized-up version of Evan’s lovely castagnette dress, just in case you need to get that glamour carreer started. People would pay millions for a pic of that.

    The only reason I’m lurking on some blogs is that comments won’t get replied to , so commenting feels useless (not the case here, so I’m not lurking here). To all lurkers I say *Dan needs attention!!!!* erm.. I mean: Dan is an unsung litterary genious, show him some love, he deserves it.

    Arjans last blog post..A recipe for ‘pepernoten’ / ’spicenuts’

    Reply

  16. #16 Xbox4NappyRash
    on Jan 12th, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    On a side note, I actually agree with Arjan on the responding to comments thing.

    Otherwise, commenting is like talking to a wall.

    Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Finding a vein

    Reply

  17. #17 Phil
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 12:20 am

    Last time I asked people to delurk and comment, I set a record with 12 comments. Then I gave away a couple of iPod Nanos and received over 300 comments.

    I suggest you start giving away iPods.

    Phils last blog post..Bad Dads

    Reply

  18. #18 Phil
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 12:22 am

    Just to add to your total, and to further make my own blog look like a ghost town, here’s a joke from my son:

    Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
    He was looking for Pooh.

    Phils last blog post..Bad Dads

    Reply

  19. #19 Phil
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 12:26 am

    Still adding to Dan’s comment total.

    I also agree with Arjan about responding to comments. I’ve never been very good about doing so on my own blog, just because sometimes I’m not able to read the comments until very late at night when my brain is only working at half-speed and my responses will most likely confirm what everyone already knows: I’m neither funny, nor interesting, nor capable of intelligent discourse.

    Phils last blog post..Bad Dads

    Reply

  20. #20 Phil
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 12:26 am

    Do we get bonus karma points for extra comments? How do I make my picture appear next to my comments?

    Phils last blog post..Bad Dads

    Reply

  21. #21 Phil
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Might as well just keep going… Did I scare Kerry with that Facebook Friends request?

    Phils last blog post..Bad Dads

    Reply

  22. #22 Kath.
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 12:28 am

    “I Katharina am a regular reader of All That comes With It. And what’s more I believe That Dan is one of the unsung literary geniuses of our time.”

    Now can I have my iPod?

    Reply

  23. #23 Phil
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 12:29 am

    Sorry, dude, I can’t keep this up all the way to #114. Someone else will have to take over hogging your comments. I gave it my best shot.

    This has, however, inspired me to go back to my own blog and leave 114 comments to myself under various pseudonyms.

    Phils last blog post..Bad Dads

    Reply

  24. #24 Avitable
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 12:41 am

    I Avitable ejaculate regularly while reading All That comes With It. And what’s more I believe That Dan is one of the well-hung glittery gentiles of our time.

    Avitables last blog post..People are greedy, obnoxious, and retarded

    Reply

  25. #25 VegasDad
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 5:41 am

    random gobbledygook :)

    VegasDads last blog post..tagged

    Reply

  26. #26 Idaho Dad
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 7:43 am

    That Phil character seems to have killed this thread. We might as well all head over to his place and leave comments there instead.

    Reply

  27. #27 gail
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 7:56 am

    hehhehhheeeeee,

    See what you get with a post like this? It opens the doors of the lunatic asylum and we all go…

    heeehoooooleeeeelaaawwwwwhhheeeeeeeeeeee

    blather blather…

    gails last blog post..Jack is Back

    Reply

  28. #28 Clair
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 9:07 am

    Cheeky cheeky…I see what you did with the comments link. “0 comments” my foot!

    PS. Help! I have to talk to children this morning! Anyone have any suggestions?

    Clairs last blog post..TFI Sunday

    Reply

  29. #29 JJ Daddy-O
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    You can’t go wrong with poopy jokes.
    Oh, I’m sorry, are you supposed to be some kind of a good influence on their tiny, impressionable minds? Never mind then.

    JJ Daddy-Os last blog post..In "Nyah, nyah, France" news….

    Reply

  30. #30 Stacey
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    I’m one of those who prefers to stick in the shadows- well, not really. I just have comments of my own in my head, and never take the time to type them out to the author of the blog. Sorry! :)

    Reply

  31. #31 Rol
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    You get more than enough comments as it is, so I’m not going to fall for that old trick….

    …d’oh!

    Rols last blog post..Hulk Smash Stupid Blog Post!

    Reply

  32. #32 Rol
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Oh, and how do I write a comment on your mini blog? Thanks for the kind thoughts… I’m still waiting.

    Rols last blog post..Hulk Smash Stupid Blog Post!

    Reply

  33. #33 Pa
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    This is a comment

    Reply

  34. #34 casey
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    i got in a skydiving accident when I was 19

    caseys last blog post..Pudding Shot Recipe

    Reply

  35. #35 Lazlo Hollyfeld
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    Was I lurking? I didn’t mean to lurk.

    By the way, did you know they’re using your blog to build a weapon?

    Reply

  36. #36 morticia
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    My favourite joke is a religious* one:

    How many protestants does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Doesn’t matter because they are condemned to eternal darkness anyway.

    * I was brought up a very strict roman catholic but have been atheist since I was about 13, it makes me laugh because for me it highlights the silliness and closed ranks-ness of catholicism but it is not my intention to offend anyone who is either catholic or protestant.

    Reply

  37. #37 kerry
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 8:34 pm

    I don’t know if I’d be classed as a lurker. I’m a frequent reader, funnily enough but rarely comment. I suppose you know I’m here somewhere….

    Reply

  38. #38 Steve
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    Healthy muesli with a layer of Special K on top. (We’ll skip over the bag of crisps when I got to work.)

    Steves last blog post..If you do one thing today…

    Reply

  39. #39 Dan
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    Catherine – Hello! I can see where you are coming from, but there’s no etiquette really, just dive in and start babbling.

    Fraizerbaz – Arg, my secret other life is out.

    Paula – Hurrah!

    Oli – Your masculine jawline and broad muscular shoulders are there for all to see. You are just a fine figure of a man and there’s no escaping it.

    Xbox – You get all the other days.

    Impreceptible -You can, thank you for emerging briefly from the shadows.

    Gail – No you aren’t allowed to comment. And for transgressing this rule I fine you £250. I expect a check in the mail shortly.

    JJ Daddy O – I’m surprised Jordan has made it over there. In fact you do know quite a lot about british popular culture. Are you really secretly posting from Rotherham?

    Helen – My favorite at the moment is:

    What does Cliff Richard do after a gig?
    He quietly slips into the Shadows

    Holmes – I shall bestow on you honorable lurker status.

    Sethra – I nearly bought a kazoo the other day actually, but perhaps I should just stick to the ukulele/cow bell combination I’ve been working on.

    Lee – We have coco pops too. We call our Rice Bubles “Rice Crispies” though. And we call our Vegimite “Axle grease”.

    Sam – To remove the watermelon of course.

    Arjan – It doesn’t bother me if someone doesn’t reply to my comments, but then again thinking about it i do tend to have better relationships with people who do respond. Best of all is emailing the commenter, but that takes quite a bit of time to do properly.

    Phil – 1) No one is touching my bloody ipod.
    2) That could quite possibly be the most sophisticated piece of humor this blog will ever see
    3) I tend to respond to comments just before I start writing the next post, which makes me a little late on occasion. Such as this time for example.
    4) gravatar.com
    5) No you diodn’t scare her. she is a little cautious with her facebook account however.

    Kath – You can have Phil’s.

    Phil – Yoiu again?!

    Avitable – Why thank you sir. I think.

    VegasDad – Strangely enough that was much more cogent than all of your other comments put together:)

    Idaho dad – Damn it, I think i’m going to have to get the exterminators in.

    Gail – I’m trying to work out how to ban people from this blog right this very second.

    Clair – I am a cunning man. As for the kids, i like to start off with a few rude jokes and then a frank discussion on the existence of santa.

    JJ Daddy O – Hang on, haven’t I already replied to you? This comment thread is getting too long, i don’t know how Avitable manages it.

    Stacy – No need to apologise, i lurk on a fair few blogs myself too. It’s nice to know you’re there though:)

    Rol – Bwahahah. And to comment on the mini blog there is a little blue # symbol you can click. It isn’t all that well designed for comments.

    Pa – You’re right, it is.

    Casey – You wouldn’t catch me skydiving. My brother in law has an interesting video of him doing it and his parachute not opening. Not for me i think, i’ll stick to walking around with my shoelaces undone.

    Lazlo – There’s nothing wrong with a little lurkage. I wasn’t aware of them using this blog as a weapon. I’m assuming it’s used to bore people to death?

    Morticia – I think there should be more comments on this blog with footnotes. Brings an academic air to proceedings I think.

    Kerry – Who are you again?

    Reply

  40. #40 Dan
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    Steve – Damnit i always miss one. I like musili. mmmmm

    Dans last blog post..Coming out

    Reply

  41. #41 James
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    Wow you have a big fanclub. I am afraid to do that at mine. Mom and Dad maybe…

    Jamess last blog post..When Museums are Fun

    Reply

  42. #42 Craig
    on Jan 13th, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    erm “I [insert name] am a regular reader of All That comes With It. And what’s more I believe That Dan is one of the unsung literary geniuses of our time.” wotsit.

    Reply

  43. #43 bon bon
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 12:33 am

    why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    because it was dead.

    Reply

  44. #44 JJ Daddy-O
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 12:53 am

    I only know about Jordan because when I go down to the beach here, and look out over the Atlantic Ocean in the direction of England, I can see her massive breasts, er, poking, up over the horizon.

    JJ Daddy-Os last blog post..In "Nyah, nyah, France" news….

    Reply

  45. #45 Rattling the Kettle
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 5:19 am

    I am always here, watching you.

    Rattling the Kettles last blog post..Growing

    Reply

  46. #46 Whit
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Long time reader, first time commenter.

    Now, back to lurking.

    Whits last blog post..Have Fun Storming the Castle

    Reply

  47. #47 Helen
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 11:18 am

    Ha ha Dan… I did laugh at your joke. Do you get a drift of the level of my sense of humour?

    Reply

  48. #48 LBB
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    A semi-lurker in a bad mood writes:

    I went for a swim this morning and am sat here looking like I’ve been two rounds with Mike Tyson.

    EVERY time I swim I end up with massive goggle marks. Huge ones. Like someone has drawn comedy bags under my eyes or I’ve put my eyes up to a blackened pair of binoculars.

    Just thought I’d share.

    LBBs last blog post..South America – it’s really quite massive

    Reply

  49. #49 Arjan
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    sounds like you should go swimming without the goggles..
    I wear contactlenses..which means I don’t swim under water with my eyes open..or I should wear goggles.

    Arjans last blog post..A recipe for ‘pepernoten’ / ’spicenuts’

    Reply

  50. #50 NYCWD
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    Wait.

    De-Lurking Day has gone International now?

    Bloody hell.

    NYCWDs last blog post..Taking Precedence

    Reply

  51. #51 Dan
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    James – You think you could persuade your mum and dad to read my blog too?

    Craig – Well done. Your check is in the mail

    bon bon – That’s not a joke, it’s a tragedy.

    JJ Daddy O – She’s had a breast reduction recently, not that I follow her career or anything.

    Rattling the Kettle – Excuse me while I just go and make sure my door is locked

    Whit – You look remarkably like a monkey man I once knew

    Helen – Yes. Yes I do.

    LBB – I demand photographic evidence

    Arjan – You could always get contact goggles

    NYCWD – You betcha cowboy.

    Reply

  52. #52 Arjan
    on Jan 14th, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    contact goggles..hmm that sounds awfully like a combination of goggles and a pair of glasses. You should invent that and sell it and get rich…

    Arjans last blog post..A recipe for ‘pepernoten’ / ’spicenuts’

    Reply

  53. #53 PG
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 6:16 am

    I’ve been so lax in my visitations that my info wasn’t even prefilled in the boxes above. don’t know that I’m a lurker, but thought I’d post anyway – a day late.

    PGs last blog post..Man Down! (349/365)

    Reply

  54. #54 Erin
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    Sorry I missed delurking day–but I’m a new reader and thoroughly enjoy your mastery of the English language. (Which is saying a lot because I’m an editor–and a half-American.)

    Erins last blog post..What is it about celebrities that causes them to frequently end up in lists?

    Reply

  55. #55 Dan
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    Arjan – You might just have something there. Would you be interested in investing a couple of thousand in my new venture?

    PG – Naughty PG. You know that I expect a proper commitment from the readers of this blog. If you aren’t visiting at least twice an hour then you just aren’t cutting it.

    Erin – Wow, mastery of the English language eh? You are new aren’t you! Thanks though.

    Dans last blog post..Coming out

    Reply

  56. #56 Jo Beaufoix
    on Jan 17th, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    So I don’t lurk here, but I had weetabix, and, clearing throat,

    Shakespeare walked into a bar.
    Barman said, “Y’ Barred.”

    (I prefer the pooh joke above actually.)

    Oh and,

    knock Knock
    Who’s there?
    Adunup.
    Adunup who?
    Bwah ha ha haaaaa.

    Jo Beaufoixs last blog post..A Man of Letters

    Reply

  57. #57 Dan
    on Jan 18th, 2009 at 1:05 am

    Jo – You’re obsessed with poo woman!

    Reply

  58. #58 LBB
    on Jan 19th, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    Why did the baker have brown hands?

    Because he kneaded a poo…

    Dan – I’m going swimming tomorrow – if I get goggle marks again I promise to email over a photo.

    Arjan – I would swim without the bloody things but become hysterical if my eyes come into contact with water. I’m one of those people who closes their eyes when using Optrex ensuring it runs down my face and into my mouth, bypassing my eyes completely…

    LBBs last blog post..Songs of Praise

    Reply

  59. #59 Henri
    on Jan 20th, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    What is Blog? I can has win Bentley Now?????

    Henris last blog post..We’re Gonna Need More Bullets

    Reply

  60. #60 Raging Dad
    on Jan 23rd, 2009 at 12:08 am

    This is a brilliant idea. I will have my own delurking day soon…

    Raging Dads last blog post..I could not marry this chick

    Reply

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