Armstrong and Miller’s podcast Timeghost is a strange beast. Theoretically it is them performing as their comedy characters Craig Children and Martin Baine-Jones, two pompous and puffed up cultural critics. In practice however they often break character and begin expressing their own informed and fascinating insights into various issues.
I was catching up with my listening while sorting out the laundry and became intrigued by by their discussion surrounding misery memoirs.
This loathsome genre of literature has become particularly prevalent over the last few years. Both Waterstones and Borders have entire bookcases devoted to them labeled “Painful lives” and “Real lives” respectively.
I’ve read one. The originator of the genre in fact: A Child called It. The whole thing made me feel very uncomfortable and I haven’t picked another one up since. The reason for my discomfort wasn’t my empathy with horrors the child was going through, it was the fact I was using this horrific set of circumstances as a form of entertainment.
Ostensibly these misery memoirs are inspiring works which help the reader confront and educate themselves about topics that are usually swept under the carpet by society. In reality however they are at best voyeuristic sensationalism and at worst a form of sadistic and pedophilic pornography.
And there are bloody thousands of them: Don’t ever tell, Please Daddy no, Loss of innocence, Worthless, Don’t tell Mummy, Ma he sold me for a few cigarettes. Each sporting the uniform bleached white photo of a solum looking child gazing mournfully at you from the cover.
But the misery memoir seems to have had it’s heyday. Apparently sales of the top 20 of the genre are down 30% on last year. And long may that trend continue say I.
And this is where it starts to get really interesting to me. Apparently in times of economic prosperity there is a large public appetite for gritty realism and tragedy in their entertainment. Whereas in times of difficulty comedy becomes more popular. It seems there is a need for balance in peoples lives. When reality looks bright, then people consume darkness. When things look bleak they gravitate towards the light.
Which all goes to explain why I have felt culturally disenfranchised for the past five years or so.
Just last night I was sitting in a patient’s house alongside two child protection social workers. We were waiting to get telephone confirmation about the availability of a acute psychiatric bed so that I could transport the patient and the social workers could get on with working out what was going to happen to her child. The TV in the corner was on and we were all half watching it. When an advert for the new series of celebrity big brother came on one of the social workers turned to the other and said:
“I’m addicted to that. I know it’s rubbish but when you come home from doing this all day you just want to escape don’t you”.
Exactly.
The last thing I want to do after spending eight or nine hours wallowing in human misery for a living is come home and watch ER or Eastenders or a documentary about children growing up in Brazilian slums. I don’t want my heartstrings to be tugged or my tears to be jerked. I don’t enjoy feeling sad for gods sake, I want to laugh.
I’m not comparing these forms of entertainment to the repugnant misery lit genre, they are clearly unrelated. But I have a similar inability to enjoy them all the same.
I used to worry that this made me shallow. That I was missing out on a rich cultural diet in favor of the junk food of sit-coms and panel games. I felt guilty about giving up on Battlestar Galactica half way through season three because all the characters were being unpleasant to each other. I fell into the trap of thinking heavy and serious translated to weighty and worthy; that light and funny was frothy and somehow inferior.
But i’ve come to realize that just because I don’t want to spend my free time immersing myself in tragedy and suffering doesn’t make me a lesser person. It just means I don’t have enough space in my soul to take on more sadness than I am currently dealing with. I am not as informed as I should be on topics such as the middle east conflict, Zimbabwe, and the deteriorating relationship between India and Pakistan. I rarely read the paper and generally switch over whenever the news comes on Radio 4. But I know quite a lot about the suicidal thoughts of the man I saw last week who’s wife left him; and to be honest that’s as much as I want to deal with right now.
I need to stop worrying about “improving myself” in directions that make me feel uncomfortable, and start concentrating on activities that lighten my heart.
So if you want me I’ll be over there in the corner blogging about inanities and practicing my ukulele.
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I’m right behind you Dan (Panto for the feel-good factor, no?)
I think we can’t help but be ignorant to the world’s wrongs, there is soooooooooo many of them. I too don’t see the point in immersing ourselves in it too much, especially in downtime from other pursuits. Especially in your case when your work is in a very commendable field.
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It makes a lot of sense. Having spent most of the day designing stuff on the computer, the last thing I want to do when I get home is spend more time at a computer. Stands to reason that you’ll be the same with your level of emotional distraction.
I’ve now subscribed to Armstrong and Miller’s podcast, and shall start working my way through it.
I’m glad you published this post today – I was afraid there’d be a collection of photos that people sent to you yesterday….
those books aren’t written for me either..
Although I do enjoy gritty war novels. Now go play the ukelele! And watch sitcoms.
Arjans last blog post..Bouncing across the world
You forgot to mention the identical title style. No misery memoir worth it’s salt uses a clean gothic font, it’s always handwritten scrawl.
Great post, something that I’ve had knocking around on the back of my mind too.
SingleParentDad – I think you might be on your own with the pantos, although to be fair I did use to act in them in my youth.
I do feel guilty about not being better informed, but the sad truth is most of my news knowledge comes from current events based comedy shows.
Oli – That’s coming Monday. if you call two a collection.
Arjan – I don’t mind war novels, but not gritty ones.
Becky – I forgot about the title font. Yes, they are all interchangeable. It’s depressing really.
I have canceled the newspaper and rarely watch the news. I get weather updates from my mother-in-law. My world is what happens immediately around and in front of me. Tangibly. If that makes me shallow–so be it.
Ed (zoesdad)s last blog post..A Most Opportune Tag–Otherwise, I Would Have Had to Resort to Shameless Self-Promotion
I read “A Child Called It” and the other 2 in the series – I don’t know what possessed me, but I understand exactly what you mean about switching off, especially doing the sort of job you do. CBB evictions tonight…just saying ;o)
Penelopes last blog post..The beginning of the end?
“So if you want me I’ll be over there in the corner blogging about inanities and practicing my ukulele.”
Good, my policy goes something along the lines of “Bollax to the rest of the world, I pay politicians to take care of that”
Garys last blog post..Incredible Bright Red Man
I feel uncomfortable just looking at those books on a shelf. They aren’t for me either.
I can’t do with Big Brother now either. Its like some kind of freak show. I worry about the type of ‘entertainment’ people seem to want these days. Before long they’ll be wanting to watch hangings and disembowelments!
What happened to soppy films and board games?
gails last blog post..Stuck ‘n’ Boots
Ed – There is something to be said for sticking your head in the sand. I’m not sure if being informed on issues that you have no control on is empowering or disempowering.
Penelope – I’m not really a fan of BB either, although the celebraty version is not as exploitative. Or rather is mutually exploitative.
Gary -that’s a damn good philosophy, I may well have to steal that from you.
Gail – I agree, especially the “regular” brand of big brother. I’m hoping that people will bore of it soon. The ratings for it and shows like it certainly suggest things are going that way.
You’re right about the need to disconnect. I’ve been telling the wife for quite a while that I’m just sick of reality television, which seems to always be on the television. I want to enjoy something not so real.
BTW…I had never heard of those books. They sound dreadful.
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I’d heard of a couple of these books, but had managed to avoid them until the January sales. I hadn’t realised how scarily obsessed the country was with them till I saw a whole section devoted to them in WHSmiths!
Is this part of the culture of grief that latches onto the deaths of celebrities/royals?
I think you’ve selected the correct attitude to have here. (Although I enjoyed BSG series 3. I guess that says something about my job compared to yours :) )
Pandora Caitiffs last blog post..One of those review of the year thingys
I am right there with you Dan on the ‘spending to much time on certain frivalities and not keeping up on the more important things going on in the world. Blogging is more fun though.
Jamess last blog post..Come Again?
Completely with you on the need to disconnect front, its ten years since I decided not to train as a social worker after being assaulted on duty at a childrens home, I have never regretted this decision.
I think part of my ‘love’ of Jeremy Kyle (I know its dreadful) is because I can remind myself that those are the kind of intractable deeply ingrained poverty exacerbated/caused issues I’d have to deal with if I returned to that field of work and frankly I’d rather it was on tv where I have an off switch and can turn to Randall and Hopkirk Deceased when I want. I simply haven’t got the wherewithal to do that kind of work anymore.
I’ll leave aside the whole social services/mental health field not being given enough wherewithal to adequately support familes and individuals in the first place discussion for another day.
I’m a bit torn.
I don’t want to ‘not know’ about the ills of the world, but they can and do crush your spirit a little.
At the same time, as victims, people have every right to be heard, part of healing I guess.
The idea that waterstones has a section ‘Painful Lives’ is scary.
Above it all, it’s the media that have turned me off, there isn’t a headline these days that I don’t think is being sensationalised to tug at our heartstrings and that makes me resentful.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..My inheritance
Sam told me about your blog, knowing it would interest me.
I’m going to be controversial here, and say that I am a fan of these books! I find them horrific, upsetting but once I start I cant put them down.
Maybe I am a sucker for misery! especially as my current job is dealing with children with child protection issues. For me though I feel that I need to have an understanding of their lives because it is something I never even come close to experiencing. It makes me feel humbled and, shamefully, they have been a complete eye opener in making me realise just how good I have got it. And perhaps niaively I think that maybe in some small way in the future I maybe able to help.
But conversely I am quite horrified by my interest in such a morbid genre of books.
However I do not agree with the current trend of social workers writing about their cases. That is exploiting on others misery and frankly really immoral. And these ‘extraordinary lives’ programmes, but that is another issue….
Thought I’d open up the debate a little!
VegasDad – I’m fairly confident that in a couple of years we’ll have all had our fill of reality TV. there will be a few still on, but not in the huge concentration that we have them now.
Pandora – I’m not sure if it is the same psychological phenomena as caused the ridiculous scenes surrounding the death of Diana. I suspect that was more a group hysteria while this is more voyeurism. I think it’s the same base reaction that makes people slow down at car accidents.
James – I have now adopted Gary’s perspective on the serious things going on in the world.
Morticia – I can deal with adults suffering, it is when it is kids that I really struggle. I’ve felt like I’d like to get out of nursing for about three years now, but the only problems is I’m not sure I know how to do anything else.
Xbox – I’m not sure victims have a “right to be heard” or at least I’m not sure they have a “right to be exploited by publishers for the entertainment of others. and half of them make it all up anyhow.
Lucy – To me the only reason for these books is voyeurism. They are not clinical case studies, they are entertainment.
Just as you would not rely on the Sun or the Daily mail to give you impartial and objective information on immigration or European politics you shouldn’t rely on these books to inform your knowledge of child protection issues.
For a start there have been numerous allegations that many of the stories are completely fabricated, some of which have been found to be which in court. and even if they aren’t false they are exaggerated and sensationalized.
Yes you feel sad when reading them, but just like the fear you feel when watching a horror film the emotion is transient and exists due to emotional manipulation.
Or at least that’s my view of them. I realize I have no real insight into what you get out of the genre, and obviously your views are as valid as mine. My intent in this post was to thrash out a few of my own thoughts rather than damn anyone elses.
Dans last blog post..An Englishman in Wisconsin
Well, yes, there is a huge difference between a victim, speaking out, telling their story, and regaining control and some hack taking a stab at it for them.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..A tragic demise
Hi Dan, Oli referred me to your blog and I’ve been reading it on and off for a little while now. (with a baby asleep on my knee there’s only so much daytime tv and the news i can stomach) Personally I don’t read that type of book because I know how much it would disturb, upset and then prey on my mind – lets face it, I read about Baby P then spent about two days alternating between feeling sad and muttering under my breth about Old Testament-style eye-for-an-eye punishments . God knows what sort of impact a whole book of the stuff would have… I can’t face Big Brother anymore either, the whole thing is just a desperate farce – contestants, whether “celeb” or standard muppet, desperate for some form of notoriety, and the producers shamelessly exploiting this desire, pushing them into ever more humiliating games for the enjoyment of the viewing public. Nasty. That jungle one is worse by the way…
Anyway, you also got me thinking about what people do get from these books, and it reminded me of a documentary we watched a while ago, Chosen (http://www.chosen.org.uk/). It was a very simple film which consisted of three men recounting their abuse at the hands of teachers at a particular public school, from the start, when they gained their and their parents thrust, to finally admitting the truth (universally, only after their parents had died.) I watched with interest, but a horrified interest. It wasn’t “entertainment” or voyeurism, and once I stumbled across it I felt it necessary to watch on, because the issues were more complicated than I thought and it threw up a lot of unexpected stuff – the abusers were charismatic, well-liked, they had gained the respect and trust of the whole school and parents for decades, that the victims could not admit what had happened because of the overwhelming sense that they had colluded in the whole thing, and also that their parents were responsable because they had “thrown them to the lions”. The parents had entrusted them to the care of the school, therefore whatever happened their must implicitly have had their approval (they thought). Of course the truth was that the parents could simply not concieve that this was possible and they did not address the issue at all. So perhaps the misery memoir has a place in the interest of openness and knowing your potential enemy. At the very least, when William starts school I’ll know to discuss their child protection policy with the head, even though I think any nastiness at our wee local primary is highly unlikely. Ignoring the issue allowed the abuse to continue for thirty-odd years, and while I can see your point that you come across misery and suffering at work and have no need for it at home, perhaps the fortunately ignorant masses need the odd reminder…
Sorry for the rambling comment – it’s your own fault for providing food for thought!!
Catherine
Dan that was brilliant and so true. I can’t be arsed with reading books that make me cry. What’s the point? I know vile stuff happens and I’m sorry it does, but I’ve got enough of my own to del with without filling my head with more distress that I can do nothing about. Armstrong and Miller are fabulous though.
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Catherine – I’m really sorry. I only just realized that I hadn’t replied to this. I did concoct something in my mind if that’s any consolation.
It’s an interesting point. As you say I tend to come across stories of abuse nearly every week as part of my job, so I imagine I’m more aware of it than your average man on the street. And this documentary certainly did it’s job in raising awareness in you. I think it’s a different beast than the misery memoir however. People don’t tend to stop at one of these, they consume whole bookshelves. There has to be a point where it stops becoming about educating yourself and starts becoming a form of entertainment.
Oh I don’t know, I’m coming across as a real snob here, laying down dictates about what people should and shouldn’t enjoy reading. I really don’t mean to do that, it’s just that those books make me really uncomfortable.