How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
He felt his presence.
on Dec 21 in General by Dan
My ukulele obsession is still raging rampantly on. I even worked an overtime shift today in order that I could justify considering buying this. Just to put that in context, it’s the first overtime shift I’ve agreed to work in seven years of nursing.
Greg what have you done?
In other, none ukulele, news (by the way, did you know that the uke was introduced to Hawaii by Portuguese immigrants in the 1880s?) Christmas is definitely making it’s presence known in the Hughes household.
When I was younger I had a notorious reputation within my family of being able to guess what presents I and my siblings were getting before they were opened. I did this through a subtle and complex methodology involving psychology, probability calculations, and dropping the parcels on the floor to see if they made breaking noises.
I was no amateur at this, I really did have a talent for gift analysis and prediction. It’s a shame there was never a CSI: Santa’s Grotto as I’d have been a shoe in for a spot in the forensic team.
These days unfortunately my talents are woefully under utilized. So far under our tree there are only two presents for me – a pair of socks from Amy and a DVD from my brother. Hardly a challenge for a man of my abilities. Of course I’m not sure what the DVD actually is, but I have a pretty good idea. I would reveal my guess here on the blog, but that would seem a little ungrateful somehow. If anyone doubts my prowess then I am more than happy to email them my prediction and they can act as independent adjudicator.
Sometimes my talent can feel like more of a curse than a blessing. By knowing what 90% of my presents are in advance I often spoil Christmas for myself. The flip side of this of course is that I also have the ability to spoil my sibling’s Christmases too. Every cloud has a silver lining.
Unfortunately this year my ability to impose misery on my brother and sister is severely restricted by the fact that they, along with my mother, have jetted off to Morocco for the holidays. The bastards.
Still, maybe my time has now passed. Maybe in the immortal words of Danny Glover “I’m too old for this shit”. Perhaps my reign as Present Guesser Extraordinaire has expired and it’s time to hand the baton onto the next generation:
“I think this one is a hat Daddy”
Related posts:
- Chad Vader
- A Christmas Conundrum
- Christmas cracker
- ’twas the week before New Years
- A letter to Santa. As dictated by Amy (age 3) and typed by Dan (age 30 and three quarters)
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Solid. I know the thing about such talents being a curse though…
I was less of a present guesser, more of a present hunter. I posted about it last year, maybe I will repost it.
PGs last blog post..Dunkin’ Donuts & Sweet Baby Jesus (322/365)
The title to this post had me in stitches for hours, I’m very sheltered as I’ve never heard that joke before and now I’m telling everyone!
I’m reasonably useless in my gift guessing.
Lees last blog post..My top ten film disappointments for 2008
I hadn’t heard the joke either…I told me adult son who said it was terrible through his laughter. I never really wanted to know what my presents were, but once as an adult, I experimented with bragging about my predictive talents. Before I would open them, I would state what I thought it was. My mother was visiting, and we were opening gifts with my girlfriend, and she asked mom if I was always this bad. Of course, mom didn’t pass up a chance to agree on the topic!
Johns last blog post..Rudolph Rant
I would have gone for; he forced it out of him, but your gag is much better.
I rarely have to guess, people buy me stuff I either know about or was there when they got it, yet still wrap it up. What is all that about?
I’ve got on-board a bit more now, as I suppose my son would like me to be opening presents too.
Is the DVD Kerry Katona’s ‘binge yourself slim’?
SingleParentDads last blog post..It’s Not Me
I have an awful habit of figuring out what people are thinking of getting me, and then dropping an obvious hint that I don’t want that. Great fun for the misery guts in me, but I do lose out on all the cool presents.
I love that picture, especially the stray Christmas tree ornament that has found it’s way into the corner.
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..The wheeze on the bus goes round and round
When we were little my brother and I were terrible present squeezers. So much so that in the end we all stopped putting labels on presents, so you could squeeze all you liked but you still wouldn’t know what you were getting for Christmas.
Janes last blog post..Woohoo again
With the presents you just have to block it out. I always could guess most of mine too, so had to not try so as not to ruin Christmas. Fun picture. Makes me wish I had mine wrapped.
Jamess last blog post..Bada Bing, Bada Boom
PG – I managed to resist hunting, despite the fact I knew where they were hidden.
Lee – it’s a quality gag alright.
John – mother’s rarely pass up the chance to embarrass their sons.
SingleParentDad – No, it’s Jade Goodies guide to international relations.
xbox – I am rather ashamed to admit that I photoshopped various stains on the carpet out. It’s a lot easier than actually cleaning it.
Jane – I’m pretty sure my powers would be able to circumnavigate even that obstacle.
James – Block it out eh? Those cheap Jedi mind tricks don’t work on me.
Hee hee, I’ve heard that joke before and I still laugh. The new Uke looks gorgeous Dan, but you have to keep the fruity yellow one too. Then when you’re a famous uke player you can make a fortune on ebay.
And that picture is gorgeous.
Jo Beaufoixs last blog post..Christmas Miracle?